Hey love, youve got to hear the drama that just unfolded at my flat. So Tom and I I mean Mollie and I weve been together a solid year now, married on a proper whirlwind of love, and everything was just peachy until yesterday. We first met on a scorching summer day on the high street, both walking opposite ways, locked eyes, tripped over each others gazes, turned at the same time, burst out laughing and started chatting. He walked me home, we said goodnight under the streetlights, met again the next morning and never let go after that.
Fast forward to now, and everything was sweet as honey until Mollie got a massive case of jealousy over an old schoolmate we ran into at the shopping centre. She barely recognised the woman with the overdone lips; it was actually her classmate, Jenna Varley.
Didnt you recognise me? Mollie snapped, pulling at her sleeve. Or have you forgotten me? I saw you from across the mall, you havent changed a bit still that bland look.
Nora, whod just joined us, tried to smooth things over. Fancy a coffee? My feet are killing me, Ive been on the run all morning buying things for Dads birthday. Weve got a list and I cant even find half of it.
Tom was all for it, Sounds good, I could use a bite. Ill get something to eat. Mollie didnt mind either she hadnt seen Nora in about ten years since we finished school.
We all ordered: Tom got a steak and veg, the girls went for icecream. Then Nora started poking around. Remember Val, the bloke who used to chase me? she asked Mollie, glancing at Tom. Denise, right? I swear he was lurking in the changing rooms.
Mollie rolled her eyes, Im pretty sure you were keeping an eye on him in the locker room.
Nora went on, He was stuck on me for two years, moved up to Manchester now, family there, got a decent job. Whod have guessed? And what about Jennas mate, Zena? Shes nowhere to be seen.
She rattled off a string of old classmates Vince Phelps who always asked me to dance at the prom, Graham who got married then divorced, and even my dads mate whos now a farmer. Why are you bringing up Graham? Tom muttered, halflistening to the chatter.
Mollie, feeling the heat, fished a compact mirror and a tube of lipstick from her bag, freshened up, and said, Tom, you finished your steak? Weve got to get going.
We all rose, said our goodbyes, but Nora lingered. Are you driving? Could you give me a lift? Im not keen on lugging my bags on the tube. She flopped into the front seat next to Tom, draped her shopping bags on her lap and tossed her hair.
What, you think were rolling in a Rolls? Our cars a proper clunker, the bank wont give us a decent loan. I could’ve helped my husband get a nicer ride.
Tom laughed, Right, love? Were just trying to make ends meet, not buy a Ferrari.
Nora kept at it, Honestly, you need a more reliable car. My brother in Europe got a proper motorhome, you cant compare that to what youve got. Ill give you his number, hell sort you out.
Mollie snorted, A businesswoman, huh? Helping your brothers business? Fine, give me the number, maybe Ill need it one day.
She was simmering, trying to hide her irritation behind a forced smile. As soon as we walked back in, she blew up. Are you the bad one or the good one? You didnt let the boy buy his car? Youre cheap, youre a liar! she shouted, grabbing Tom by the shoulders.
Whoa, calm down, Tom replied, baffled. Youre being dramatic, youre jealous, thats all.
Tell me something, did you even see us making eyes at each other? If I hadnt been in the car, youd already be smooching her! she hissed.
Enough. Im knackered of this pointless fight, Tom said, throwing his hands up.
Mollie, eyes flashing, declared, Divorce!
Really? Tom asked, halfdeadpan. What now?
Mollie said, Im done. Im taking the flat, the sofa, everything.
Tom tried to reason, The flats yours, but the stuff in it is ours. I bought most of it.
Fine, Ill split it, but Im taking the sofa. I paid for it with my own blood.
She slammed the door and called our parents.
Mollies mum, Margaret, swooped in, We gave you both a decent flat, paid for the wedding, even chipped in for the furniture and the car. Tom earns ten times more than you, hes been feeding you all year. If youre being fair, you should just hand over everything.
Toms dad, Gary, sat silently, wiping sweat from his brow, eyes darting between them. He finally muttered, Well need lawyers. Lets go to court.
The folks tried to mediate, but it turned into a fullblown audit of receipts. Well collect every receipt, every bank statement, Margaret declared, and youll both have to pay the others share.
Mollie, arms crossed, said, Im guarding the flat, no ones walking out with my stuff.
So its court then, Gary said, gathering papers.
When they were finally alone, Mollie sneered, You think you can take my sofa? Its mine, and I wont let you have a single thing else.
Tom tried to explain, We chose that sofa together, we both paid for it, and my salarys bigger, we couldve bought it with my money.
Mollie snapped, You think youre better because you earn more? I worked my butt off for a year cooking, cleaning, laundry, even doing the dishes, and you never let me sleep!
Tom laughed, So youre a freerange servant now?
Dont you think Im a cheap slave? she shot back. I bought you that sweater, the gloves, even the underwear!
Tom tripped over the coffee table, looked up and smirked, Alright, love, lets see whos left standing.
The sofa was super comfy, springy, the kind you just dont want to give up. The next morning, Tom woke up, catching Mollies eyes on his cheeky grin.
What are you laughing at? she asked.
Just thinking about how Im not ready to part with this brilliant sofa.
Mollie grabbed his ears, Swear youll never flirt with any other lippylipped woman again.
He giggled, I swear, no more flirting, Id do anything for this sofa.
And thats where we are stuck in a mess over a piece of furniture, both of us stubborn as mules, parents pulling us into the courtroom, and a sofa that might just be the only thing keeping us from walking out the door. Hope youve got time to grab a cuppa and listen to the rest soon!
