But Thats His Mother
What payment is overdue? Julia blinked, caught somewhere between a telephones distant echo and the aroma of burnt toast. No, you must be mistaken We dont have any loans at all Yes, Judson, yes, our address, but How much? That cant be right. And whose name is this loan in? Her words clinked like dropped teaspoons.
In Elijah Andrew Judsons name, the voice answered, suddenly gentler.
Yes, thats my husband, but how on earth did heWhy would he? Julias thoughts spun in foggy spirals. The rules, the man said, were the same for everyone: payment reminders, and then she couldnt quite catch what came after. A hush fell across the living room. Julia glanced at her laptop as if it might bite her, and with legs that barely obeyed, she wandered to the table.
Shed never seen Elijah with a credit card. Money never left the house for anyone but their little familydid it? Now words hung heavy, fog on the Thames: Who borrowed this money, and why? By the time Elijahs key rattled in the door, Julias workday had scattered like toast crumbs.
For whom was the money? she asked, voice trembling through the kitchen haze. Did someone ask you to borrow it?
Oh, you didnt call quick enoughtheyve rung already, Elijah muttered, rubbing his brow, and then, realising his slip, snapped, Why are you looking at me like that? Its for my mum. She needed help, lives on her own
What does she need so much for? We get by with far lessand we both work!
She wanted a break, all right? Elijah heaved a sigh.
Oh, wheres she off to? Dubai or the Seychelles then? Julias voice stretched into unreality, as if the words belonged to someone elses dream.
My mother raised me alone. She deserves it. Elijahs lips trembled. His shoulders hunched as he flopped into his armchair, turning his back to his wifea boy sulking in a grown mans suit. It was an old act, a kind of Marlowe shadows play, but the spell had gone thin.
Julia said nothing. Her mother-in-law, Irene Judson, had always been a main character in their family saga, far too much presence in everyday scenes. Irene adored making demands. The first thing she ever saidpointing at the earrings in Julias earswas, Are those real stones, or just trinkets?
When Julia said they were real, Irene let out a plaintive sigh.
Whats the point in spending so much? You should have bought something useful for the flat
Theyre a gift, Julia replied, a little crushed.
Oh, well, thats different. Irene’s mood changed to rainclouds parting for sunbeams.
A week later, Elijah sheepishly asked his wife not to wear those earrings over to his mothers againshe was upset at not having such things and Elijah couldnt afford to buy them for her, too.
Julia saw the warning signs. She brushed them away with hopelove makes fools of us all. Then came the wedding, Irene Judson shining like a Queens portrait: elegant dress, generous gift. But Julia learned, a month later, that Elijah had purchased it all. Irene had refused to attend her sons wedding otherwise.
And so it went: Mum demanded a new telly, a posher hair dryer, another spa treatment. Urgent, always urgent. Otherwise, she wept or complained of mysterious pains. Elijah could never bear her tearshed fly out the door to fulfil her every command.
Its my mum, Julia. What else can I do?
But now Julias family felt like a leaking rowboat on the River Avonmore holes than bailing buckets. Why, when both worked and earned well, did they never seem to have enough for basics? Elijah would only throw his hands up.
Maybe youve just not learnt household budgeting, Jules! Youd be wise to learn from my mother
But Julia wanted none of it. From the first, relations with her mother-in-law had curdled like spoiled cream. She knew women like Irenea grasping, jealous queen in someone elses castleand she preferred to keep a wide, muddy moat between them.
This latest demand, a holiday on borrowed money, was the final teacup spill. The sum could have paid off several months mortgage, bought new furniture, kitchen gadgets, maybe even a champagne supper at the fanciest restaurant in town. But predictably, Elijah wouldnt change:
Mum deserves everything. Always. Julia might have let it beits his mother, after all. But he hadnt told her. What if something happened? Whose name would haunt that debt? Hers, not Irenes.
It was time, Julia decided in that thick, surreal midnight that is really 4 p.m., for a talk. Choose, shed tell him: Mum or your wife, or at least tell your mother enough is enough. But Elijah turned brittle, accusing Julia of coldness and greed:
I paid that debt, Jules, I always will! How many times? And yes, Mum doesnt want some cheap Bognor guest house; shes earned first-class. She gave me everythingI wont let her down! His words fell in slow-motion, like raindrops in a fever.
But we cant afford her whims! Cant you explain?
Id rather explain to you. Mum is a saint.
Julia realised, as the hallway clock struck seventeen past the hour, that Elijah would never change. Irene would always be the lodestar, forever jealous of his loyalty. She called daily, pleading for visits, and Elijah would drop everything, no matter how far across London she lived.
After their row, the Judsons left for work without speaking. By lunch, Julia moved through the office like a ghost in cufflinkspale, otherworldly. Colleagues, faces blurred like a faded photo, insisted she see the GP. There, the news fluttered out: she was expecting a baby. It was a miracle, and she couldnt help but imagine that this would be reason enough for Elijah to reconsider everything.
For a moment, Julia floated on hope. But Elijah recoiledhe hadnt counted on this, begged her to wait, even pressed for a termination. Soon Irenes phone calls began, her voice sharp as knives:
I wont be a grandmother! Is this your plan, tying my son with a baby? Hell leave, Juliayou wont keep him. I know my boy. Hes been looking for a way out from the likes of you. Do as he says, or youll just end up begging for child support youll never see.
The room spun. Julias last clear image was the spider-plant in a patch of afternoon sunlight. She awoke in hospital, hearing a familiar voice.
Julia, youre back with us. It was Anna Evans, her mother-in-laws neighbour, in nurses blue.
Oh, Anna Didnt know you worked here
Well, it wouldve been better if you never did, Anna smirked, There was talk youd have to chooseeither you or the baby.
What?!
Relaxits all fine now. But tell me, what shook you up so badly?
Julia spilled out the tale. Annas face darkened, lips pressed tight. Then she offered Julia her advice, practical as winter boots:
Leave that lot, Julia. Youll not change Elijah, and his mum will ruin any woman who tries. Shes convinced her son owes her everything. Irene hounded her husband into an early grave, and Elijahs just cut from the same clothhed never stand up to her.
But he married me
Honestly, Im shocked he managed that. You know how many girls scarpered after just one tea at Irenes? Its your lifedecide for yourself. Oh, and how does Elijah feel about fatherhood?
After Julias answer, Anna muttered something less than complimentary about mummys boys, words that seemed to shimmer and unlock something in Julia. That very hour, she chose: she would do this solo. Elijah had already made his own choice, whether he knew it or not.
Julia filed for divorce as soon as she was back at work. Elijah didnt protest. She never told him that shed kept the baby.
One year later, Julia walked with her daughter through the rosy, crooked trees of the local park, the world washed in a curious gold. A familiar voice pierced her reverie.
Well, fancy seeing you here! Irene barked. Why wont you let me see my granddaughter?
Because shes not your granddaughter, Julia replied, serene. The other baby That one, as you and Elijah insisted, was never born. This girlshes mine, and only mine. And yes, she already has a grandmother.
How dare you
I can and I do. If youre so keen on being a grandmother, perhaps find Elijah someone who suits you.
Julia walked away, daughter skipping through the grass, Irenes curses dissolving in the morning mist. At last, she knew shed left behind a man imprisoned by his mother, and a mother who had lost touch with what really mattered. She smiled, certain she had done exactly the right thing.
