My wife and I have managed to build our success through our own hard work, while our younger siblings received generous support from our parents. We dont believe that were entitled to anything, but at the same time, we feel our parents arent obligated to provide for our younger siblings either. Still, its hard not to question why theres such an obvious disparity in their treatment.
I remember my father giving my brother a brand-new car, choosing to keep his battered old one for himself. Later on, I found out my brother and his wife had moved into a flat inherited from our grandfather, right after they were married. Theres a ten-year age gap between my brother and me, but before his wedding, my parents treated us almost like distant acquaintances. Yet, when my brother shared his good news, they handed over that lovely flat without a second thought.
I found the courage to ask my mother about this sort of favouritism, and why the same kindness wasnt shown to my wife and me. Her reply left me rather disappointed: Did you ever ask for help? Havent you seen the state of your own place? Havent you noticed you never owned a car? Old memories came flooding backhow my wife and I tried to build a life together with only our friends to lean on. The tears came unbidden.
When our child was born, we moved into a nearly empty house. We scraped by and did everything ourselves, relying on the kindness of friends. Things were so grim that, when our child fell ill, we didnt dare to call a doctor for fear hed see how poorly we were living and report us to social services.
Meanwhile, my sister-in-law, my wifes sister, seemed to be the family favourite. My in-laws moved out to a village and endured the hassle of a long commute just to let their daughter live privately in their own flat in London, even though they werent keen on rural life. Still, their daughter leaned on them for everythingeven her groceries. Every week, theyd show up at her flat, fill her fridge and pantry, then head back to the countryside.
Eventually, I asked my mother once more why she treated us so differently, giving everything to my brother while offering nothing to me and my wife. Her words hit hard; she reminded me wed never asked for help, even though she knew about our struggles. That response stung more than I like to admit, and forgiveness is still a challengeboth for my parents, and my wifes.
Throughout it all, this unfair treatment by both sides of our familywhere the younger siblings were favoured and we were left to fend for ourselveshas left a lasting feeling of hurt and injustice. Its not easy to understand why such starkly different standards applied to us and our siblings, and that sense of pain and inequality lingers to this day.
