HOW TOM INTRODUCED HIS GIRLFRIEND TO HIS MUM
Mum, this is my girlfriend Sophie Tom tried his best to sound casual, though it was clear he was nervous. And, well we wanted to, um you know sort of
Yes, Tom, I know what you wantno secret there. His mum gave Sophie a once-over, her eyes sharp and curious. But does your girlfriend want the same thing? Sophie, do you know my son well?
All too well, Sophie replied boldly, without a hint of embarrassment. Like the back of my hand.
Excuse me? His mum was so startled she switched to a more formal tone. Is that how ladies speak these days?
Whats wrong with it? Its a common phrase in Englishto know someone like the back of your hand. But lets not dwell on Tom. Shouldnt we get to know each other? For all we know, we might not even get on.
What do you mean? Mum asked, thrown off guard.
I mean, well probably spend many evenings together, waiting up for Tom while hes out with his mates, wondering if hell ever come back. And listening to his drunken snoring together.
And how exactly will that include me? Flustered, his mum tried to regain control. Youll have your own rooms I do hope so.
Yes, but youll still be pacing the hallway, worrying. Thats just what mums do.
Oi, hang on, Tom interjected, baffled by where this conversation was going. What are you saying about me?
Shush! the two women answered in unison.
So, Mary Thompson, Id like to know are you the type to throw plates? Tom never answered that one for me.
Throw plates? Heavens, no! Mum widened her eyes. Are women supposed to do that?
Oh, youd be surprised, Sophie grinned. Some women give their husbands a real run for their money!
Oh, goodness Mum hid her face in her hands. Such language Such drama
Oh come off it, Sophie said, winking at Toms mum. You can admit itsometimes you must have wanted to give your husband, or Tom, a good telling-off, at least?
Well Mum nearly confessed before catching herself. No, never.
I can see youd like to seem well-bred, Sophie smiled, but Im not convinced. Raising a lad like Tom, and never wanting to give him a smack? Hard to believe! Did you ever give him a whack when he was little?
Absolutely not! For once, Mum was telling the truth.
Oi Tom tried to protest again, but the chorus was too quick:
Quiet!
You spoiled him, Mary Thompson, Sophie patted Toms backside. A bottom always getting into trouble needs a bit of discipline! But honestly, your Toms a good man. Might just need a slight redirection now and then. By the way, Marymay I call you Mary? How about a cup of tea? Best chats always happen over tea. I even brought a Victoria sponge for the occasion
Later that evening, when Toms dad arrived home from work, Mary made a proud announcement right in front of Tom:
Darling! Our Toms finally getting married!
Blimey! I dont believe it! Dad exclaimed, clearly delighted.
Calm down! Im only thinking about it, Tom corrected his parents.
No, Tom, his mum said in her best no-arguments voice. This time, youre definitely tying the knot. And if you change your mind, Ill just make Sophie my daughter instead.
Mum, shes not an orphan. Tom grinned. Shes got her own parents.
No matter, his mum replied firmly. Otherwise, Ill send you back to the hospital and tell them they gave me the wrong child all those years ago! And your father will back me up.
If I have to, I swear I will! said Dad, shaking his fist at Tom, barely containing his laughter.
And so, over tea and cake, Tom learned that family isnt just about bloodbut about opening your heart to new people, embracing their quirks, and having a sense of humour along the way. Because, in the end, love and family are built on acceptance and a generous slice of Victoria sponge.
