My mother-in-law suggested she could help look after our children during the summer. Now retired, she has a good deal of free time, so we agreed to her offer.
Both of us have demanding jobs and three young children, yet its virtually impossible for either of us to take a proper holiday. Usually, we alternate taking days off work whenever one of the children falls ill or something important crops up. On occasion, we manage a weekend away, provided nothing urgent arises at home, but thats as far as it goes.
For the last three years, weve been chipping away at a twenty-year mortgage. Wed grown weary of endlessly moving from one rented place to the next; in the end, buying a home seemed the sensible route, even if it meant higher monthly payments. Although we toil all summer, we simply cant afford a break, because the mortgage eats up the bulk of whatever remains each month. To make matters trickier, schools closed over summer and there’s no one else to mind the children in our absence. Still, at least we take comfort knowing that, through the hot stretch, theyre safe and sound at home, which is truly where they belong!
My mother-in-law offered again to help care for them during the summer. Shes retired now, with plenty of time on her hands, so we accepted. When summer nears and we pack the car to visit my husbands mother in Sussex, we always bring groceries and press a bit of cash into her hand for special treats. She never spends her own money on the children, insisting her pension isnt terribly large. We usually give her notes directlyit still costs us far less than hiring a nanny. Everyone seems rather content with this arrangement.
My husbands brother, who has three little ones of his own, decided one year to drop his children off at their grandmothers as well. His brood, though, were younger and rather unruly, requiring constant attention. Unfortunately, he arrived empty-handed; he didnt bring food or offer any moneyso we had to provide for them out of our own pocket.
It’s completely understandable to feel this way. Time and again Ive asked my husband to raise the matter with his brother, but he refuses, not wanting to stir up an argument. Why should I be the one to bear the burden so someone else can have their children cared for? Whats the best approach to talk to him about this without it spiralling into a row?
