**Diary Entry**
I’ve been married four years, and in all that time, I’ve been the one carrying the weight of our life together.
I’m 32, living in Manchester, and for four long years, my husband, Thomas, has been nothing but a burden. He’s eight years older, and I’m exhausted from silently enduring his selfishness. Today, I finally demanded he contribute—money, effort, anything—but instead of stepping up, he lashed out, hurled accusations, and threatened to leave. My life has become a farce, and I don’t know how much more I can take.
We’ve been married four years, yet I’ve never once felt safe or cherished. Thomas was divorced before we met, with a daughter from his first marriage. When that fell apart, he moved back in with his parents and lied to me, saying he was staying at a mate’s place. I forgave it, foolishly hoping love would smooth everything over. He works as a sales manager, always stressed, always snapping, taking his frustrations out on me. Not once has he offered comfort or kindness—just relentless temper.
Whenever life got hard and I needed him most, Thomas packed a bag and bolted to his mum’s. Once, I cracked after a week alone, begging him to come back. We live in my flat, the one I bought before we married, and I pay every bill—groceries, utilities, everything. He’s never shown me a penny. Claims he’s saving for “our dream home” in the Lake District, where we’ll supposedly be happy. But day by day, that dream feels emptier. His promises are hollow. I’m tired of fairy tales.
Last winter, the heating bills soared. I worked up the courage to ask for help, and he swore he’d chip in—then nothing. A month passed, still nothing. My patience ran out. I can’t keep bankrolling a grown man who sponges off me. What if we have children? Will they have to work just to feed their own father? It’s madness. At the end of the month, I confronted him: “Are you paying your share or not?” Instead of answering, he exploded, called me ungrateful, and started shoving clothes into a suitcase, threatening to walk out again.
I don’t understand why he treats me like this. What did I do to deserve it? My heart’s breaking under the weight of his indifference. Every time he leaves and slinks back, it chips away at me. Four years I’ve carried this alone, but I’m done. How much longer can I hold myself together before his neglect finishes me?
**Lesson learned:** Love shouldn’t mean drowning just to keep someone else afloat.
