Shameless to the Core “Come on, Natasha, be honest,” Kolya groaned. “What’s the cosmic difference who we rent the house to? Friends or strangers—it’s still the same money.” Natasha finished hanging up the laundry. He could help instead of whining. “Kolya dear,” she replied, “the difference is, with family, you’ll never see that money.” “You mean Dima? That’s not fair—he’s my brother! He’ll pay, I swear. He’s not even after a discount. He’ll take the house at full price for the entire summer. No need to look for other tenants.” “It’s a house by the sea, Kolya. I can find tenants in five minutes.” “Why does it matter to you if it’s family or strangers?” “With strangers, it’s simple: a contract, payment up front. If they don’t pay, they’re out. But with relatives, it starts with ‘Oh Natasha, you understand, we have kids… we’ll pay next time… sorry we broke the telly, but you won’t make us pay, will you?’ I’ve seen enough of this before. You’ve no idea how it ends.” The house came to Natasha from her parents, who also rented it out. They lived in Brighton, and the holiday house by the coast was a perfect side gig. Natasha continued the tradition, but laid down one crucial rule: no friends or relatives. She’d seen her parents get ripped off by so-called “friends” one too many times. “And what happened in the end?” her husband asked. “In the end, relatives didn’t pay and didn’t even apologise! As if it was too much to let them stay. No, Kolya, the house is a business—not a free B&B for your lot.” Dima had recently decided three months by the sea was just what the doctor ordered for his wife and three kids. Summer’s slow for him at work, so, why not? Natasha knew full well Dima had no intention of paying. “Dima’s not asking for a free ride!” Kolya insisted. “He’ll pay.” They all promise at first. “Why would we risk this? There’s always a queue of people happy to pay top price for the house. They roll up, sign the contract, pay in advance—and I sleep soundly. No relatives, no friends. Friends are friends, business is business.” Kolya knew it was hard to argue with Natasha’s pragmatism, but he tried. “Fine. You don’t trust Dima, but do you trust me?” Natasha waited. “I do. And?” “If Dima lets us down, I’ll pay you the rent myself,” Kolya flared, playing the hero. But it was a weak argument. “Amazing. You’ll pay me out of our joint savings.” “Er… if you put it like that… I’ll find a side job. Evenings or weekends, whatever I earn is yours. Not ours—yours. Deal?” Natasha hadn’t realised it mattered so much to Kolya. Maybe, if he was that sure about his brother, she should just trust him… “You could talk anyone round,” she said. “All right. You’re in charge. Fine.” Summer was still far off, so Natasha had time to cool off, maybe even believe in Kolya. June rolled in—and trouble followed. Kolya’s gentle reminders every few days to Dima to pay at least one month upfront were met with reassuring promises. “All good, Kolya! Yes, the money? I’m just waiting for a big client to pay me at the end of the month. Any day now. Sorry for the delay, but these things happen, don’t worry!” June ended. No money. Natasha waited a month without nagging. Kolya asked her to trust him. She did. She didn’t want to shatter his ego, but when he spoke to Dima yet again, she asked, “Well? Paid up yet?” “Dima says his client still hasn’t paid out. Any day now, he promised.” Same excuse, a month later. Natasha bit back the obvious “Told you so.” “What did I say? Family always have a very important reason not to pay on time.” “It’s just a coincidence!” Kolya pleaded. “He’s not doing it on purpose! Sometimes these things happen. We just have to wait.” “Yeah, let’s wait till September, right? Until they pack up their bags and go: ‘Thanks for the fabulous break, we’ll call you about the money sometime?’” “Look, you’re not losing anything. I’ll get a side job.” “You? Really? Right now?” He shrank a bit. “Just give him a couple more weeks. If not, I’ll pay… if that’s so important to you.” “I didn’t force you into it, Kolya. You insisted on this heroics to prove your brother’s an honest man. So prove it!” The air in the house turned chilly; Kolya spoke to her less brightly. July came. The heat was stifling. Natasha noticed Kolya browsing job ads but not applying to any. “Kolya, you realise it’s the 30th today? Two-thirds of summer gone, and we’re still owed full rent.” “Still nothing from him… but—” “‘Any day now.’” “He’ll pay! As soon as Dima’s client pays, he’ll pay us first and maybe throw in extra for the hassle.” “I don’t believe it. You vouched for him? You told me, ‘I’ll pay’. So pay up. Where’s the side job?” Obviously, the thought of actually working extra no longer filled Kolya with courage. It’s easier to make promises than to do double shifts. “I’ll find something. But the jobs are rubbish… I’m not lugging boxes about, not with my back.” “Maybe you should send your brother to lug boxes, then. You promised me. So either get a side job, or I’m calling Dima and telling him that unless I see at least half the money by Friday, I’ll evict them and sue for the rest.” Kolya paled. “Don’t call Dima! Sue him? What’ll the family think? What will I tell Mum? That I sued my brother, Natasha, no one will understand.” Dima didn’t want to pay, Kolya didn’t want to make good on his promises, he didn’t want to sue his brother, and suddenly, somehow, Natasha became the villain. “Oh, so it’s all for my sake, Kolya? You don’t care that working double shifts wrecks my husband’s health—just as long as the money turns up!” “I didn’t force you, Kolya! You insisted!” “I didn’t know Dima would stiff us!” “But I did,” Natasha replied. “I knew because I’d seen this before. Lots of times. You didn’t listen to me.” “Okay, okay—I get it!” Kolya started acting the martyr, “But you don’t let me make mistakes! Instead of support, you only give me grief!” “And I’m supposed to smile and say: ‘Don’t worry, Kolya, let them stay for free, I’ll just cope’? You insisted you’d pay.” “Yes, I did!” he sulked. “But I never thought you’d let me knacker myself paying your money back. Don’t you care about me?” “Does your brother care about you?” “He’s not a bad bloke, just unlucky…” “Brilliant. He’s not bad, stiffing me for rent and letting you take the blame. Meanwhile, I’m the villain for wanting what’s mine?” Kolya hesitated. Maybe this marriage was heading for stormy weather.

