The Poison of Envy
“Tom, I’m scared Grace gripped a tissue between her fingers, her voice trembling as she got to the end of the sentence. She looked up at him, and her eyes were full of real fear. The messages again
With a shaky hand, she dug her phone out of her bag, unlocked it, and held it out to Tom. He took it, brows knitting together as he scrolled through the texts: “Thank you for a lovely evening,” “Already missing you,” “When will we meet again?” “Looking forward to seeing you soon,” “I’ll wait for you after work at our spot.” A deep frown appeared on his face.
“When did you get the last one?” he asked in that steady, almost matter-of-fact tone of his as he passed the phone back.
“Just five minutes ago. Right as we ordered,” Grace swallowed, her chest tightening. Its happened several timesalways when were together. Like somebodys watching us knowing where we are every minute.”
Tom leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin. His eyes had that sharp look they got when he was thinking things through.
“Show me all of the messages. And the dates,” he said, his voice calm and firmnot the least bit rattled.
Grace, hands still shaking, scrolled through the thread for him. Toms face was unreadable as he noted the times and content of each message, but he was clearly deep in thought. More messages appeared: “Can’t stop thinking about you,” “Remember our last talk? Waiting to continue,” “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” With each message, the sense of someone lurking in the background grew strongera presence trying to wedge itself between them.
“Strange,” Tom finally said, his voice cold steel. “Its too calculated. Like someone wants me to think youre seeing someone behind my back. And theyre picking their moments too precisely. Its almost clinical.”
Grace let out a shaky breath, shoulders slumping as if a load had landed there. She was only twenty-fiveworked as a designer at a small agencyand all she’d really wanted was a proper relationship, not for the status or the money, but for the kindness, trust, and understanding. Tom, ten years older, a solicitor with an easy smile and a knack for really listening, had made her feel safe. That was rare. Priceless, even.
Theyd been seeing each other for half a year now. And in that time, Grace had learned to appreciate his calm, his wit, the way he genuinely cared about what she thought or felt. He didnt push, didnt rush. But he didnt hide, either, that he saw in her his future wife. And lately, more often than not, Grace had caught herself entertaining the idea.
Ive no idea whod do this, she whispered, voice wobbling. I dont have secret admirers, Tom. And I havent given anyone a reason And these detailsour spot, our last talkits like someone wants to paint a picture of a relationship that never existed. Like someones playing with uspulling strings.
Let me sort this out, Tom cut in with determination. I know some people who can look into these numbers. I really dont think this is random. Its all too deliberate.
Over the next few days, Tom was tied up with checks and calls. Meanwhile, Grace buried herself in work and catch-ups with friends, anything to distract herself from the relentless knot of anxiety in her stomach. Still, every time she glanced at her phone, she braced herself for the worst, and every time nothing appeared, she managed only a short reliefthe fear always crept back.
On the fifth day, Tom rang her in the evening.
Grace, I know who it is, he said, sounding more serious than shed ever heard him. The texts were sent from anonymous pay-as-you-go SIMs. But I found out who bought them. Its Rachel.
Grace froze, nearly dropping her phone. Rachel. Her old uni friend, twenty-eight, recently divorced with two kids. Through everythinglaughs and late-night coffees and crying on each others shoulderstheyd always had each others backs. Still, things had felt a bit tense latelysubtle, like a crack in the glass.
Rachel had often complained about her loneliness, how dating as a mum was impossible, and how her life felt like nothing but bills, kids, and disappointment.
Rachel? Grace whispered, her heart thudding painfully. But why, Tom? Why would she do this?
I think you already know, Tom sighed, his tone heavy. Shes envioussimple as that. You have freedom, success, and a good man. She feels left behind. I reckon she was hoping youd start explaining yourself to me, and Id get suspicious of you.
A couple of weeks ago, Grace, Tom and Rachel had ended up at a house party together. Candlelight on the walls, music drifting through the lounge, everyone buzzing from prosecco and canapés.
Grace had worn a deep emerald dress that fluttered with every movement. It set off her brown eyes and figure, and Tom hardly left her side, always bringing her a drink or drawing her into a conversation.
You two look like something straight out of a glossy mag, Rachel said, forced smile on her lips as she came over. She stood just apart, arms crossed, tugging at her plain beige jumper. Everythings perfect: the dress, the man, the smiles.
Grace had genuinely smiled. Thanks. Honestly, I wasnt sure the dress would suit me.
