I’m at my wit’s end with my mother-in-law, who can’t accept that her son has started his own family.
I’m on the verge of a breakdown. My husband and I have been married for four years, yet his mother still holds onto the hope that her “little boy” will leave me and return to her embrace. Her behavior is completely unreasonable. I’ve tried to establish a normal relationship with her, ignoring her antics, but nothing has worked. I’m stuck and don’t know what to do.
It all began seven years ago, when my future husband and I first started dating. We were both students living with our parents. Two months after meeting, I introduced him to my family, but he was reluctant to introduce me to his. Our first meeting with his mother didn’t happen until a year later.
There were always excuses: “Mum’s busy,” “It’s not a good time right now.” I didn’t push it. But when we finally did meet, I immediately sensed her hostility. I tried to convince myself it was just nerves, but her actions said otherwise.
During dinner, she scrutinized me without really engaging in conversation. When my boyfriend mentioned we planned to move in together, she nearly choked. She tried to talk us out of it, claiming her son was too young and not ready to live independently (even though he was already 24).
Despite her objections, we started living together. That’s when the real nightmare began. She began sending me lengthy messages daily with instructions on how to care for her son. For instance, she insisted I peel an orange for him every day because otherwise, he wouldn’t eat it. I replied that he could handle it himself, and she accused me of being a poor hostess.
Once, we visited her in our casual tracksuits. Afterward, I received a message saying we looked disgraceful and respectable people don’t dress like that.
When we announced our engagement, she put on quite the show. She invited her son over while arranging for her friends to bring their daughters, trying to set him up with them. He firmly told her he’d manage his own love life and stopped visiting her. Undeterred, she began visiting us nearly every day, criticizing everything from my cleaning to my cooking.
Before the wedding, she drove me to tears, insisting I’d chosen the wrong menu and that my dress was hideous. Eventually, I couldn’t take it and asked her to leave. In response, she called my husband in tears, pretending she’d had a heart attack. We rushed to her, only to find it was all a lie.
My husband gave her an ultimatum: she could attend the wedding with a positive attitude or not come at all. She chose the latter.
After our son was born, she didn’t meet her grandson until he was a year old. She had insisted before then that he wasn’t her grandchild and accused me of presenting her with someone else’s child. Now, I try to limit contact with her, as every encounter leaves me emotionally drained.
