My sister is utterly obsessed with her career, totally absorbed in her work, says Rebecca. Shes forty, single, and doesnt have any children. Shes already bought herself a flat in London and drives her own Mini Cooper. She rarely speaks to me or our parents, but somehow expects them to come through for her.
Rebecca and her older sister have always had a rather chilly relationship, ever since childhoodchalk it up to glaring differences in appearances and personality. Rebeccas the calm, domestic type; she married early, has three lively children, and is mostly focused on running the household smoothly. In contrast, her elder sister is fiercely ambitious, hustling her way up the career ladder. Shes perpetually off on business trips, which means she rarely sees family, especially for the big Sunday roasts at their parents place.
Rebecca keeps close ties with mum and dad, who regularly ferry her kids to school events, help out with childcare, and even throw epic birthday parties and Christmas dos in their roomy three-bedroom flat.
Currently, Rebecca and her clan are squeezed into a poky one-bedroom house. Seeing their daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren living in a bit of a sardine tin, her parents mulled things over and finally decided to offer Rebecca a flat swap. Their old one-bedroom place wasn’t cutting it any more, but expanding it or getting a mortgage themselves wasn’t an optiononly Rebeccas husband is working. Their idea was to help Rebecca out by swapping flats and transferring ownership to her straight away.
What they didnt bank on was the reaction from their eldest. The older sister was less than thrilled, exclaiming, So Rebecca gets the whole flat, and what about me? Am I not your daughter? Mum did her best to explain: Sweetheart, try to see where were coming from. Were not ignoring youyouve managed everything on your own. If you ever need a bigger place, we know youll figure it out. Rebeccas situation is just more pressing. Shes got three kids and a tiny flat. Despite mums reassurance, the big sister felt left out and responded with glorious indignation.
Rebecca jumped in, ever the diplomat: Shes basically sulking like a kid denied sweets. Mums rightwe need more help, and frankly, shes got everything. Wants another holiday in Bali? Fine. Plus, shes the one who chose to keep her distance, leaving calls unanswered for weeks. Shes being selfish.
So, heres the question: Is the older sister simply self-centred for ignoring her siblings needs, or does her independenceand her rights as a daughtermean she deserves equal attention when it comes to the family flat?
