I’ve always felt that my parents treated me unfairly. Looking back at my childhood, I spent most of my time with my grandmother, as my mum and dad both had to work tirelessly just to keep us afloat. I remember them dropping me off at Grans whenever they headed off to their jobs, leaving her to look after me. Honestly, it was my grandmother who really raised me, and to this day, Im impossibly grateful to her.
Now, as an adult, Ive got my own childrentwo daughters, Emily and Grace. My husband and I both hold down two jobs each, trying to set aside enough to buy a flat of our own. It was rough in the beginning, juggling everything, but my parents offered to help out. They took the girls to nursery, picked them up, ferried them to all sorts of events, and generally spent a lot of time with them.
In short, they basically looked after the children while we worked ourselves to the bone. They understood our situation and were quick to give us a hand. But then one day, Mum turned up and told me that she and Dad were planning to let out their flat and move to a little village in the countrysidemiles away from where we lived. I was taken aback. Mum, please, cant you wait just a few more months before you move? Were so close to saving enough for our own place. If you go now, Ill have to quit my job and we wont be able to buy our flat this year, I begged her.
Her reply stunned me. Were not staying here because of you. We want to move and were going. You have to look after your own children. You always rely on other people. Were not obliged to help you, she said. I was shocked and felt rather insulted, though I managed to keep my feelings in check. I couldnt believe that a few months would make such a difference to my parents, so I didnt bother trying to change their minds. I realised in that moment that they simply didnt want to spend time with my girls, and I couldnt force them. My husband and I are used to tackling things on our own, facing whatever comes our way, and getting on with it as best we can.
