Wednesday, 2nd May
I sat perched on my bedroom windowsill, gazing out at the quiet street and waiting for Dad to come home. Its been two years since Mum left us, ever since she moved on and started her new family. Dad explained it to me once, voice heavy with sorrow, but I never really understood why she could leave her own son behind. The truth is, her face and voice are fading from my memory and that frightens me a bit.
Dad tries his hardest to be both Mum and Dad to me. Now that Im ten, there arent many secrets left. He teaches me how to wash up and keep my room tidy. I havent cared much about toys lately. I suppose Im almost grown upor at least thats what I tell myself. Still, its lonely sometimes. I miss having a dog around, but Dad always says no.
Who would look after it, he asks. Hes always working, and Im still at school and apparently, too young.
Instead of a puppy, Dad came home with a woman named Jane. She soon moved in with us. I decided straight away she was unnecessary in our home and avoided talking to her. But Dad started calling her his wife and hoped that I would accept her as my mother.
I made it clear: I didnt need her. I retreated to my room, and thats the way things went. Dad seemed happier around Jane, and I saw them laughing and holding hands. I stayed angry. It was just easier that way.
Dad, I want her to go, I said one evening.
Larry, we cant do that. Lifes awfully hard without a womana wife or a mother.
Summer arrived and I played football in the garden with some new mates. They told me something awfulthat Dad and Jane might put me in an orphanage. The thought terrified me. What if they preferred to have a new baby, a fresh start, and I was just in the way? I decided I needed to prepare myself for anything.
One day, I overheard a fragment of a conversation: Hell be fine there, we ought to send him
That was it for me. I didnt sleep a wink that night, and by morning I was determined to get rid of Jane. I started with little trickssalting her tea, turning on the oven beneath an empty pan. I was cheeky and rude. Jane guessed who was behind it and asked for a chat.
Larry, lets talk, she said, I know youre angry.
I shrugged, Im not angry about anything.
She smiled gently, Larry, Im not here to upset you darling
Im not your darling! I snapped.
She took a deep breath. We rented a cottage for the summer. It was meant as a surprise, but maybe its time to tell you everything. Dad found a puppy, and were picking him up today. You can come with us if you want.
No way! I was stunned but hope flickered inside me.
Jane laughed and pulled me into a hug. She nearly cried, saying, You should be happy, everything will be alright. No need for tears, as she stroked my hair.
When Dad got home, we all went to collect the puppy together. My anger melted away; I began to see Jane differently, not as an intruder but maybe as someone who cared. The puppy slept comfortably in my arms. We were all smiling, for once, and it felt like a genuine family.
