The Little Bird
Valerie! Whats taking you so long? Ive been waiting and waiting! Sit down! said Anna, Valerie Smiths neighbour, wriggling on the bench beneath a blossoming cherry tree, trying to get comfortable.
But what a lovely evening it was! Why stay cooped up indoors? In there its just the telly and Tiddles, and its all so dull. Here in the garden, spring was in full swing. Early, really only April, yet beautifully warm. Even the cherry tree, the one Annas late husband, Stephen, had planted beneath the window, had woken from her winter sleep and burst into blossom. The bench beneath it also made by Stephen was already prime for a good old chat. Anna had given it a fresh lick of paint last week, and now it looked good as new, eager for the usual line-up of neighbours and their nattering. About children, about ailments, about life and love.
What else do women talk about? And though they knew one another through and through, there was always something new to share, a fresh scrap of news to spark the conversation. The kids grew, the ailments multiplied, and as for love well, you never quite have enough of that. It was so rare, really. And so they waited, time and again, for someone to share a revelation, hanging on every word as someone described what it feels like to be truly loved. Just listening seemed to make the heart lighter. Even when your own heart is a desert, so long as love exists anywhere, the world stays bright and warm.
Anna Louise, known simply as Annie to the neighbours, had known Valerie for as long as shed known herself. Over half a century spent living on the same landing. As girls, their mothers never bothered to lock the doors no need to run back and forth with keys; everyone knew the children would either be in one flat or the other. Of course, as they got older, they remembered the locks, especially after Annie and Valerie went off on their first grand adventure, seeking their fortunes.
They were about six then.
It was Annies grandmother whod come to visit, telling the girls that the key to happiness in life was to catch a bird of happiness by the tail and keep it close. Then everything would work out. Life would be smooth and easy, and everyone would be content.
They didnt quite understand about life, but the everyone around you being happy bit stuck. Who wouldnt want their parents to stop bickering and instead get along? So they decided to go and find this magical bird.
Annie was adamant she knew exactly where the bird lived in the next street, at the house of a particularly unpleasant old man with a creaky voice. Hed sometimes bring the bird out to the garden a beautiful, colourful creature, loud and exotic. They were sure it was the bird of happiness. Even at the zoo, which the girls visited with their parents on Sundays, theyd never seen anything like it.
The girls prepared thoroughly for their expedition.
They found an old cage on Annies balcony her grandmother had once transported a rabbit in it from the countryside.
After all, you needed somewhere to put the bird, didnt you? They couldnt very well hold it by the tail the whole time; their arms would get tired, and then how would they hold all the ice cream that was bound to materialise once theyd found happiness?
They brought a bit of bread and biscuits, unsure of the birds tastes. Valerie, after some thought, also popped a sweet into her pocket. You never know and surely everyone loves sweets! It would be awful if their bread and biscuits werent to the birds liking.
They werent in any rush this was a serious mission! Annies grandmother had already gone home, promising to take her for the whole summer. Annies parents were getting ready for their holiday, planning to travel with the neighbours, two families squeezing into one car to save money. Luckily the seaside was only a few hours away barely time for a nap. The house they rented there was sturdy, though old, with a big garden, swings, and the sea just beyond. Annie was excited for the trip, and for her visit to her grandmas.
But she felt sorry for Valerie. Valerie had no grandparents. Not a one! How was it possible a child without a grandma to spoil her behind mum and dads back, tell wonderful long stories (not just The Runaway Biscuit stories rushed between chores), or crochet a sunhat with a pretty ribbon?
Annie thought if they caught the bird, maybe Valerie would get a grandma too. Perhaps one from the same village as Annies own. Then theyd spend the summer together. It was worth doing!
A day before their seaside holiday, the girls told their mums they were off next door to play, and snuck out, quietly shutting the door behind them, stifling their giggles as they slipped down the stairs.
They padded across their familiar garden, then to the next, and soon were standing, slightly out of breath, by the drab, grey house where the bird supposedly lived.
But the garden was empty, quiet the heat of the day had driven everyone inside or off to work.
The girls exchanged glances. How on earth would they find the bird now? There was no one about, no one to ask. Valerie began to pout, scrunching her nose as though tears werent far away. But Annie was never one for tears without reason. If something had to be done, it had to be done. Otherwise, thered be no grandma for Valerie, no box of ice creams, and no new matching polka-dot dresses. If they couldnt find the bird, their parents would likely start rowing again
Why naughty bird, though? Annie reasoned that if it were any good, itd be perched in the tree outside their door, not forcing them to search for it! But it wasnt there, was it?
