Can you give us the keys to your cottage so we can stay there for a bit a couple lets their friends visit, not guessing whats to come.
Davids mother falls ill, so he and his wife, Susan, end up staying home in London for the New Years holiday. Its a quiet, cosy affair, just the two of them. Their friends, Claire and Thomas, are disappointed since David and Susan had promised theyd all go to the countryside together, but these things happen who could have known Mrs. Stevens would get sick right during the holidays?
Still, Susan feels bad about it. When Claire rings her on 2nd January, describing her miserable New Years spent crammed into their small flat with Thomas and his mum, Susan feels another pang of guilt.
Its just been impossible, Claire moans. Thomass mum turned up on New Years Eve saying her heatings gone kaput! Now shes moved in with us until the council sorts her pipes. I cant take it anymore. Ill swear, Ill divorce Thomas over his mother!
Im sorry, Susan sighs. Davids mum is lovely but this cold has hit her hard. I wish I could help somehow.
Well, you can, Claire says, brightening. Why dont you give us the keys to your cottage? Well escape for the holiday, let his mum have the flat to herself.
Susan hesitates, torn between feeling for her friend and not knowing how David will take it. The cottage technically belongs to him, though they treat it as theirs together.
Im not sure Ill talk to David.
Honestly, well be careful. I promise, Claire insists.
But the roads probably buried in snow, Susan points out. We didnt arrange a plough.
Weve got a 4×4, Claire replies, confident. And Thomas has dealt with boilers for years.
Susan relents a little. Ill call you back, she says, and goes to discuss it with David.
Are you sure this is a good idea? David asks.
Ive known Claire for ages. Wed have gone together if your mum was well. If itll save Claire and Thomass marriage
They agree reluctantly. Well give them the keys but lets leave every other issue to them, David says.
Claires delighted, promising to keep Susan updated. She and Thomas drive for three hoursout to the cottage in a pretty corner of the Cotswolds. But Susan and David were right: New Years snow makes the lane treacherous even for a 4×4, and Claire soon phones for help.
What do we do?
Turn around, David suggests. No ones clearing snow today; it’s the holidays.
No way, Claire insists. Weve driven too far. Theres a village nearby, and you said David knows someone with a tractor.
He does. Ill send you his number, Susan says.
Half an hour later, Claire calls back. He won’t pick up. Can David call? He probably doesnt answer unknown numbers.
Susan persuades David to phone. The tractor driver says hell come within the hour.
David feels on edge as Claire keeps calling to ask where the tractor is. Eventually, he switches his phone off for some peace.
When the tractor arrives and clears the lane, the gate is still buried. Thomas has to dig a path just to reach the cottage door. Inside, the radiators barely work. The boiler needs sorting. Thomas tries but cant figure it out, so hes back calling David, who spends two hours explaining over the phone.
Ive never seen one like this must be ancient.
It works! David snaps, suspecting more trouble will come.
Hes right. Claire calls about everything: where the frying pan is, why its cold, whats that funny smell by the back door.
By night, Susan and David turn off their mobiles for sanity. The next morning, they wake to dozens of missed calls.
Whats happened? Susan worries.
She calls; Claire answers immediately. Where have you been?!
Asleep, Susan says.
We had an emergency the steam room stank of smoke, it nearly burned!
Oh god
Who builds a steam room like that?!
What was wrong?
You couldve mentioned theres a vent cover on the chimney! Claire scolds. Luckily, Thomas figured it out.
Sorry, I didnt expect youd use the steam room day one
Were guests, arent we? Is the steam room not part of it? You shouldve said. We barely made it through all that snow.
Well, enjoy it, Susan says, flustered.
And we cant find the barbecue.
Old one broke.
Well, thanks for telling us! Where will we grill now? Claire is not pleased.
I dont know, Claire. Its been a whirlwind these past few days. Just dont burn the cottage down.
Susan hangs up, not loving her friends attitude.
What now? David asks.
Nothing good, Susan sighs, explaining what just happened.
Thomas knows the vent cover, he used the steam room in summer. The barbecue isnt our problem. If they want to cook something special, they can go into the village, buy a disposable grill. That should do.
Thats what Susan passes on when Claire calls again.
Fine, I get it. Well head to the village. The road’s clear thanks to us.
Surprisingly, Claire stops pestering Susan after that. Maybe she realises Susans had enough.
They havent called for ages, David remarks the next day. Maybe check in?
Claire doesnt answer but texts back: Alls fine.
David and Susan decide to just trust their friends with the cottage and forget about the drama for a few days.
By the end of the New Year break, Davids mum feels better.
Fancy going to the cottage for the keys? See how things are, Susan suggests.
Good idea. Ill set off in the morning and be back by evening.
David heads out while Susan stays in London with his mum. She warns Claire that David is on his way and expects things will be straightforward. But when he returns, his mood is foul, and he wont talk about the trip.
Its RITA who finally explains things. She calls Susan the next day and asks her round; they live on the next street.
Is Thomass mum back home? Susan asks.
Thank goodness yes. Shes managed to get the heating sorted, so she moved back yesterday.
Great, Ill pop over soon, Susan says, without telling David. He clearly isnt happy about their friends right now, and Susan wants to find out why.
Claire gets straight to the point, handing Susan a sheet of paper.
Whats this?
A list of the things we bought for your cottage tractor fee, electric shovel, barbecue, charcoal, firelighters, grill, three bulbs, and essential oils for the steam room.
Its what we spent while there.
And?
Weve left those things for you. Its only fair we split the costs.
Youre serious? Susan laughs, thinking its a joke.
Of course. If youd had a barbecue, we wouldnt have needed the BBQ set. If youd had a proper shovel, we wouldnt have had to buy that. If the tractor man had cleared the snow beforehand, we wouldnt have wasted petrol waiting! And don’t get me started on no shampoo in the steam room; I had to buy it myself.
Claire, this isnt a hotel. You bought the shovel and BBQ yourselves. If you dont need them, take them with you, same for oils, charcoal, the grill. I wont pay for the snow clearing you decided to travel. Ill cover the light bulbs, though. Thanks for replacing them, Susan says, transferring three pounds eighty to Claires account. She then stands and leaves, ignoring further calls and texts. To avoid any argument, she and David visit the cottage, gather the friends’ things, and send them back by courier.
Davids mum is almost recovered, and Susan and David spend their weekends in the countryside again. Claire and Thomas arent invited, since after that episode, the friendship cools and the generous couple keep their keys firmly to themselves.
We looked after them, tried our best… and what did we get? Claire complains to Thomas, calling Susan again. She doesnt even need the electric shovel but you can only get a refund with the receipt, which ended up at the cottage with their friends.
