Who would want her, anyway?
“Chloe, what’s this? Did you really throw away Mum’s pickled gherkins?”
“Of course I did, Will,” sighed Chloe. “They went off ages ago… they were all squishy. You couldnt even eat them.
“Its not a big deal. You could have just thrown out the top ones and washed the others; nothing to it. Mum and I always ate stuff from bulging jars and nothing ever happened. Theyd only stood about for a bit. You cant be wasting food like that, Chlo, it costs money!”
With his chin held high and a disapproving glare, William marched past his wife, muttering something under his breath.
Chloe sighed. She used to find this endearing once. She accidentally thought back to their first dates…
Walking along the park path, a tall lad in a crisp white shirt was beaming, holding a bouquet of wildflowersjust as Chloe liked.
“Will!” exclaimed the girl. “Did you really go to a field? Pick them yourself?”
“Yeah,” nodded Will. “Roses are boring and expensive anyway. Lets do something bettergo on the rides together!
Chloe grinned, following after him…
Back in the present, Chloe shook her head and listened: William was actually washing the gherkins. Nothing surprised her anymore. She used to think he avoided cafés because he liked walks, not because he didnt want to spend money. And they chose the Ferris wheel, not because it was the priciest ride in the park, but because he was being thoughtful. Didnt want her getting shaken up unnecessarily…
But now, after years, the wedding, and two children later, Chloe saw it all clearly. All she could do was put up with it. Or rebel. Silence was her chosen weapon.
Chloe went to the kitchen to plate up dinner for the twins, herself, and William. Buckwheat, beef patties, and saladthe usual. Nothing extravagant ever passed through their home.
“Will, what are you doing?” Chloe asked wearily. William was by the childrens table, cutting up their food.
“Theyre only five. Half a beef patty will do.”
With the utmost seriousness, William sliced a patty in one plate, took the other off their sons plate and popped it back in the pan.
“Are you serious?”
“You really think so?”
“Yes, Will.”
“Thats right. Were the same as them,” he declared and proceeded to cut up Chloes own patty. “Its beef, you know, and its not cheap. Why are you looking at me like that? Honestly, too much meat’s not healthy, especially fried. And next time, do them steamedthe oils costing a fortune lately and the pan’s always a nightmare to clean afterwards.
“The kids dont like steamed food.”
“Theyll warm to it. Its healthier,” he said firmly, scraping the meat and heading out. Chloe stared at the cut-up patties on the plates and realised her patience was, in fact, finite…
By the weekend, Williams mum, Margaret Anne, had returned. In comparison, William seemed extravagant.
“Chloe, my dear, come see what Ive brought! Treats for the children, you lucky lotgranny never comes empty-handed!”
Chloe, only minutes in from work, sighed, muttered a curse under her breath, and went to greet her mother-in-law.
Margaret Anne handed Chloe a carrier bag.
“Margaret, these are girls clothes,” Chloe peered in. “Will and I have boys.”
“Oh, whats the difference?” Margaret Anne waved her off, pulling out a Hello Kitty vest. “Look, its a pink catso what? Alex likes cats. And theyre little still. Who cares if its pink, red, or blue?”
“Right, I understand, thank you, Margaret. Well sort through it later,” said Chloe, forcing a smile and setting the bag aside. Later, shed throw it away. Not only were the clothes for girls, but they were in awful condition. Youd be embarrassed to use them for gardening.
“Will, when can we finally move out? I cant bear living with your mum anymore,” Chloe said quietly, shutting the door.
“Dont be daft. When we save enough for a mortgage.”
“Will, lets just get one nowfor heavens sake, well only finally save up when were retired.”
“Weve talked about this. A mortgage is a noose, you knowits all those extra payments. Besides, living with Mum is practical. She does the cooking, cleaning, puts up chutneys for winter…”
“Are you actually serious?” Chloe nearly shouted, then lowered her voice. “The children still sleep in the same room as your mum! Theyre five now, but soon theyll need their own space. What are they supposed to do? We cant even have a bit of privacythere are no locks on the doors, and Margaret Anne wont let us fit any. Says its not practical!”