Boundless Cheek

Well, Alice, be honest with me, whined Colin. Whats the real difference, truly? Whether we let the cottage to friends, family, or strangers? The moneys the same, isnt it?

Alice finished pegging out the last sheet on the line, silently wishing hed help rather than keep moaning.

Colin, dear, she replied, the crucial difference is you simply cant wring money out of your relatives afterwards.

Youre talking about David? The words made Colin frown. But thats my brother! I swear, hell pay up. He hasnt even asked for a discount, you know. Hell rent it for the whole summer, full price. And therell be no faffing about, looking for tenants.

Colin, its a cottage by the sea. I could find tenants in five minutes.

But tell me why you so dreadfully insist we only let it to strangers?

With strangers, its straightforward, she explained. Theres a contract, up-front payment. They dont pay, theyre out, no hard feelings. With your own, its always, Oh, Alice, you understand, weve the children to think of. Or, Well pay you later, just waiting for something to come through. Or, We broke your telly but you wont actually charge us, will you? Trust me, Ive seen it all before. You dont know how it ends.

The cottage had come down to Alice from her parents, who also let it out. They lived back in Portsmouth, and the cottage was a nice supplement to their wages. Alice carried on the tradition but with the strict rule: no friends, no family, ever. She saw what happened to her mother and father, always being short-changed by friends who conveniently forgot to pay.

And how did it end? asked her husband.

With relatives neither paying nor apologising! Some nerve, mind you as if letting them stay is the least we could do, and all at no bother! No, the cottage is a business, Colin. Not a free boarding house for your family.

David had recently decided that three months by the sea was exactly what his wife and three children needed. It was his quiet period at work, after all, so why not indulge for the summer? Alice was under no illusion: David had not the slightest intention of paying.

Its not as if Davids asking you to put them up for free! insisted Colin. He said hed pay.

They all promise, in the beginning.

Why should we risk it? Alice countered. Theres always a queue for the cottage, people ready to pay the going rate. I get a contract, sleep soundly, end of story. No family, no friends. Business is business.

Alices pragmatism was hard to fault, but Colin was determined to win her round.

Alright. You dont trust David. But do you trust me?

She looked at him, waiting.

Yes, I trust you. Why?

If David doesnt pay up, Ill pay you the rent myself, he blurted out, puffed up like a hero.

Brilliant, youll pay me from our joint account, Alice replied, voice cool as the sea breeze.

I Well, Id find another job. Yes, Ill take up evening or weekend work, and everything I earn, Ill give you. Entirely yours. That way, its not our money. Will that do?

Alice hadnt realised how much this meant to Colin. If he had such faith in his brother, perhaps she ought to trust him, too.

You could charm the birds out of the trees, she sighed. But the responsibility is yours. Very well.

The summer was still months off, so Alice tried to quiet her mind and put her faith for once in her husband.

June drifted in, bringing problems with it. Colin, who now rang David every three days under the innocent pretext of sorting out at least a months rent up front, received nothing but optimistic reassurances:

Yes, yes, Colin, its all in hand! The moneys coming, Im just waiting for a big client to pay the balance. End of the month, promise! Sorry about the delay these things happen. Dont worry!

But June faded into July, and not a penny appeared.