Annie, casting an attentive look about, grabbed Valeries hand, and off they went to ring some doorbells. No point standing idle! Theyd try knocking maybe someone inside could say where the bird lived.
So many flats, and that was just one block! Some didnt answer no one home. Others shouted at them for playing around.
But Annie and Valerie kept going, knocking wherever they couldnt reach the buzzer.
Where does the bird of happiness live? theyd ask.
Adults what strange people they are! A simple question why couldnt they just answer? But no, they shouted, waved their arms about, even threatened to smack them. The girls quickly scurried away from one particularly cross lady but made sure to remember her green door with the odd handle never knock there again! The bird of happiness could never live with someone so mean.
But they were lucky with one flat. The door swung open to reveal a boy a little older than themselves, who just shrugged at their question and said, Come in!
The bird wasnt there either. But there was so much that was interesting, Annie and Valerie soon forgot the time, and even why theyd come.
They examined scary masks hanging on the wall, pressed their ears to giant shells and listened to the roaring sea within, and admired a great model ship, sails billowing, tiny sailors climbing the rigging.
My dad and I built that. The St. Anna.
Thats me! Annie shouted, grinning, finger hovering above the ships sails.
Your names Anna? Lovely name! Thats what my mums called.
And where is she?
Mum? At work, shell be back soon. Why are you two out alone? Wont you get in trouble?
It was only then the girls remembered the bird, realised it must be dinnertime and their mums would be searching for them, and how grim it was to be stuck in the corner for ages because Mum was angry.
Valerie! We have to go!
Annie grabbed her friend and dashed for the door, forgetting all about the cage.
Wait! the boy caught up with them in the hall Here!
The feathers were so beautiful the girls froze, mouths open in wonder, afraid to touch them.
What are they?
Peacock feathers! Mum brings them home she works at the zoo. Take them!
The girls barely breathed as they accepted the delicate gift, and forgetting to say goodbye, ran all the way home.
There, all chaos awaited!
Their frantic mothers dashed about the garden, shouting their daughters names. Fathers were out by the front, anxiously smoking as they waited for the police, who told them to stay put until further instruction.
On seeing the girls, Valeries mum gave a gasp and collapsed to the ground, right in the middle of the playground.
Found you
There were tears, kisses, and the threat of the belt. Thankfully, there wasnt really time to properly punish them, as everyone had places to be.
And so, just a few days later, the girls, sat swinging on the garden swing of their holiday house, shifted awkwardly trying to get comfy, whispering:
Val, you know, we dont need any bird.
Why not?
Because Grandma said real happiness is being loved.
And?
Well! If we werent loved, would they have cried so much when we got lost? Would they have been frightened that wed never come back? Right?
Right
So were already happy, arent we?
I suppose so.
Im sure we are.
What about our parents?
Theyve not argued once in two days, have they?
No
So, they can manage not to quarrel. They just dont always want to. No bird is going to fix that. See?
Yes.
That summer was one of their happiest memories.
Anna Louise always looked back on her life thankful that she had someone to share these memories with someone who could help fill in the blanks. After all, its easier to remember together.
And Valerie remembered everything better than Annie ever did. Perhaps it was because she was calmer? Annie was all quicksilver lively, always darting about. But Valerie would sit, think things through, and quietly make her way, mentally ordering her thoughts. Haste makes waste, as the saying goes. Valerie remembered everything as if it were yesterday.
When Annie met her future husband, it took her a while to recognise him. They dated over a month before she ended up at his home.
St. Anna
The model ship stood in its old place, right where two little girls had marvelled at it years before. And, though they were now twenty-three and Valerie was already married Annie felt just like that little girl again, scared to touch the sailor lest she break him and ruin everything.
She would, after their wedding, dig out the feather from her favourite book, where shed kept it safe all these years, and show it to her husband.
Remember this?
And shed laugh as he tried to recall what happened so long ago.
And there was happiness. A long, nearly thirty-year stretch of it. With worries and chores; the first steps of their daughter, and then their son; with illness, when Stephen, by sheer determination and the best doctors, kept Annie by his side, holding her hand as the future hovered at the doorway, too fearful to enter. And then came the day when time itself stopped, when Annie simply forgot how to breathe. Her air, her life, left with Stephen. And as Valerie, there at that moment, seized her shoulders, slapped her cheeks to bring her round, she hugged her like a child:
Stay strong, Annie! Youve got your children
And Annie came round. Happiness remained. Not the whole, radiant thing it had once been, but still there the gift Stephen had left. Even with adult children, losing mother straight after father would be too hard. You need someone to lean on. What did Grandma always say?
