My husband grew up in a large English family, educated under the roof of his parents with many siblings. My mother-in-law kept having children until she finally had a daughtera rather peculiar approach, but its not my place to judge.
When I got married, I thought Id landed on my feet. Edward looked sensible, brave, and steadfast. He understood what family meant, yet couldnt tear himself away from his mother and his youngest sister. My mother-in-law never seemed overly fond of her sons, but her daughters wellbeing was always paramount.
Harriet was just ten when we first met. At the start, she didnt bother me, but after about five years, that changed. She refused to study, kept bad company, and my husband was left to sort out her troubles. My sister-in-law could call Edward in the dead of night and he’d rush off to assist her.
I hoped Harriet would grow up, find a good husband, and everything would settle down. But of course, that wasnt the case. When she made up her mind to get married, my mother-in-law promptly roped in her sons to help pay for the ceremony, as she hadnt the money herself. The groom had little to his name, earning next to nothing, so the newlyweds had no choice but to live with my mother-in-law.
One child came, then another… My mother-in-law came to realise it was impossible to carry on this way for long. Then she devised a perfect solutionshe’d move in with us, giving her flat to her daughter. But is it really fair, considering I bought our flat with my own savings, and my husband didnt put in a single penny? What’s particularly galling is Edward is perfectly happy with this, assuring me, My mum will support you.
We have a modest two-bedroom flat. But Im not willing to sacrifice my comfort or share our home with anyone else. My mother-in-law is convinced that were obligated to house her, given that Edward is the eldest son, and therefore responsible for his parents welfare.
I do love my husbanddivorce isnt an option. But how do I get him to come to his senses? How do I make him see that living with his mother is absolute torment for me? If anyone has some advice, Im all ears.
After thinking it all over, I realise family bonds run deep in England, but boundaries are just as vital. Its become clear that open, honest conversations about personal space and respect are necessary for harmonyand that compromising your own happiness wont bring peace to anyone.
