Im fed up with playing nursemaid to your son, declared the daughter-in-law as she packed her bags for the seaside.
Valerie Browns son, James, is a decent, hard-working man. But he married quite an unusual woman. Sometimes Jennifer wouldnt cook, other times she flatly refused to clean. Lately, shes been acting like shes had enough.
Yesterday, there was another row.
James, she told him, I cant do this anymore! Youre a grown man but you act like a child!
James was taken aback. He didnt think he was asking muchjust wanted Jen to pick out his socks, iron his shirt, and remind him about his doctors appointment.
My mums always helped me, he mumbled.
Then go live with your mum! snapped Jennifer.
The very next day she packed her suitcase.
James, she said calmly, Im off to Brighton. A month, maybe more.
More? What do you mean by more?
I mean Im exhausted from babysitting a grown man.
James tried to protest, but Jen didnt pay him any mind. She picked up her phone and dialled:
Mrs Brown? Its Jen. If he cant manage without a minder, do come and stay for a bit. Spare keys are under the doormat.
And with that, she was gone.
James sits in the empty flat, clueless as to what to do next. The fridge is bare. His socks are dirty. Theres a mountain of plates in the sink.
After a couple of days, he finally calls his mum:
Mum, Jens lost the plot! Shes disappeared somewhere! What am I supposed to do now?
Valerie sighs. More trouble with the daughter-in-law.
Ill be right over, Jamie. Well sort it out.
Within the hour, she arrivesbag full of groceries and her trusty motherly attitude: everything can be fixed.
But when she opens the door, shes shocked.
Utter chaos everywhere. Clothes strewn about the bedroom. Dishes piled high in the kitchen. Laundry dumped in the bathroom.
Suddenly, Valerie realisesher thirty-year-old son truly doesnt know how to live. Not at all.
Shes done everything for him all his life. Shes unwittingly raised one big child.
Mum, James whines, Whats for dinner? Where did my shirts go? Whens Jen coming home?
Valerie quietly starts cleaning, but her mind is racing: What have I done?
Shed protected James from chores, hardship, real life itself.
Now, without women around, hes helpless.
And as for Jen? She simply had to run away from this grown-up baby.
And its perfectly understandable.
Valerie spends three days at her sons flat.
Each morning, her realisation grows: shes raised a man who is just a child.
James wakes up and immediately starts complaining:
Mum, whats for breakfast? Wheres my shirt? Are there any clean socks?
Valerie cooks, cleans, irons, all without a word. And she observes.
Imagine a thirty-year-old man who cant switch on the washing machine! Has no idea what a loaf of bread costs! Can barely make a cup of teascalds himself, spills sugar everywhere.
Mum, he grumbles in the evenings, Jens gone completely mad! She used to at least pretend she loved me. Now shes like a stranger!
How do you behave? Valerie asks gently.
Normal! I dont ask much. I just want my wife to be a wife, not some angry old bat!
Valerie gazes at her son. Good grief. He genuinely doesnt get it.
James, do you ever help Jen?
Help? How? I work and bring home the money! Isnt that enough?
And at home?
At home? Im exhausted when I get back! I need to rest! Shes always naggingwash the dishes, go to the shop. But thats womens work!
And then: Valerie recognises her own words echoing backthe ones she said all his life.
Jamie, dont touch, Mumll do it!
Dont go shopping, Mums quicker!
Youre a man, youve got more important things!
Shes created a monster.
The more she observes, the worse it seems.
James comes home, flops onto the sofa, waits for dinner, expects to be told the news, entertained.
And when dinner doesnt just magically appear, he whines:
Mum, when are we eating? Im starving!
Just like a child.
Worst of allhe complains about Jen.
Shes all touchy lately, he gripes. Always in a mood. Maybe she should see a doctor? Hormones maybe?
Or maybe shes just exhausted? his mum suggests.
Exhausted from what? We both work. But the house is a womans duty.
Duty?! Valerie snaps. Who told you that?
James is flusteredhis mum never shouted at him before.
On the fourth evening, Valerie cant take it anymore.
James lounges on the sofa, scrolling through his phone and sighing, bored without his wife. The kitchen is stacked with dirty dishes, socks litter the floor, and the bed is unmade.
Mum, he whimpers, Whats for dinner?
Valerie stands at the stove, making stew. Just as shes done for thirty years.
Suddenly, shes had enough.
James, she says, switching off the cooker, We need to talk.
Im listening, he says, not looking up.
Put down your phone. Look at me.
Theres something in her voiceJames does as she says.
Son, Valerie begins softly, Do you understand why Jen left?
She just got overwhelmed. Women are emotional. Shell rest and come back.
She wont come back.
What do you mean she wont come back?!
Shes exhausted from mothering a grown man.
James leaps up:
Mum! Whats this about? I work, bring home the money!
So? Thats not all! What about at home? Are your arms broken? Are your eyes failing?
James goes pale.
How can you say that? Im your son!
Thats exactly why Im saying it! Valerie trembles as she sits on a chair.
Mum, are you ill? James asks, alarmed.
Ill! Sick with loveblind motherly love. I thought I was protecting you. But I raised an egotistthirty years old and lost without a woman! Who thinks the world owes him!
But
But nothing! Valerie interrupts. Do you think Jens supposed to be your second mother? Wash, cook, clean for youfor what?
I work!
So does she! And she manages the house as well! You? You laze on the sofa and expect to be waited on!
James eyes mist over.
Mum, but everyone lives like this.
Not everyone! Valerie shouts. Real men help their wives! Wash up, cook, raise the kids! You dont even know where we keep the washing powder!
James sits, face buried in hands.
Jens right, Valerie says, softly. Shes tired of being your mum. And Im tired too.
What do you mean, tired?
Just that. Valerie heads to the hall, grabs her bag. Im going home. You stay here. Alone. Try to grow up.
Mum, wait! James jumps up. Alone? Whos going to cook? Whos going to clean?
You! she shouts. You will! Like any normal adult!
But I dont know how!
Youll learn! Or youll end up a lonely, childish failure!
Valerie puts on her coat.
Mum, dont go! James pleads. What will I do on my own?
What you shouldve been doing twenty years agoliving independently.
And she leaves.
James remains alone in his messy flat. For the first time in his life, truly on his own.
Left to face reality.
He sits on his sofa till midnight.
His stomach rumbles. The dishes reek in the sink. Socks are still on the floor.
Blimey, he mutters, and for the first time in thirty years, he does the washing up himself.
Its awkward. The plates slip; his hands sting from the washing up liquid. But he manages.
Then he tries to fry some eggs. Burns them. Makes another gothis ones edible.
By morning, he realises: his mum was right.
A week passes.
Every day, James learns how to live on his own. Doing laundry, cooking, tidying up. Shopping for groceries, working out prices. Planning his day to fit in everything.
Turns outits hard work.
And now he understands what Jen went through.
Hi, Jen? he calls her on Saturday.
Yes? her voice is cool.
You were right, James blurts out. I acted like a big kid.
Theres silence on the line.
Ive spent a week living alone. I get it now, he falters. It must have been awful for you. Im sorry.
Jen keeps quiet for ages.
You know, she says eventually, your mum called me yesterday. She apologised. Said she raised you wrong.
A month later, Jen returns.
She comes back to a tidy flat, a husband who cooked dinner and greeted her with flowers.
Welcome home, he says.
And Valerie calls once a week. Asks after them, but never offers to visit.
And one evening, as James does the washing up and Jen makes tea, she says:
You know, I rather like our new life.
Me too, replies James, drying his hands. Funny, it took us so long to get here.
At least we made it, Jen smiles.
And thats the honest truth.
