Steve walked out without saying a word. That makes three men whove just upandleft me. No explanation, no goodbye. Wed spent the night together, and in the morning we were chatting about a holiday. Then hes gone, even took his toothbrush. My phones blocked, Im on his blacklist on all the socials. What did I do wrong?
When Victor, my first boyfriend, dumped me, I was a total fool. I waited for him outside his office, guarded the stairwell, and kept sending him endless emails begging for an answer. He told me Id be happy just not with him. I never heard back. I loved him so much I let go of everything, even thought about marriage.
I grew up in a childrens home, an orphan. Contrary to the gossip that says were all wild, many of us are shy about relationships. I was one of those. Victor and I spent a year building a life, saving for a wedding and a posh honeymoon. We lived in a tiny council flat that the state gave me. Then, one day, I was left alone in the flat. Victor vanished, couldnt handle my constant messages, and eventually left town. I cried my eyes out, my heart felt like a driedout biscuit being pecked at by gulls.
My man cant just disappear! my friends shrieked. You must’ve done something, their husbands added, smug as ever. If Id messed up, where? Everything had been perfect.
Arent you chasing some new fling? Aunt Tina, the office cleaner, said with a laugh. If youre worrying, maybe he wasnt yours anyway.
I couldnt shake the feeling for over a year until I met Ian. My heart gave a little jump, those longforgotten butterflies returned. I kept him in the friend zone at first, just in case, but he eventually proposed. I imagined a wedding, a honeymoon in Bali, me as the happiest bride, him soaring on loves wings. Three months later he flew back to his homeland and never returned. He got a divorce through a solicitor, and I never even got a chance to talk to him facetoface.
Then there was Sergey. I fell into such a deep slump I thought about just ending it all. I stopped going to work, stopped eating, only got out of bed when I had to. I was fading away. Out of the blue, a scraping sound at the door brought me back. Steve was back! I didnt know where his energy came from, but I lunged toward the door, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, flinched, then flung the door openhoping for a flood of joy. Nothing. The hallway was empty. Just a glitch, I muttered bitterly. The trains finally arrived.
I craved a strong, sweet cup of tea. My legs trembled, nausea rose in my throat. I shuffled to the kitchen, made tea, and after the second scorching sip a longlost warmth spread through me. I wanted to live again, but my body was so weak it barely obeyed. For a week I fed myself tiny spoonfuls of energy, thanks to the pantrys leftovers. By the weekend I managed to drag a trash bag out of the flat. By the rubbish chute, a scruffy mutt rolled onto the floor, barked, and stared at my bag.
Sorry, little lad, theres nothing for you in there. Wait a minute and Ill get you a sausage and some milk, I whispered. The pups ears perked up and it trotted off to the chute. I peeked insidejust a cardboard box and two metal bowls, empty now. Someone must have been feeding a puppy earlier.
On a whim I grabbed a packet of dog food and a flea collar from the shop. When I got back, the muttnow Id started calling him Wonderwas gone, and the box too.
Hey, whered you go? I called. Silence. A voice from upstairs shouted, I threw him outjust a filthy stray! I went downstairs, searched the whole block, but the little guy was nowhere. My heart sank again. I went back home, appetite vanished. I turned on the telly, flipped channels, and heard a scraping at the door. It wasnt Sergey. Id never felt this kind of dread, not even on my wedding day. The mutt barked again and squeezed back in.
Looks like you saved me, I said, smearing a bit of soap on the pups fur. Turns out Wonder was a tiny, pregnant spitz. The vet said the owner was probably looking for it. No tags, no microchip. I snapped a photo, put up notices, even searched every breed forumnothing.
I kept Wonder. I gave away all the puppies except one that clung to its mum and to me. Life started to sparkle again, but a knot of anger and confusion stayed lodged deep inside. I decided to deal with it once and for all. I drafted fake legal letters, pretending to be a solicitor, and sent them to my exes, claiming Id bequeathed everything I owned to thembecause, as an orphan, Id got nothing else to lose. I figured anyone would bite.