Alice stoically endured the petty humiliations, staying silent and letting Colin see it through as promised. It bruised his pride, but after the latest hopeful phone call, she finally asked:

Well? Has he paid yet?

Still waiting on payment from his clients as soon as it comes in, he promises hell pay straight away.

Same line, all month long.

Alice bit her tongue, resisting a sarcastic couldve knocked me down with a feather.

You see what I mean? Theres always some terribly important reason the family cant pay on time.

Its just bad luck, Alice! Colin protested. It wasnt deliberate honest! It just happened to fall like this, thats all. We just need to wait.

Wait until September, shall we? Until theyve packed up their three trunks and said, Thanks for the lovely holiday, well call about the money soon? Is that the plan?

In the end, its me who loses out, not you. Ill take on extra work, if it comes to that.

You? Starting now?

Colins confidence wilted at once.

Lets give him a fortnight more. If nothing by then, Ill pay you myself if it matters so much.

I didnt force you to take on such a promise, Alice reminded him. You volunteered to prove Davids honesty. Now do so.

The atmosphere at home soured; Colin spoke to Alice with an air of defeat.

July brought an unbearable heat. In the evenings, Alice would find Colin browsing online for jobs never ringing, never applying.

Todays the thirtieth, you know, she reminded him one night. Two-thirds of summer gone, and not a farthing of rent.

Hes still waiting for his payment but

But as soon as it comes, so will ours.

He really means it, Alice! He promised to pay first thing, and even throw in a bonus for all the trouble.

I no longer believe him. You gave your word. You said youd pay. So, wheres your extra job, Colin?

Clearly, the notion of evening work inspired as little enthusiasm in Colin as the prospect of working double shifts inspired dread. Easy to promise in words, less so in practice.

Im looking! But the jobs arent great, you know. Cant be lugging boxes around not with my back.

Then best persuade your brother to do some heavy lifting himself. You gave your word, or Ill ring David myself and tell him, if I dont see half the rent by Friday, hes out on his ear and Ill see him in small claims court.

A cold sweat broke across Colins brow.

Dont call David! Court, really? How will the family ever see me after that? What am I meant to say to Mum that I took my own brother to court, Alice? No one will understand.

David refused to pay, Colin refused to honour his word or take up work, nor would he face his brother in court. In a flash, he decided to blame Alice for the entire predicament.

You know what? You clearly care more about money than your hardworking husband! Not a scrap of pity for me, slaving through another job just to repay you, my own wife.

No one forced you to, Colin. You insisted.

But I didnt think David would let us down.

I did, Alice replied coolly. Because Ive seen it too often before. You wouldnt listen.

Yes, alright, I get it! Colin cried, adopting the wounded victims posture. But you, Alice, you just keep on piling it on! Sending me off to pay your own brothers debts shows you dont care for me. Moneys worth more than my health, is it! What if I have a heart attack? Still make me keep at it…

Im not making you just demanding you keep to terms *you* set.

Fine! Colin snapped. Ill get another job and pay for David, shall I? If moneys so precious to you. So be it!

Colins plan crumbled, but Alice got her way: he found evening work as a courier, glowering at her over the dinner table.

All your doing, this is… he muttered once, bitterly.

Mine?

Yes!

Perhaps this is the only way youll learn, Alice said. Its easy to play the good Samaritan with someone else footing the bill. Pay up for your brother then perhaps youll see.

In truth, Alice still hoped there was some decency left in David and hed step forward at last. Shed barely finished that thought when David himself phoned her, not Colin.

Could she have misjudged him? Would he finally pay up?

Alice, theres something I need to ask…

David, Ive no time for your favours. You owed Augusts rent by now were still owed July. Its not my problem anymore, its Colins; he vouched for you.

Colin told me, yes! Poor fellow. But listen, I ran into a bit of trouble. The car broke down, and all our moneys gone on repairs. Just need enough to get the family back as for the rent, well, Ill sort that later…

Predictable.

Alice hung up without a word.

Colin, overhearing, read everything from her expression.

Alright, he admitted. I was wrong to trust him so much. But you you never gave me a chance to be mistaken! Instead of being supportive, you just rub it in…

Am I meant to smile and say, Never mind, Colin, let them have a free holiday and Ill just muddle through? You insisted on paying yourself!

I did! he grumbled. But I never thought youd so gladly send me to ruin my health for it! Do you even care about me?

Does your brother care about you?

Hes not a bad chap it just happened this way…

Splendid. Hes not bad while leaving me out of pocket and making you cover for him, but Im the villain for merely wanting what Im owed?

Colin faltered, lost for words.

It seemed a storm was brewing between them, one not easily weathered.