How can I make my husband’s daughter go live with her grandmother? I can’t accept his child.
I married a man with a daughter from his first marriage. Her mother abandoned her and moved abroad with her new partner, leaving the child with her father. Now I’m living in hell, trying to coexist with another woman’s child in our home in the quiet town of Winchester. I dreamed of a happy family, but instead, I got a spoiled, ill-mannered girl who makes my life miserable. Now that I’m pregnant, I need her to go live with her grandmother—but how do I make her want to leave?
When Anthony and I first started dating, his daughter, Emily, mostly stayed with her grandmother. I barely saw her and thought I could accept her as part of his life. But after the wedding, everything changed. My mother-in-law declared she couldn’t cope with raising a child anymore and moved Emily in with us. I tried to bond with her, but all my efforts were met with indifference and rudeness. She ignores me like I don’t exist. Worse—she acts like she owns the place, leaves messes everywhere, and complains about me to her father or grandmother at every opportunity.
Every day, I hear lectures from my mother-in-law: “Be more patient, Sarah, try harder!” Anthony pleads with me to be understanding, but why should I indulge a twelve-year-old who speaks to me with blatant disrespect? She’s not my child, and I refuse to be her babysitter. I’ll soon have my own baby, and I won’t tolerate her tantrums. Why does no one discipline her, put her in her place? Anthony and his mother spoil her, excusing her rudeness and laziness. If this continues, she’ll grow up entitled and selfish.
Emily is careless and idle. She leaves dirty dishes, scatters clothes everywhere—and I’m the one who cleans up after her. Her sly, manipulative behaviour shocks me. She deliberately provokes me. Anthony works late, so we’re often alone together. She’s old enough to manage, but my husband and his mother insist she can’t be left by herself. Why must I sacrifice my time and sanity? I want to work, relax, live my own life!
My mother-in-law drops by for a few hours, coddles Emily, then lectures me: “Why don’t you play with her? Why aren’t you guiding her?” She genuinely believes I’m obliged to mother Anthony’s daughter. Their demands suffocate me. If they didn’t expect the impossible, maybe I could adjust. Instead, I regret tying myself to a man with baggage. Emily will never feel like family, and I won’t pretend.
Pregnancy makes everything harder. I want peace, to prepare for my own child—not waste energy on someone else’s daughter. Emily belongs to Anthony’s past, but I shouldn’t suffer for it. How do I make her leave without tearing us apart? I’m at my breaking point, and I need a way out.
Sometimes the hardest lessons are the ones we have to teach ourselves—forcing love only breeds resentment, but kindness, even when unreturned, might just change everything.
