Listen, love, you wont believe the drama that went down at work last week. So Im in the break room with Eleanor, Zoe and Natalie, and Ian my husband pops in looking all flustered.
Dont worry, Im not on a diet, Eleanor says with a grin, as if that explains anything.
Zoe, with that mischievous twinkle, asks, Why didnt you bring your husband? We paid for two tickets, you know.
I didnt think it mattered, Anne Whitaker, the head of accounts, chimes in, looking over her spectacles. Usually everyone comes with their families.
Eleanors hiding her husband from us! Zoe teases.
No, no, hes just ill, Eleanor replies, a little too quickly.
Zoe jokes, Maybe you started the New Years party early? We couldve boiled a litre of tea for him and hedve been right as rain!
Natalie rolls her eyes, Or youd end up a widow, huh?
Zoe brushes it off, Weve got such a garden here, anyone could spring back to life!
Natalie adds with a smile, And then dance about it!
Zoe, trying to be cheeky, says, Eleanor, maybe you dont actually have a husband? Maybe you just wear a ring to keep the old boys off your back?
Anne laughs, If its for the sake of health, just give us a ring and well sort you a proper bloke.
Eleanor snaps, I do have a husband, thank you very much.
Natalie nods, She even handed me the marriage certificate from HR Ian Parsons, if my memory serves.
Zoe leans in, Are you keeping Ian from us? It looks a bit suspicious.
She goes on, Two months ago we had the team offsite, and you were only with the kid! Now its the office party and youre flying solo. He doesnt even pick you up after work, doesnt say goodbye!
Eleanor simply says, He works.
Anne waves her hands, Alright, why are you all poking Eleanor? Shes happy with her husband, no ones asking you to meddle.
Anne, as chief accountant, was the one representing the powers that be at the party. The boss had already taken off for a night out, so things were a bit chaotic. By the second toast, Ian was already trying to cut a rug.
Veronica, who works with Eleanor, sighs, I think Eleanors hiding her husband from us. Were in the same shift, so were practically mates. Ive been over to her flat a few times and never seen Ian. Im pretty sure at most two times hes been there.
Eleanor retorts, Hes usually either in the loo or on the balcony. Hes not the type to meddle in my business.
Everyone seems to accept that explanation, but Eleanors voice trembles so much they all suspect shes holding something back.
Natalie, who runs HR, says, Lying isnt very ladylike, dear. She spots the fib right away.
Eleanor gasps, Why would he even bother us?
Zoe, ever the inquisitor, wonders, What kind of man is he? What sort of dad? Maybe we should give him a little character building?
The whole team jokes about rehabilitating Ian, but Eleanor snaps, Ill handle him myself.
Zoe presses, Come on, give us the lowdown. Youve only been here six months, we know nothing about you.
Eleanor shrugs, Ians a normal bloke, average, works there are plenty like him.
Natalie smirks, Sounds like youre hiding something, Valerie. Youre keeping him away from us, from your girlfriends, from the rest of the crew. Not nice, love!
Eleanor asks, What if I have legitimate reasons?
Zoe replies, Spill them, and well decide if theyre legit.
Anne backs her up, Our boss is busy with his own drama, so were just here for the gossip.
Eleanor mumbles, Not much to add.
Zoe encourages, Were all ears, Valerie!
—
Now, a quick flashback. Before we moved to this town which is about two thousand miles away my whole life was in a tiny place up north. All the big milestones happened there, and the new life here is quiet and steady. The lessons I learned back then still stick with me, so the calm feels like a reward.
I met Ian at the factory right after leaving college. He was a few years older and a step up the ladder, but that didnt stop a workplace romance from sparking which eventually turned into a solid marriage. The crew was thrilled for the two of us, although the joy was a bit skewed.
The plant where we both ended up was packed with women; men were in short supply, especially the kind of engineers Ian was. Plenty of lads were eyeing him, and he was a hot commodity in the office. When he finally became my husband, it felt like the ladies had lost a prize catch, and they started resenting me for stealing him away. They knew only I could choose Ian, and that didnt sit well with those whod been eyeing him for ages.
People would ask, Does Valerie cook? Does she keep the house tidy? Anything she cant do, shell brag about. It was halfjoking, halftruth, and it made me cringe a bit.
When our son was born, the lemon market as we joked about all the eligible bachelors got even more frantic. Still, nobody could accept that Ian was off the market. Some even plotted to get him back into the pool.
All this chatter stayed under wraps, though. My colleagues smiled at me, flattered, and it was useful to be on good terms. By the time I went on maternity leave, Id been promoted to supervisor, then a master craftsman, and eventually deputy floor manager. Friend or foe, the mix of feelings about me never faded, and some people still dreamed of pulling me apart from Ian.
Molly, another senior tech, tried hard to befriend me. I was honest with her, helped out whenever I could, lent money, shared knowhow, even sent Ian over for small repairs at her place. But one incident made me pause.
Ian came back from Mollys flat, looking rattled, muttering, Im never going back to Molly again. She should call the council for a handyman!
I asked, What happened?
He flushed, Everythings gone wrong. She she sort of lunged at me, I barely escaped.
I was stunned, Youre serious?
He swore on his sons health, She was in a robe, I thought shed be home. She sprang at me like a cat! I dodged, but she clung on, left bruises on my shoulder. Im done, I wont go back.
The next day, gossip was swirling that Ian and Molly had spent an unforgettable evening together, with Molly even flashing a piece of his shirt as proof. She cornered me in the loo, warning me that if she kept spreading the rumors, thered be trouble. I thought a slap would end it, but it didnt.
A few weeks later, the company threw a big Christmas party. Everyone brought their partners. I stepped away for a quick bathroom break, and when I got back Ian was nowhere to be seen. I started hunting through dim corridors, checking every room, until I finally found him in a back lounge, surrounded by three of his male colleagues. They were halfundressed, making a right mess of things. Ian didnt even try to resist.
I stormed in, yanking at their sleeves, and gave them a proper goodold British scolding, sending them packing. Ian looked dazed, drooling a bit, clearly not himself. I tried to coax him back to sanity, but all I could see was a camera on a tripod recording everything.
The next thing I know, those three blokes, along with Molly and two of her workfriends, were making a video of the whole scene. If Id watched it, Id have thrown Ian out on the spot. Who could ever forgive that betrayal?
After the holidays, Ian and I handed in our resignation letters. Revenge felt pointless; the damage was already done. It was easier to just leave. The worst part was that Molly and her two friends were my own mates.
Never trust your girlfriends, I muttered later. We decided wed keep Ian under the radar no introductions, no invites. If they dont know him, they cant swoop in, Ian said. Ill stay home, Ive got a lovely wife and a kid to adore.
Now, in the new town, I keep my personal life separate from work. My colleagues and friends have no idea who my husband is, and thats just the way we like it.
Anne Whitaker, ever the pragmatic one, admired the precautionary move. If nobody knows about the husband, nobody will try to steal him, she said. Zoe added, Even Nats husband disappeared once taken by a best friend. And Svetlana from marketing, with two kids and a longtime pal, chimed in, See? Better not have girlfriends at all.
I agreed, Its a new city, new people. We have to figure out how to get along. Ian suggested we keep him a secret Just the husband, nothing more, he said.
Veronica mused, Its interesting, but I wont get involved.
Anne, with a sly grin, warned, The less your girlfriends know about your men, the less chance theyll be whisked away.
And that, love, is the whole tangled mess. Hope you enjoyed the saga I swear Im drained now!