Yeah, well, Rachel tugged at her sleeve, glancing down. Wish I could, but with two kids, its not really about swanky dresses. All the money goes elsewhere
Rach, come on, you look beautiful in that jumper. Thats your stylealways a bit chic, Grace had tried, touching her arm with a laugh.
Rachel laughed, short and sharp. “Some women get everything on a plate, and some have to choose between a new dress and their kids school shoes. Or between a hairdo and paying for Maxs after-school club…” Her voice wobbled. She turned away, fixating on the art above the fireplace. Tom, ever tactful, redirected the conversation towards a new restaurant hed found, inviting everyone. Grace joined in, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rachel standing by the window, watching her and Tom with a look so full of longing it hurt.
Another little warning bell had gone off over coffee in a tiny café, autumn rain pecking at the big glass window. Grace had told Rachel about a recent weekend with Tom in the countrysidewalking through golden woods, collecting leaves, joking about nothing, grilling sausages, sitting by a fire beneath the stars.
Sounds lovely, Rachel said, clinking her spoon against her cup, a little too hard. All that romance, all that nature, and the perfect guy.
It was, Grace wrapped her hands round her mug. Were thinking of going back in the wintertrying to ski if Tom gets the patience to teach me. Maybe youd come?
Rachels eyebrows just lifted. Skiing? Maybe if I ever have time. Im always at nursery, at the doctors, cooking dinner, helping Max with homework, picking Lila up from club Not all of us get to escape for a country getaway. Some of us live in reality.
She wasnt angry, exactlymore tired. Cat, another friend, tried to help: Rach, come on. Grace is just happy, thats all. Its nice hearing someones good news for once.
Im not having a go, Rachel replied sharply, slamming her cup down. Im just saying: for some, lifes a party; for others, its Groundhog Day. Grace can jump in the car and run off. The rest of us plan for weeks and still, somehow, it all goes wrong.
Grace had winced inside. Shed wanted to say something comforting, but nothing came. Instead, shed just squeezed Rachels hand and offered, Maybe we could do a day togethertake all the kids down the park, cook hotdogsitd be fun!
Rachels eyes shimmered briefly, but she shook her head and pulled away. “Thanks, but dont. Theyll just get tired and fussy. You go, enjoy your freedom, while you can.”
At the time, Grace hadnt thought much of any of thisjust put it down to stress. But now, remembering those moments, it was obvious: Rachels envy had been there for ages, like an ache, not really anger but a deep hurt she didnt know how to show. The forced smiles, the way she went quiet when Tom was mentioned, all those little signs were there.
What do we do? Grace finally asked, her voice barely hiding a new kind of determination.
We face her. Tonight. It cant go on, Tom said firmly.
They drove to Rachels, and when she opened the door to see both of them, the colour drained from her face. Her hands balled up at her sides.
You? Whats wrong? she stammered, her fear clear.
Stop it, Rachel. We know it was you texting Grace. We have proof, Tom said, unflinching.
Rachel stumbled back, dropped against the wall. Her lips twisted in anger, but tears brimmed in her eyestears of hurt and something much deeper.
Alright, yes, it was me! she snapped. What? Am I meant to just stand by and watch Grace get everything while Im left with two kids and nothing? Shes always been the lucky one! Pretty, free, no worries! And me? Just a burden, right?
She was shaking, tears streaming now, and the walls she’d kept up for years were gone.
You have no idea what its like, she went on, each word a blow. Every time you told me about your weekends or dates, I almost choked from jealousy. You dont get it at all! I just wanted you to feel for once what I doyour perfect little world with a crack in it. I wanted you to know what its like when nothing goes right!
Grace’s heart physically ached. She looked at Rachel, the friend she had leaned on through everything, and barely recognised hera stranger, bitter and raw.
“So you thought making Tom suspect I was cheating would fix you? Grace said quietly, grief in her voice, not accusation. You wanted to ruin my life because youre unhappy?
What else was I supposed to do?” Rachel said, letting out a jagged, broken laugh. Youve always been the star. Even men who look at me drop me after a month or two. Because: kids, problems, Im not light and fun like you!
Tom stepped forward, shielding Grace. Thats enough, he said. His voice was sharp, final. He stood between them, a protective presence.
Rachels guard faltered a little; the shame was clear in her eyes, before anger rushed in again.
What, so now youll call the police? she sneered. Whod bother listening to you about some silly texts?
