A Moment for Me
Just the other day, a mate came over for a cuppa. We were sat at the kitchen table, chatting about life, when I said, “Ill just pop off to do the washing-upbe right back.”
He looked at me as if Id announced I was building a rocket. With a mix of admiration and disbelief, he said, “Its nice of you to help your wife like that. I dont bothermine never thanks me anyway. Last week, I mopped the floor, and she didnt even say cheers.”
I sat back down and explained that I wasnt “helping” my wife. Truth be told, my wife doesnt need helpshe needs a partner. Im her partner in running the household, not some bloke doing her a favour by pitching in.
I dont “help” my wife with cleaning because I live here too, and the mess is partly mine.
I dont “help” my wife with cooking because I like to eat, so I ought to cook as well.
I dont “help” my wife with the dishes because those plates and forks are the ones I use.
I dont “help” my wife with the kids because theyre my children too, and being their dad is my job.
I dont “help” my wife with the laundry because those clothes belong to me and our little ones just as much as to her.
Im not “helping out” at homeI live here. This is my house too.
As for gratitude, I asked my mate, “When was the last time your wife did the cleaning, the laundry, made the beds, bathed the kids, cooked dinner, tidied up, or any of the million other thingsand you actually said, ‘Thanks, love’?” And not just a quick “ta,” but real appreciation: “Blimey, youre absolutely brilliant at this!”
Does that sound odd? Are you shifting uncomfortably in your seat? When you did the bare minimum once and expected a medal… why? Ever stopped to think about that, mate?
Maybe because, in our bloke-centric culture, youve been taught that all this is “her job.”
Perhaps you reckon it all just magically sorts itself out without her lifting a finger?
Well then, praise her the way youd want to be praisedwith the same enthusiasm. Step up, act like a true partner, not just a lodger who shows up to eat, sleep, shower, and satisfy urges. Make yourself at homebecause it is.
Real change in our society starts at home. Lets teach our sons and daughters what it means to be a proper teammate.
