Were coming to see you. Just for two days, mind.
Emma, were coming to visit! Already bought the train tickets! This is how Emmas distant relative started the conversationdistant enough that Emma couldnt immediately recall just who this woman was.
Emma stared in disbelief at her phone, racking her brain for any clue as to who this could be, why she was calling, and more importantly, how she even knew Emmas name.
Sorry, who is this? Whos coming to visit?
A tittering womans voice replied, Oh, Emma, dont be silly! Its meyour Aunt Ruth!
Try as she might, Emma couldnt remember any Aunt Ruth. Nevertheless, she cautiously asked, And what brings you down?
To visit, of course! You live by the sea now, dont you? Its only for a couple of daysjust for my son, Tom, he really needs it
A brisk conversation followed, and Emma learned that TomAunt Ruths young sonsupposedly needed the seaside air for his health. Or so Ruth claimed. Ruth promised not to be any trouble, would tidy up after themselves, and help however they could. With some reluctance, Emma agreedfeeling a nagging sense of foreboding.
Thank you, Emma! Ruth trilled down the line. Well be there on Friday!
She rang off just as quickly as shed called. Emma sighed and turned to her twelve-year-old son, Oliver.
What is it, Mum? More visitors?
Yes, some woman claiming to be Aunt Ruth, Emma shrugged.
You should ring Grandma and ask who she is! Oliver grimaced. He wasnt fond of these gueststhey never did what they promised.
Lately, Emma had refused most visitors, but since Ruth said Tom was ill, she felt compelled to help. Besides, it was meant to be just for a couple of days.
Emma had bought her beachfront cottage in Brighton three years ago after splitting up with her husband. She and Oliver moved, and all of a sudden, distant relatives seemed to surface out of nowhere.
At first, Emma had been happy to meet them, but soon realised many just wanted a free holidaythe sort whod not even wash their own teacups, let alone help with anything. Some even treated her home like a hotelexpecting her to cook, clean, and cater to their every whim.
She soon put an end to that, telling them point-blank: her home wasnt a B&B. A few chancers still showed up, but shed started turning them away at the door. There were a handful who genuinely pulled their weight, and them she was pleased to see, but such visitors were few and far between.
Now, following Olivers advice, Emma phoned her mumstill living in London, but popping down to visit a few times each year.
Hello, Emma, her mum answered.
Hi Mum, how are things?
After catching up on news, Emma broached the topic of Aunt Ruth and her son Tom.
No idea who they are, Mum puzzled. Must be proper distantmaybe from your dads side? Ill ask him, but I doubt he knows either.
So, the call yielded nothing. Emma could only wait for her mystery relatives to arrive.
Sure enough, two days later, Ruth showed up: a large, sharp-eyed woman, along with Tomnot a little boy at all, but a fifteen-year-old lad. It later turned out, no doctor had recommended sea airRuth just fancied a cheap holiday. Typical.
Why didnt you meet us at the station? were Ruths first words. For the record, Emmas dad hadnt recognised her either.
Mum doesnt need to do that, Oliver grumbled beside Emma.
Ruth pretended not to hear, but shot him a cross look.
Emma, where should we put our things? Which rooms are ours?
Youll have to share a room, Emma frowned. I havent got enough space for everyone to have one.
Oh, really? Wed heard you had a beautiful big house near the sea!
No idea who told you that. If youre not happy and this is how youre going to carry on, maybe youd be better off staying at a hotel, Emma stated firmly. Im not starting this visit with rows.
Ruth quickly pasted on a smile. Come, Emma, dont send us packing. Im a bit overtired from travelling. Lets get inside, shall we, my dear niece?
She marched inside first, Tom following, lugging bags. Oliver glanced at Emma.
Mum, you shouldnt have let them in. Youll seethis is a mistake.
Just two days, Emma assured himand herself.
Luckily, the rest of the day passed quietly. Ruth and Tom went to bed early, though not without moaning about having to share. There were two spare rooms, but they were being renovated; Emma also offered the lounge, but both refused, so she left them to it.
