My grandma Nancy was a significant part of my childhood, as she spent a lot of time with me and accompanied me on walks. She also bought me books so I could draw and gave me all her time and attention. Spending time with my grandmother was one of the things I loved most because she fulfilled all my requests and wishes. She used to make me tiny cutlets because she always maintained that “small cutlets are for small children.”
The problem is that even when my mother and I visited her, I never saw my father call her. He always insisted that he had a lot of work to do or wasn’t feeling well, so he never came to Grandma’s with us. What about guests? On holidays, my father tried to avoid my grandmother’s house.
After ignoring this as a child, I began to think about it as an adult. I asked my father several times, but he kept changing the subject, and so did my mother until I asked her recently, but my mother did not answer.
The truth is that my grandmother has never loved my father. This was not out of any specific reason. It just happened. When my grandmother and mother were dating, she had nothing to do with him. But, after they got married and my mother gave birth, my grandmother decided that my father was not a worthy spouse for my daughter.
My grandmother became angry when my mom and dad lived in a tiny old rented apartment. She was mad that my dad could not provide suitable living conditions for his wife and daughter. As a result, she told my mom that my dad was not a trustworthy husband. “A normal family man would never allow his family to live in a filthy rented apartment!” she said.
I think that sometimes my dad wasn’t always right, and sometimes he didn’t do the right thing; for instance, he did not work for a while because he couldn’t find a good job, but I think my grandmother shouldn’t have interfered with their affairs. My mother had to contend with all this because this was her husband, and she had to live with him. My grandmother only added fuel to the fire, and my parents quarreled.
Nancy wanted to ensure that all her relatives had proper living conditions, but what could she do? She offered to let us live with her until our parents had saved enough money to purchase a house, but my father refused. Later, she bought a two-bedroom house and invited us to move in. Even though my father disapproved, my mother was willing to do it because she could not stand living in a small apartment any longer.
Even though they had problems with each other because of Nancy, the father was able to resolve everything. However, he still did not wish to communicate with my grandmother. Therefore, he tried to avoid the meeting as much as possible.