How could she?! Not a word to me! Didnt even think to ask! The sheer nervecoming into someone elses flat and making herself at home! No respect at all! Lord above, what have I done to deserve this? I spent my whole life fussing over her, and this is the thanks I get! She doesnt even see me as a person! I swiped away the tears, angry at myself and everyone else She has the nerve to tell me she doesnt like the way I live! She should look at herself! Sitting in her poky little one-bed flat, acting like shes won the lottery. No sensible husband, no proper job she works from home, for heavens sake. What does she even live on? And yet she thinks shes in a position to lecture me! I forgot things before she ever started thinking about them!
This last thought jolted me from my old armchair. I wandered off to the kitchen, flicked the kettle on, and gazed through the window.
The city looked magical this time of year, all lit up for the holiday. But as I stood there, I started crying again: Everyones getting ready for New Year, but theres no celebration for me. Im so alone
The kettle shrieked its usual tune. I was so lost in memory, I barely noticed it.
I was twenty when Mum, at forty-five, had my sisterunbelievable, really. I remember thinking, why would Mum bother at her age?
I dont want you to be left on your own, Mum told me. Its such a blessing, having a sister. Youll understand one day.
I do understand, Id replied indifferently back then. But dont expect me to take care of her. I have my own life, you know.
Mum just smiled. Thats not true anymore.
Her words were prophetic. My sister was only three when Mum died Mum had gone first, Dad had passed even earlier. All the responsibility for Emily fell on me. I practically became her mothershe even called me Mum until she was about ten.
I never married. Not because of Emilythere just wasnt anyone special enough. And, to be honest, how would I have met anyone? I never went anywhere, never felt the urge for fun: home, work, looking after Emily that was it.
When our parents died, I grew up overnight. I gave everything for her: I raised her, made sure she was educated, protected her as best I could.
Now shes grown and living independentlyabout to get married, no less. She comes by all the time; were close, even now, though were different as chalk and cheese in age, nature, and worldviews.
For instance, Im terribly thrifty. My flat has become a storeroom for ancient things nobody needs. If you poked around, youd find the dressing gown I wore ten years ago, when I was thinner. Or receipt books from the early 2000s.
My kitchens full of chipped mugs, battered saucepans with missing handles. I havent used them in ages, but I cant bring myself to throw anything out. What if theyre useful one day?
Even the wallpaper hasnt been changed in ages. Not because I cant afford itjust, well, its still holding together, isnt it?
That habitsaving money, putting my comfort last for Emilys sakeset in hard.
Emilys the opposite: cheerful, easy-going. She keeps her place bare and simple, no clutter. Just what she needs and nothing more.
Shes set herself a rule: If I havent needed something all year, its time to get rid of it!
Her flats bright and airy; the whole place feels lighter.
Time and again, Emily made suggestions: Lets redecorate your place. Well sort through everything, or soon youll have no room left!
I dont want to throw anything out and I like things as they are, Id always say. No need for any decorating.
How can you not want any change? Just look at your hallwaythe wallpapers practically prehistoric! Its like walking into a cellar. And all this old junk drains your energyyou dont realise how much. Makes you ill, shed insist.
But I brushed her off every time.
Eventually, Emily must have decided to do it herselfsurprise me with a redecoration! She picked the hallway, since there wasnt much furniture or clutter.
A week before New Year, when I was working the late shift, Emily and her fiancé Tom came round (we trust each other with keys) and set to work. They stripped away the dreary wallpaper and replaced it with bright green and gold-patterned paper.
Afterwards, they carefully put everything back in its placeEmily hadnt dared move any of my things. And then they left.
I came home, completely clueless. The shock made me walk out againI thought Id come to the wrong flat. Checked the door number. No, all correct
I went in once more and realised what had happened.
Emily!
How dare she?!
Fuming, I rang her and gave her a thorough telling off before slamming the phone down.
Half an hour later, Emily turned up at my door.
Who asked you to do this?! I demanded.
Nina, love, it was meant to be a surprise. Isnt it lovely now? So bright and tidy, and it feels so much fresher, she pleaded, trying to calm me down.
Dont you dare take over my home! I couldnt hold back; the words kept tumbling out.
I must have hurt hermy barbs just kept flying.
Finally, Emily had enough.
Thats it, Im done. Live in your rubbish tip if you like. I wont set foot in here again!
Oh, cant handle the truth, eh? Running away now?
I just feel sorry for you, thats all, she whispered, and left.
She disappearedand hasnt called in a week. Weve never argued so fiercely, or for so long. And now, with New Years Eve looming, will we really spend it apart?
I wandered into the hallway and slumped on the little stool.
You know it is more spacious now, I thought to myself, picturing Emily and Tom putting up the wallpaper together, fussing so not to leave a single crease, probably imagining how surprised Id be. And why did I lose my temper? Its better nowbrighter, and it even lifts my mood a bit. Maybe Emilys right.
Suddenly the phone rang
Nina, Emilys voice was trembling and I realised she was crying, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to upset you. I only wanted you to be happy
Oh darling, Im not cross at all, I started to sob too, overwhelmed. Theres nothing to forgiveyou were right, and the wallpaper is beautiful. After the holidays, lets start sorting out my mountains of things. If you dont mind, I mean.
Of course I dont mind! Emily chirped. Ill help, I promise! And what about tonight? New Years Eve I cant stand the thought of celebrating without you
I cant either
Then get ready! she giggled. Everythings sortedreal Christmas tree, fairy lights, candles, just the way you love. And dont fuss: Ive cooked nearly everything. I knew wed make up and I wanted us to spend the New Year together. So, take your timeTomll come and get you.
I drifted back to the window, staring out at the festive citybut this time, I saw it differently.
Watching the twinkling lights, I whispered, Thank you, Mum For my sister.I put on my best scarf, checked my hair in the new, sunlit hallway mirrorfunny, Id never noticed how friendly the space felt with its sparkling green and gold. As I waited for Tom, the knot in my chest slowly eased loose. This flat had always been my fortress, my refuge from a world that shifted when I wasnt looking. But tonight, for the first time in years, I felt ready to step out into the change, rather than brace against it.
As we drove through the glittering city, memories flickered like the Christmas lights in every windowMums gentle words, Emilys laughter when she was small, the hush of late evenings spent together, just us against the world. For years, I thought I was teaching Emily how to live. I never realised shed teach me, toohow to let go, how to make space, how to open a door and let warmth in.
Emily met me at her door with flour on her nose and arms wide open. For one dazzling moment, she looked just like Mum. I wrapped her in the tightest hug I could give.
Lets never argue for so long again, I whispered.
She grinned, brushing away both our tears. Deal. Promise youll keep one thing, though?
Whats that?
She squeezed my hand. Me.
I nodded, heart full as celebration music floated through the flat. The new year burst outside in laughter, fireworks, and the hope that, at any age, its not too late to begin againwith old love, in a bright new hallway, under the shimmering city lights.