The night was peaceful, but in the morning, Emma was woken by a racket. Peering at the clockonly sixshe groaned. She was not a morning person and hated being woken early. Oliver always crept about or went for walks so as not to disturb her.
Whats going on? Emma asked, yawning as she shuffled into the living room.
Nothing, dear, Ruth announced, standing among a mound of clothes strewn everywhere. Cant find my swimsuit, silly me
Couldnt you have done that in your roomquieter, perhaps?
Its too cramped! But I was being quiet
Turns out, the real disturbance was outsideTom was battering a metal bucket, apparently bored and waiting for his mum. Ruth didnt hurry.
Could you tell him to stop banging that, please? The neighboursll go spare Emma said sharply.
Ruth grumbled but yelled for Tom, who sulked over to a bench beneath the tree.
No chance of going back to sleep, Emma headed for the kitchen.
Where are you off to?
For coffee, Emma muttered.
Lovely. Make mine a large one, with milk and three sugars!
Emma stopped dead, fixing Ruth with a glare. Ruth, I dont recall your middle name, but youre a guest in my home. Youve been complaining since you arrived, woke me up at dawn, and now youre barking out orders for coffee?
Well, its hardly early now, is it? Ruth sniffed. And Im Ruth Margaret, by the way. So, about that coffee?
Were self-service here!
Emmas mood was thoroughly soured. While she attempted to calm down over her coffee, Oliver padded in and gave her a sympathetic pat on the arm.
I told you, Mum. You can see theyre a cheeky lot. Still time to kick them out!
One more day, Oliver. Well manage Emma sighed.
Its only just started! They woke me, too.
Footsteps signalled Ruths return; she entered the kitchen, face like thunder.
No coffee?
Mum doesnt have to make it! Do it yourself! Oliver defended her again.
Emma, havent you taught your son to hold his tongue when adults are speaking?
Leave my son out of it! Emma flared, though she was usually laidback.
Im not a child, Oliver growled.
Without another word, Ruth clattered about making her own coffee, then turned to Emma as if nothing had happened.
Emma, will you show us the way to the beach? Take us down?
You just walk down the pathyoull see the sea. Its straightforward.
Emma matched her tone, seeing no point being polite.
What, youre not coming?
Oliver looked at his mum; clearly he didnt want to go anywhere with their houseguests.
Well go later, after lunch. Best you head off yourselves.
Whats for lunch, anyway? Ruth pried.
Emma usually cooked for herself and Oliver, and for guests who contributed to the shopping. She certainly couldnt afford to feed freeloaders. So she said what she often did:
Oliver and I sort our own meals. Youll find a café nearby.
Couldnt you cook for us? I cant bear eating out. Ruth pleaded.
Happy to. For a set charge. Im not made of money, Emma answered honestly.
Easier just to go to the café, thenprobably tastier! Ruth huffed, tossing her head.
Oliver snorted but said nothing.
So it went: two days of endless friction and petty quarrels. But then, on the second day, Ruth revealed her real plan. When Emma reminded her it was time to go, she gave an arch look and said:
Come on, Emmathrow us out, would you? We planned for a whole week. Well stay with you and be off when its over. Wont hurt you, will it?
It would hurt. Emma had been rising at dawn and suffering Ruths demands for two days, and didnt like her at all. Tom, whilst still a boy, was troublesometripping up Oliver, littering or making noise despite being asked not to. Even the neighbours started complaining.
It does matter. This is my house, and my friends are coming soon. Youll need to leave tomorrow. We agreed on two days, and thats up.
Emma spoke calmly and with certainty. Ruth clearly wasnt used to being turned downher eyes went wide and she practically howled:
How can you do this to your own family? Throwing us out onto the street! Where will we go, the train station? Whatever shall we do?!
Tom stood awkwardly, clearly embarrassed by his mothers outburst.
Youre not familyno one in my family even remembers you! Youve got until morning. If anything goes missing or gets broken, Ill call the police.
With that, Emma strode from their room, privately delighted at her victory. Early the next morning, Ruth and Tom left, grumbling all the waybut they had no choice. After that, Emma swore shed never let in such relatives againnot even for a couple of days.
