All settled in nicely, havent you?
Liz, you havent forgotten that were going to Mums for her birthday on Sunday, have you? asked her husband over breakfast.
Forgotten? If only! Youve gone on about it all week, love, and your mother herself has rung at least four times to remind me. Id need amnesia to miss this one These words flashed through Lizs mind, but outwardly she just smiled and said,
I remember, Henry. Of course I do. She sighed ever so quietly. Lately, seeing her mother-in-law had turned into little more than an exercise in endurance. Patricia had a face that could curdle milk at fifty paces and Liz had honestly never worked out what she was meant to have done wrong. She loved her husband, had produced lovely grandchildren, and her housekeeping wasnt half-bad but it turns out you really cant please everyone.
Shed met Henry in the most 21st-century way imaginable: a group about sports nutrition on Facebook. Liz was after some vitamins; Henry wanted protein bars. They started chatting, then he popped up in her inbox, liking all her photos, until their online banter spilled into real life. Seven months later, wedding bells.
Ill be a proper dad, Liz! Honestly. I want lots of kids. Four! Two boys, two girls. Raising just one is a recipe for disaster makes them selfish. With a brood, theyll have to learn to get on.
Oh, come off it, Liz laughed. Youre an only child and youre hardly a narcissist.
Ah, but Im exceptional, he winked, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
The first time Liz met Henrys mother, Patricia, she got the full schoolmarm once-over, right down to the severe eyebrows and the glare. Over dinner, Patricia grilled Liz about her family, her degree, and when she discovered Liz was a student from a large family in Liverpool, with just her mum looking after everyone in a tiny semi, Patricias disappointment was so palpable you couldve spread it on toast. She just stared glumly at her mash for the rest of the meal.
The wedding do was the proper event, in a local country house with a fancy sit-down meal. Lizs mother and four siblings came down from Liverpool lively, lovely, and definitely not quiet. The party was loud and joyful. Liz and Henry looked the picture of happiness, inseparable all night.
Two months later, the big news a baby on the way! Henry was delighted beyond words, hyperventilating with excitement. Lizs siblings bombarded her with cheerful mayhem, and her mum was beside herself. When they broke the news to Patricia, the reaction was barely more animated than her mashed potato.
Couldnt you have waited a bit, done some travelling? You two are barely grown up yourselves. What sort of parents will you make?
Oh Mum, come on! Youre going to be a grandma! Isnt that wonderful? And Ill be a dad imagine! Henry beamed, twirling his mother round the room. Patricia just swatted him away, as if he were a persistent gnat.
In due course, Liz had a healthy baby girl. She was the absolute image of Liz, much to Henrys delight, and Liz threw herself into motherhood and homemaking. Henry earned enough for her to hire a cleaner and a nanny, but Liz insisted on doing everything herself. She was supremely happy, Henry doted on her and their daughter, Emma, and all was bliss except for the one tiny pebble in her shoe: Patricia.
Henry, love, why doesnt your mum like me? She barely acknowledges her grandkids. Have I done something wrong? Liz asked.
Dont take it personally, Liz. Mums always been prickly. Shes got her own world in her head, and I suppose we just dont fit in, he said, kissing her forehead. What matters is that I love you. Thats enough, isnt it?
Emma turned one on the very day Liz discovered she was pregnant again. Henry had been dreaming of a son, and nine months later, she delivered. Jack, sturdy and red-cheeked, joined the family. The chaos officially began. Liz, feeling overwhelmed, agreed to hire a housekeeper freeing herself up to parent in earnest. Life was good. Henry adored his family, their home was comfortable, and Liz was content.
But Patricia remained the fly in the ointment.
One evening, Liz and Henry left the children with the nanny and ventured to the West End for a play. Liz adored the theatre. Settled in her seat, opera glasses at the ready, she suddenly went a shade of green.
Henry, I feel awfully queasy Must have been that salad at lunch. Smelled a bit off, now I think of it.
No amount of deep breathing or water helped, so they called it a night and went home. An hour later, on a hunch, Liz did a pregnancy test positive!
Liz! Three! Well have three kids just as I always wanted! Henry spun round the room like an over-excited labrador.
Threes a lot, you know. Emma and Jack are still tiny Liz replied, a bit dazed.
Nonsense. These are our kids, and well manage. Besides, Mum will be thrilled. Well make the announcement on her birthday add a little something to her present.
Thrilled might be a stretch, thought Liz. Shell probably say were breeding like rabbits or something even less polite. Out loud, she just nodded, smiling bravely. Whatever will be, will be.
On Sunday, in dazzling spring sunshine, the whole clan headed to Patricias, bearing flowers and a lovely shop-bought cake. They arrived only a bit late. Patricia met them at the door, practically spraying Chanel No 5 in her wake, beaming for the audience.
The guests, well-lubricated and cheerful, forced the latecomers to stand and toast the birthday girl. Henry took charge, grinning.
To the worlds best mum and granny! We wish you health, happiness, and gorgeousness for many years to come. And because were such good children heres a little gift and a surprise!
He handed over the beautifully wrapped box, inside which was a sparkling gold bracelet. On top, a neat white envelope.
Patricia opened the box with a pleased little purr, admired the bracelet, and set it down. Then she slit the envelope, pulled out the folded note, and discovered a positive pregnancy test. Her polite smile dripped away.
I suppose this is your idea of a present? she hissed at Liz. Figures. Its the only thing you ever give. Are you not tired of waddling around pregnant all the time? Its ridiculous. Youve got it cushy, thats the trouble just popping out babies at home, while my sons slaving away to keep you all fed. And the housekeeper, and the nanny Absolute parasite, you are Patricia muttered, scowling.
A deathly silence fell. Every guest stared deep into their trifle, though they were all peeking at this scene, wide-eyed.
Henry went pale as his mothers living room walls. His mouth worked silently for a second before he managed, through trembling lips:
Why on earth would you say that, Mum? I cant believe Im hearing you. I thought you loved us. I really did. But clearly, you dont love anyone but yourself.
He stood up from the table, Liz at his side, nearly in tears. They bundled the children into coats and left. Patricia didnt even glance their way. The guests sat on, thunderstruck and mum as posts.
Back in the car, Liz wept quietly, not wanting to frighten the children. Henry kept sighing and glancing over at her, ashen-faced.
At home, they spent the rest of Sunday in silence. When the childrens gentle snoring filled the house, Liz and Henry nursed mugs of tea in their quiet kitchen, the warm glow of the lamp softening the bitter sting in the air.
You know, Liz, after everything tonight, Ive realised something. She looked at him in surprise. Its not about you. Not really. If it hadnt been you, it wouldve been someone else Alice, or Becky, or Sally shed find something to complain about, whether it was your roast potatoes or your dusting. Shes jealous, Liz.
He paused. Mum raised me on her own. Dad legged it early and even avoided his maintenance payments. She worked her fingers to the bone just to keep things ticking over. And now, theres you, with everything she never had a secure home, a loving husband, happy, well-fed children, and me, putting you first. She cant bear anyones happiness if it isnt hers. He stroked her hand. Please, try and forgive her, if you can. Be kinder and just let it go. Its not worth more of your heartache.
They sat together for a long time, wrapped in each others arms. Henry pondered how little he really knew his mother and wondered how on earth hed face the neighbours. Liz, for her part, promised herself shed do her best to forgive Patricia but visiting soon was absolutely off the cards.
They had plenty to process, separate worries running through their minds, but one thing united them: their love, and their children. And when it comes down to it, thats what matters most.