“Calm down and turn out the lights. When the bill comes this month, were going to be gobsmacked.”
Chloe groaned loudly and buried her face in the pillow. She couldnt take it any longer.
The row erupted the next day. William wouldnt let the boys watch “Bedtime Hour” because apparently they’d already had enough tellyand it was a waste of money anyway That was the final straw for Chloe.
“Thats itI cant do this anymore!” she cried. “Im leaving, and Im taking the kids! Were going to my mumsat least there they’ve got their own room.”
She grabbed the suitcase with one hand, and, with the other, ushered the boys to the front door.
“Alex, Sam, come on!”
“Chlo Where are you going?” William stood frozen. “What about us? Our family? I thought everything was fine You seemed happy enough.”
“For six years, Will, I put up with you and your mum. We buy shampoo in gigantic tubs, toilet rolls are always the cheapest kind, and instead of real toys, the kids play with whatever’s left from you and your brother! I cant do it anymore. I want a proper childhood for the boys, not this. Id rather be called wasteful than live like you lot.”
Margaret Anne grabbed her chest theatrically, stopping William from following his wife.
“Oh, William, my heart Just leave it. Shell come to her senses. Shell be back. Anyway, whod want her, two little ones in tow…”
And William believed, truly believed, shed come back.
“Chlo, what are you doing?” asked Lydia Foden, Chloes mum. “Just chuck the teabag and get a new one.”
Chloe snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her hands. Out of habit, she was making a third cup of tea with the same teabag.
“How did you ever live like that? Ive told you for ages to get out. Thats not lifethats survival. Its not normal, love”
“Yeah,” Chloe jerked her head in agreement, pausing as she opened the fridge. There was cheesea proper one, not the processed sort. Sausage, meat, yoghurts… “I ought to hide the sweets or the boys will scoff the lot.”
“Let them. Thats why I buy them.”
“Better hide them, thoughtheyre not used to having sweets in reach, theyll make themselves ill.”
Lydia nodded, shot her daughter a sympathetic look, and gently stroked her shoulder.
Night fell. Chloe climbed from bed and wandered into the kitchen, unable to sleep. The bed was too soft; it didnt creak. The bed shed shared with William was ancient.
Chloe opened the fridge and stared in. Proper foodmilk that wasnt the cheapest, real yoghurt instead of cheap live milk, cheese you didnt have to ration. She cut a chunky wedge of bread and made herself a thick sausage and cheese sandwichso big it barely fit her mouth, but my word, it tasted glorious And finally, there was no one looking over her shoulder, telling her how thick the sausage slice should be, or that cheese was for breakfast only… She grabbed a yoghurt and drank straight from the bottledelicious!
“Good heavens, how stupid I was It feels so good, not constantly pinching pennies”
How could she have endured it all those years? How did she live by his rules and routines? Never eating what she wanted, never doing up the house, wearing her mother-in-laws cast-offs, wearing the same boots for five years. How?
A few weeks on, the doorbell went. Chloe had just got upit was Saturday. Mum had let her sleep in and taken the boys to the park.
“Who is it? Will?! What are you doing here?”
Her husband stood on the step.
“Chlo, come back. Mum and Iwell well cut back on the pennypinching. Honestly, its not right to waste money, but well listen to you more and I love you, Chlo. Come homewere a family, for the kids’ sake…”
“No! No! And againno! Im not coming back. The boys have their own room now, and so do I. They can watch cartoons for more than quarter of an hour a day, and I can as well. They eat full servings, not half a patty. They can help themselves to sweets. And we dont wash plastic bags, for goodness sake. And I finally bought a proper dressing gown for myself. You hear that? I want a normal life. Its my money, and Ill spend it how I see fit. That’s the end of it. Goodbye. The solicitors will be in touch!”
Chloe slammed the door and burst into tears. She wasnt quite sure whyprobably from regret, or self-pity. Yes, shed have to work harder to provide for the boys, but she was ready for it. Ready for anythinganything but going back. That life was not, and never would be, hers.