On the appointed day they all gathered in a rented office, waiting for the lawyer. I walked in, locked the door behind me, and sat at the head of the table.
Dont move until you tell me why you left me, I said, no niceties. Lets start with Steve.
They looked stunned, then began talking over each other. Steve spoke first, then the others chimed in. I was in a weird, silent shock, the whole scene feeling absurdly comic.
Because of this you dumped me? I asked.
I couldnt take it any longer! Victor blurted, overly dramatic. Put yourself in my shoes!
It turned out Id been mumbling a name in my sleepalways the same one, a mans name I didnt even know. Zach, they said. Id never met a Zach. No cheating, no affairsjust a ridiculous nightmare.
What if I ask you directly? I glared at the three of them.
I asked you who Zach was, Victor shrugged. You just laughed. The whole thing was absurd. Id been talking in my sleep, and they were accusing me of infidelity.
I even hired a private eye to catch you, Ian laughed. He seemed to find the whole mess amusing. Hed already moved on, found comfort, and now had two daughters.
Right, Ill let you go, Sergey said, still nervous, biting his lip, fists clenched. He looked the most woundedmy first love, the one I thought would be the only one.
Anything else? Ian asked, stretching his legs with a little crack.
Off you go, I muttered, tossing my keys onto the desk. My energy was gone. No answers, just more questions and a burning anger at how their stupidity almost destroyed me. What would I have done? Screamed? Suspected? I didnt know. All I knew was that it wasnt a reason to just walk away.
At home Wonder and the little pupnow I called him Mischieftore at the Christmas tree Id dragged in. New Years was a week away, and I hadnt even decorated the flat. To the exes! I shouted, Ill start fresh! The bewilderment lingered. I wondered if I was still calling Zach in my dreams. Should I see a hypnotherapist? A busted balloon popped off a prickly branch.
Dont ruin everything, I told Mischief, watching the pup try to knock another bauble off the tree. I lifted the tree onto the table carefully, just as the phone rang.
Leave me alone! I sang, then promised to call back. I tripped over my slippers, almost fell, the phone kept cutting out, and Mischief scrambled under my feet, trying to snag another ornament. It was chaos.
When the tree was safe, I poured a dram of whiskysomething I never drink, but I kept a bottle for guests who never show up. I felt a warm buzz, dozed off, and the phone rang again.
Hello, I saw an ad Im looking for my dog, Kira, a voice said, breathless. Is she yours? Can I come over? My heart pounded, I could barely hear anything else. I wasnt going to give Wonder away. I wont hand her over, I snapped. The man laughed, a weird mix of desperation and charm.
He arrived an hour later, shivering, eyes wide. He fell to his knees, burying his face in Wonders fluffy coat, murmuring, Thank you, thank you. Eight months I thought Id lost her forever. I crossed my arms, stubborn.
I wont give the pup away, I said. He looked at me, as if Id done something terrible, and the room filled with a weird, mournful whine. He tried to reason, offering money, a stack of poundsmore than Id ever imagined having. I thought about my empty bank account and the bills piling up.
He finally asked, Can I at least have a look?
I let him. While he inspected the dog, I poured myself another dram, feeling suddenly like an alcoholic. He smiled, shook his head, and said, I suppose Ill just take her back then. He handed me a modest sum for the dogs care, and I accepted, feeling halftrickled with relief.
We sat at the kitchen table, me with a slice of lemon, him with his whisky, both a bit awkward. I tried to explain the stress, he nodded understandingly. Then, as he lifted his glass, he introduced himself: Zach.
I stared, the name that had haunted my nights finally spoken aloud by a total stranger.
And that, my dear, is where the story landsme, a battered heart, a cheeky spitz named Wonder, and a man called Zach walking out of my life with a bottle of whisky and a halfeaten lemon.