As long as theres someone standing between child and sky, the childs not an orphan that childs lucky
How right she was! So living must continue for the childrens sake, for the grandchildrens joy. Even when everyone later set up their own homes, moved for work and the rightness of independence, Annie knew she was still needed and loved. She could pack a bag, buy gifts, and visit, to son or daughter alike always welcomed. She could wait for school holidays, when the grandchildren would fill her home anew, a happy chaos, sleepless nights listening to their little snores. Her old bed the one shed shared with her husband wouldnt lie empty, and even her eldest granddaughter, shy at first, would nestle among the little ones and listen to the bedtime story, pretending, as always, not to know how it ended.
And, with all that, the heart would rest easy again. The quiet joy would return, light as a feather perhaps not as beautiful as the one her husband once gave her, but no less desired.
Not everyone is so lucky. However hard some wish, they never get their portion of happiness from the sky. But Valerie and Annie were lucky. They never caught the magical bird of happiness, but they didnt lose their chance at joy either. Theyd understood, somehow, even as girls, what happiness meant to a woman. For them, it was simple: if the children were well, the rest would sort itself out.
Valerie, for her part, fought for her happiness. She might have been childless she was unable to have a child with her beloved Anthony. They loved one another so dearly, always together, never tiring of each other, always missing one another when apart. Neighbours would moan about their husbands, but Valerie kept her peace partly, perhaps, to keep her happiness to herself, but mostly because she had nothing but good to say about Anthony.
They were truly at one.
Annie used to think such tales were make-believe. But then she met Stephen, and all it took was a look at Valerie to know when love was real.
Of course, not everything was perfect in their family. Valerie married into a large clan Anthony had a legion of aunts, and two sisters both as difficult as could be. Nothing Valerie did was ever quite right. Stand the wrong way, sit the wrong way, offer the wrong biscuits somehow, she was always at fault.
Her mother-in-law, Mary, was a wonderfully kind woman. The only one who welcomed Valerie straight away and never reproached her. How her own daughters had turned out so tricky was anyones guess. Shed raised her son well.
A gentle soul, Mary couldnt say no to anyone, couldnt scold the slightest thing would have her in tears. Valerie felt for her, called her Mum almost from day one.
So they were all together, all close.
There was such a hubbub when Anthonys mum sold her place and moved nearby. The daughters werent happy, but Mary didnt move in with Valerie and Anthony (as Anthony suggested) but bought a tiny place next door. She said she didnt want to intrude their own flat was only two rooms, after all and she knew enough about Valerie and Anthonys dreams not to interfere.
Mary, like so many, had known how hard it was to keep a marriage together. Her husband had left her years ago, run off without explanation, although he still helped out. Not the same as having your lifes companion anyway. Valerie saw how deeply it hurt. Even after many years, pain lingers. Imagine: to spend a lifetime with someone and then be told to make space for someone new.
Turned out the old was no fault of hers. Simply, her husband had found new love, somehow believing it neednt replace the old. A right sultan, he fancied himself! Mary wasnt interested in being one of a harem, but at least she finally found her own peace. She even thanked Valerie, and took charge of her re-started life.
And it was Mary who helped Valerie and Anthony become parents. Mary, after decades at the county hospital, took a job as a ward nurse in a maternity hospital and there she saw her chance to bring a grandson into her life.
Valerie and Anthony thought everything through, did everything by the book. Valerie had always been thoughtful, but without her mother-in-law, she couldnt have managed. They left for nearly a year knowing the family would never accept an adopted child if they watched it happen. So they returned, newly made parents, without explanation. Annie knew it was the one time Valerie ever cut off questioning. The family grumbled, but seeing how their own Mary doted on the boy, they fell silent.
Valeries sisters-in-law suspected something, but didnt dare say anything. It was more Mary than Valerie they feared Mary had changed. If anyone said anything, shed simply press her lips tight and hang up the phone. Shed put all her heart into the new little one: fussing, helping Valerie, certain it would save her sons little family and their happiness. What sort of woman or mother cant see the rightness in that?
So life went on. Valerie had her husband, and her son. Annie had her own family.
All was well!
They were always together, holidaying, their children growing up side by side. Doors left wide open, no need to lock all kids running between the houses (though, of course, careful never to lose them, remembering the bird escapade).
Then Stephen passed, leaving emptiness behind; dreams of spending old age together withered away.
Not long after, Anthony died too. Never a sick man, suddenly struck by a blood clot, right there at the hospital where he worked no one caught it. Valerie seemed to wither after that. Now it was Annies turn to stand strong and keep her friend from sinking into grief.
