So, guess what happened? Were having guests over. Yep, just for two days!
Out of the blue, I get a message from this distant relative of mine. Well, honestly, I had no clue who she even was at first thats how distant were talking. The conversation started with her cheerily announcing, Sophie, were coming to stay! Already sorted our train tickets! I just stared at my phone, trying to remember if Id ever met this woman before. Total blank.
Erm Im sorry, who is this? I asked, clearly confused.
Sophie, dont be silly! Its me your Aunt Margaret! she giggled down the line.
No matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldnt place an Aunt Margaret. But just to be polite, I asked what she wanted.
We just thought wed pop down for a visit! You live by the sea, dont you? Only for a couple of days its just Jamie, my son, he really needs it
After a quick chat, I gathered that Jamie, allegedly her young son, needed the sea air for his health. At least, thats what she said. Claiming they wouldnt be any trouble, she promised to clean up and help around the house. With some reluctance, I said yes, but my gut told me Id regret it.
Thanks, Sophie! Well be there Friday! she chirped and hung up before I could change my mind. I sighed and turned to my twelve-year-old son, Oliver.
Mum, whos coming to stay now? he grumbled.
Some Aunt Margaret, apparently.
You should ring Granny and ask who on earth she is! Oliver wasnt too fond of these random guests, mostly because they always promised to be helpful but rarely were.
Id been refusing visitors lately, but if it was for a childs health, I thought, well, maybe this one will be different. It was only for two days after all.
A bit about us three years ago, after my divorce, I bought a little house in Brighton by the seaside. I moved here with Oliver, and suddenly I was discovering all sorts of family members Id never heard of. At first, it was nice meeting new people, but I quickly realised most just wanted a free holiday. Half of them wouldnt even wash a cup after themselves, and some thought they could boss me around in my own home! Your house, your job to clean and feed everyone, theyd say, like I was running a B&B.
I soon put my foot down, telling people they couldnt just show up. Some still did, but I wouldnt even open the door. There were some decent relatives, but very few.
Anyway, I took Olivers advice and phoned my mum, who still lives up in Oxford and visits us a couple of times a year. After catching up about life, I asked about Aunt Margaret and her son.
Mum sounded puzzled, Never heard of them maybe theyre from your dads side? Ill ask him, but I doubt it.
So, I just had to wait for the mystery relatives to turn up.
Sure enough, two days later, there they were: Aunt Margaret quite a large woman with cunning eyes and Jamie, not the little boy Id pictured, but a hulking fifteen-year-old. As it turned out, he didnt need any sort of seaside treatment Margaret just fancied a cheap holiday. Classic.
The first thing she said was, Why didnt you meet us at the train station? My dad hadnt recognised her either.
Mum doesnt have to do that, Oliver mumbled next to me.
Margaret ignored him, giving him a sharp look.
Sophie dear, where can we put our bags? Which rooms are ours?
I frowned. Just the one room for you both the house isnt big enough for separate rooms.
Oh, but someone said you had a lovely big house right by the sea
No idea who told you that, I replied bluntly. If youre not happy, Im sure there are plenty of hotels around. I dont want any trouble.
Margaret immediately switched to being overly friendly. Sophie, dont send us away! Im tired from the journey, darling niece. Lets just get inside.
With that, she bustled in and Jamie followed, dragging their luggage. Oliver shot me a look. Told you this was a bad idea, Mum.
Its only two days, I tried to convince both of us.
Thankfully, the rest of the day passed quietly enough. Margaret and her son went to bed early, grumbling about having to share a room. I did have other empty rooms, but they were being redecorated. I even suggested the sitting room, but they refused, so I left them to it and went to bed.
It should have been a peaceful night, but at six in the morning, I was woken by a racket. Im a night owl and hate early mornings; Oliver knows this and always keeps quiet, sometimes going out to see his friends in the neighbourhood.
Whats happening? I yawned, wandering bleary-eyed into the lounge.
Nothing, Sophie! Cant find my swimsuit, said Margaret, tossing clothes everywhere.
Could you not do that in your room? Quietly?
Theres no space in there! And I was trying to be quiet.
Turned out the clattering was Jamie in the garden, banging on a metal bucket, waiting for his mum.
Could you please tell him to stop before the neighbours have a go at me? I said pointedly.
She grunted but finally called him over.
Now wide awake, I headed to the kitchen.
Where are you off to? Margaret asked.
To make myself a coffee, I snapped.
Oh good! Ill have a big mug, loads of milk, three sugars, please!
I stopped in my tracks and looked her dead in the eye. Margaret, not sure what youre used to, but this is my home. You woke me up at the crack of dawn, caused a commotion, and now youre barking orders for coffee?
She shrugged, Well, its not exactly early. And its Margaret Jane, if you want to know my middle name. So, about that coffee?
Its self-service here!
Great start to the day. While I sipped my coffee and tried to relax, Oliver came in and patted me on the shoulder. Told you, Mum, theyre so cheeky its written all over their faces. Not too late to kick them out, you know!
One more day, Ollie. We can manage.
Barely morning and theyve already woken me up.
We heard footsteps and quickly stopped talking as Margaret stomped in.
No coffee made? she complained.
Mum doesnt have to make you anything! Make your own! Oliver retorted.
Sophie, havent you taught your child any manners? He should keep quiet when grown-ups are speaking.
Dont talk to my son like that, I said, getting a bit heated.
Im not a child, Oliver shot back.
Margaret grumbled and grudgingly made herself a cup. Then she flashed me a smile. Sophie, will you show us the way to the beach?
I replied, Just head down the lane and youll see the coast easy.
She switched to using you, so I didnt bother being formal either.
Youre not coming?
Oliver glanced at me, and I could tell he had zero desire to spend a morning at the seaside with them.
No, well go later. Why dont you two go on ahead?
Whats for lunch? she asked.
When we had decent guests who chipped in, I cooked for them. Otherwise, it was just me and Oliver. I wasnt running a charity kitchen.
Well eat at home, you two can grab something at the café down the road.
Cant you make us something? I dont really like café food, Margaret pleaded.
I can for a price. Money doesnt grow on trees, I said honestly.
She sniffed and said primly, Fine, well eat at the café. At least foods better there.
Oliver snorted, but didnt argue.
The rest of their stay was just bickering and little mishaps. By the second day, it became clear they had no intention of leaving. When I reminded Margaret it was time to go, she just laughed, Oh come on, Sophie! Youre not kicking family out, are you? Weve got a week off. Well just stay a bit longer. Its not much to ask!
Honestly, Id had enough. I was up at the crack of dawn for two days, my nerves were shot, and I really didnt like their attitude especially Margarets. Jamie was just a teenage boy, a bit of a pest but nothing criminal. Neighbours were starting to complain about the noise.
Yes, I am asking. This is my house and I have friends coming soon. You agreed to two days and thats what youve had. Please pack your things and leave in the morning.
Margarets face was a picture. How can you treat family like this? Where will we go? To the train station? What do you expect us to do?
Jamie just looked embarrassed.
Actually, no one in my family even remembers you. Youve got until the morning, and if you break or take anything, Ill call the police.
I walked out of the room, relieved. The next morning, Margaret and Jamie stomped off, moaning loudly, but left in the end. After that, I swore never again to let these so-called relatives into my home not even for two days!