We dont want the police, Tom replied simply. We just want you to leave Grace alone. No more messages. Ever.
Rachel locked eyes with Grace, her face softening for a split second, hurt so deep behind the look that it almost broke your heart. But she quickly forced it away. Don’t act like you didnt know I was jealous! You always take centre stage. Even at my birthday, everyone just talked about you, your new job, your dress. I stood in the corner with a cake, nobody asked how I wasnobody cared.
That memory flashed in Graces mindbright and clear. Shed been on a high that night: laughing, chatting, her dress perfect. Rachel had hung back, barely joining in. Grace never thought twice at the time.
Rach,” Grace whispered, her voice catching, I never wanted to outshine you. I was just happy. But I never saw it as a competition. Youre my frienda sister, really
How else should I see it? Rachel raked her hands through her hair, trying to hold back the storm inside. Youre gorgeous, successful, loved. Ive got two kids, a mortgage hanging over me, and memories of a husband who left. Of course, Im jealous! I just wanted you to feel alone for once, to know what its like when everyone else is happy except you.
Tom listened, serious but gentle. When Rachel finished, he said, Envys your own battle. But you chose to hurt someone else instead of dealing with it. Thats not fair.
Rachel seemed to crumble, as if his words struck her physically. She tried to speak, failed, then bowed her head and broke down in weary sobsshoulders shuddering, tears flowing.
Im sorry, she whispered through the tears. I never meant for it to go this far. Its just all the years bottling things up. First the divorce, then being alone, then every day the same with no break. I fell apart.
Graces own chest ached with a weird mix of hurt and real pity. She looked at Rachelnot a schemer now but a woman so battered by her own feelings shed lost her way completely.
Another scene flickered into memorya couple of weeks back, at the café, when Rachel had stared into her coffee and said, Sometimes I think you live on a different planet, Grace. Everything works for youwork, love, even your hobbies. Im stuck, always starting over. Nursery, school, shopping, making dinner, laundry, repeat. Sometimes I wake up wondering: is this really it?
Grace had squeezed her arm. But, Rach, youre brilliant. And youve got gorgeous kids! Maybe I can help with your CV, or finding work closer to home? Youre a cracking designer.
But Rachel just shrugged it off, voice quivering: Nobody wants a mum with endless sick days. They see the baggage, not the skills. Youre free and it burns a bit.
Back then, Grace only thought Rachel was venting. But now it was clearthose werent complaints, they were cries for help she hadnt heard.
“Rachel,” Grace said softly, her voice shaking, “I had no idea you were struggling like this. If youd told me, we couldve figured something out. But what youve done its hurt me. You tried to wreck my relationship. Thats not something you can just brush aside.”
I know, Rachel replied quietly, dabbing her red eyes on her sleeve. Dont expect you to forgive straight away. Just know I didnt mean to cause so much trouble. I just lost myself. I thought that if your happiness was cut down, Id get a piece of my own. Pathetic, isnt it?
Tom reached over, resting a hand on Graces shoulder.
“Let’s leave it here,” he said. “Grace, can you accept this?”
Grace paused, weighing her words as she looked at Rachelher ruined face, hunched up with misery. It wasnt all anger anymore; something softer grew.
“I accept you did this out of pain, not pure malice,” she said, looking Rachel in the eyes. “But I cant go on with our friendship if you cant celebrate my good bits too. I need a friend at my side, not a shadow who feeds off my happiness.
Rachel nodded, a lone tear streaking down her cheek. Thanks for listening, anyway, she muttered. Sorry I couldnt just talk it out like a proper person.
Grace and Tom slipped out into the cool, evening air. Streetlamps had just come on, throwing golden circles onto the wet roadsthered been a quick rain, and everything smelled fresh, with that crisp scent of fallen leaves. Grace breathed in, slowly feeling the weight fall away.
I feel empty, Tom, she said, pressing into his side. I know its all resolved, but it hurts. Like Ive lost something crucial.
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. Thats natural, he said softly. When a friend betrays you, it always cuts deep. Still, at least now the truths out. And Im here. Youre not alone.
Grace gave a small smile, looking up at him. There were still tears in her eyes, but already, somewhere inside, hope was sparking into life again. Yes. Onwards. Together.
They walked on through the pooling light, every step a little lighter. Grace knew thered be work to domending trust, mending herself. But with Tom beside her, she felt safe again. And somehow, that was enough.