Youve got your son, Valerie! Your parents! Mary Louise! You cant let this defeat you! Theres no one but us now, so its up to you. What would Anthony say if he could see you drowning in tears? He loved you so much! Would you throw away his love now? Thats not right, Valerie Anthony wouldnt approve
Maybe it was those words, or maybe Valerie simply realised how many people still needed her, but slowly she pulled herself together. Like Annie, she learned to live again, keeping her love safe in her heart.
She raised their son well. Paul went to university, became an officer, constantly travelling between postings, but he never forgot his mother, bringing the grandchildren twice a year, or his wife, Susan, came instead. They were the best of friends, Valerie and Susan. Valerie had learned, by then, what makes a wise mother-in-law, and fully accepted her sons choice.
There were questions at first.
It was only natural Paul hadnt just brought a bride home, but her child from a previous relationship. Susans husband had left her midway through her pregnancy, vanishing abroad and never returning. At least, later, he did the decent thing: signed away his parental rights so Paul could legally adopt the boy.
Valerie didnt hesitate. When Paul first brought Susan round, she shooed him aside, scooped up the two-year-old toddler, and said:
Hello! Im your Grandma Val! Fancy a biscuit? No? What about a look under the tree? Father Christmas left you some presents there. I saw them myself! Come on, lets go see!
It doesnt take much for a mothers heart to melt. Accept her child as your own, and youll have her loyalty forever.
Valerie knew that truth long ago, and finally got to live it out.
Which is why Susan is like a daughter now, and the eldest grandchild though not by blood is every bit as much hers, and always the first in her heart.
Val, when should we head off to the allotment? Surely its time! Look how warm its got! Annie tipped her head back, searching for cherry blossom in the fading light.
This weekend. Just got to finish washing the windows first.
Oh, goodness! Id forgotten Easters early this year. I really need to get everything sorted!
Your lot coming to stay?
For two days. Just passing through. The eldest is thinking of applying to university in London, so theyre coming to see whats what. Theyll pop in now, and on the way back they might stay longer. The younger two might be left with me for a fortnight still to confirm. And yours?
Not until summer. Too busy with school at the moment cant leave until term finishes. So itll be ages yet, or so it feels.
Only six weeks!
I know! Feels like a lifetime when youre waiting for something nice, doesnt it? Time just drags and drags, but then, when the moment comes, it flashes by in a second, a warm, gentle instant, and then its gone. But you know what, Annie?
What?
For just that second, Id give up everything. However brief, you live off those memories, running your fingers over them like pearls on a string. Happiness is like that, isnt it? Theres never too much, but the only time its too little is when you cant see what you already have.
Too true! Remember when we went looking for the bird of happiness?
Of course! I remember it well! Valerie chuckled, folding her arms across her ample chest. Couldnt sit down properly for a whole week after Mum was so worried, Dad gave me a proper talking-to! And you, standing there, grinning away as if butter wouldnt melt!
Indeed! But you know something, Val?
What?
I reckon we actually caught that bird by the tail after all. We just didnt notice when, but its been flying with us all the time. Otherwise, how do you explain it getting everything women wish and pray for, but rarely get? Look at our families, our husbands, our wonderful kids and grandkids! Can you say were not happy?
I can say youre right! We ought to thank our little bird, and hope she flaps her wings, flicks her tail, and brings happiness to all those we loveValerie squeezed Annies hand, her eyes bright in the dusk, tears caught on a laugh. No magic bird ever gave us more than what we found here. Growing old with a friend like you is a secret wish come true.
A cool breeze rattled petals loose from the cherry tree. They drifted down, settling in Annies hair and onto Valeries lap. The garden filled with the scent of spring: warm earth, blooming cherry, and fresh promise.
Well have to mind the bench tomorrow, Annie said, brushing a petal from her dress. Its nearly time for stories and jam sandwiches with the little ones again.
Let them chatter, Valerie smiled. Let them chase the happiness they think is just over the fence. One day, theyll look back and see it was always right here.
Annie nodded, heart full. Well remind them, if they forget.
Side by side, the two friends watched the light fade and the first stars appear above, silent witnesses to a thousand shared evenings. Somewhere in the shadows, a nightingale began to singa wild, sweet song. The two women listened, letting the melody carry their memories aloft, higher than the cherry blossom, out into the wide and welcoming sky.
And for that moment, happinessold, gentle, and ever loyalsat between them, invisible but real as the night air. The bird was with them, after all.
