I first noticed James eyeing Ethel back when we were in Year9 at Brookfield Comprehensive. He seemed to find her wherever he looked, and she could feel his stare even from the back of the classroom. Occasionally shed catch him looking over his shoulder, and their gazes would lock for a split second.
Ethel, love, laughed Milly, her best friend, that James cant take his eyes off you. Im watching him too.
Ethel smiled, I know, I feel like hes piercing me with those dark eyes. She blushed, secretly thrilledshe liked the boy.
One afternoon, after the last lesson, James waited for her on the school steps, his nerves obvious.
Ethel, may I walk you home? he asked, voice a little shaky.
Ethel hesitated, but Milly gave her a gentle nudge, and she agreed.
Fine, were heading the same way, she replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
As they walked, James chatted, they laughed, and Ethels heart leapt. Their friendship blossomed into a school romance, and before long the whole school knew they were a couple. James stuck by her side, and whenever a pupil from another form tried to talk to Ethel, he brushed them off in a heartbeat.
Ethel had always been a pretty girl. When she first entered Year1, her teacher, Miss Clarke, couldt help but remark, My word, Ethel, youve got the most gorgeous eyes!
Near the end of their school days, Ethel and James both applied to the same university. They passed their Alevels with flying colours, finished their final year, and said goodbye to school, hello to adult life. After the exams, James suggested,
Ethel, why dont we go to my cottage tomorrow night? We can celebrate passing our exams we did well, didnt we?
Ethel sensed James was pushing for something more intimate. She pushed back, and he grew sulky.
Were adults now, forget your principles. Itll happen sometime, wont it? Youve read Romeo and Juliet, havent you? They were younger than us and no one judged them. Everyone admired their love, James urged.
Ethel listened, quietly agreeing in part, but fear gnawed at her. She didnt want to lose James, the boy shed grown so fond of.
Jamess frustration boiled over.
Come on, Ethel, just say yes!
I dont knowmaybe my mum wont let me stay overnight.
And what about my parents being there? Cant you think of something?
Getting permission from her mum proved difficult. Her mother stared at her and said sternly,
What more are you going to make up? I wont let you go. I know youll get up to something, and Ill have to clean up after.
Mom, Jamess parents will be at the cottage, and his older sister will be there too, Ethel bluffed, not blinking. You dont trust me?
After a moment, her mother waved her off.
Fine, go on. I cant keep tabs on you all the time. Its a bit improper for a girl to go to a lads cottage, though.
On the bus they held hands the whole way. Ethel was nervous; James seemed uneasy as well. She imagined what might happen, and it turned out exactly as she feared. As soon as they stepped inside, James hauled her by the arm to a sitting room where a sofa lay waiting. Seeing the sofa, Ethel tried to pull her arm free.
Come now, he said softly, dont be scared, and he wrapped his arms around her, guiding her onto the sofa.
A sudden flush of shame hit Ethel as the room was bright.
Its bright in here, James said, pulling back the curtains, and then he lunged at her.
Ethel pushed him away with all her strength, threw herself off the sofa and ran out of the house, hurrying toward the bus stop. No bus was in sight, and James appeared, blocking her path.
Im seeing you off, he said coldly. Dont try to make excuses, Im not listening to your nonsense.
At the graduation party he kept his distance. Milly kept asking where he was, and Ethel stayed silent. He never called after the party. A week later, swallowing her pride, Ethel rang James, only to hear his sister answer.
James has moved to London to start university. I thought youd know
Twenty years later, Ethel married Oliver, had a daughter, and settled into a tidy, predictable life. James now and then resurfaced in her thoughtshe never called, they never met, but he appeared in her dreams.
One night he dreamed of them walking handinhand across a meadow dotted with daisies, a river glittering in the distance. She smiled; he looked at her sadly, as if saying goodbye, then let go of her hand and vanished.
Ethel woke, glanced at Oliver, and sighed with relief.
He sleeps like a log. He always loves his naps
She didnt feel like sleeping, even though it was early. She slipped out of bed, headed for the shower, pausing at her daughters room where the little girl lay, bright hair fanned across the pillow, breathing softly. Under the hot water she thought,
Why does James keep showing up in my dreams? After each one I feel offbalance, a dull melancholy settles over me. I start picking fights with Oliver Maybe I shouldnt have married him? Weve lived these many years in a life thats tidy but dullno passion, no romance, just a steady schedule.
She prepared breakfast, hoping to rouse Oliver, but he emerged from the bedroom on his own. They ate together while their daughter enjoyed her summer holidays. Suddenly the phone rang.
Ethel, love, its Milly, chirped a familiar voice. Sorry for the early call, I know youre probably up, but listenour class is getting together for a reunion. Its the twentieth anniversary of our graduation.
Ethel had already missed the gathering twice.
Hey, Milly. Still the class clown, I see. When?
Next Saturday.
Saturday? Oliver and I were planning a weekend out in the country with his relatives
No worries, we can cancel, Milly replied firmly. Honestly, Ive heard youve missed the last two reunions.
My reasons were legitimate
Come on, Ethel, just show up. Otherwise well all have to chase you down!
Ethel laughed, Youre scaring me. Wheres it happening? At the pub?
Itll be at the restaurant, right here, Milly said, teasing. And youll love the surprise were celebrating at Jamess place.
Thats why he appeared in my dream, Ethel thought, a smile tugging at her lips.
Can you imagine? James built a massive twostorey house ands inviting us all over.
What about his family? Is his wife okay with it? Ethel asked, genuinely curious.
Mums away on a holiday in Spain with the kids. People get on with their lives, you know. Im divorced, but Im still keen on seeing you there.
Ethel promised, Alright, Ill be there. Just give me the address. She glanced at Oliver, who was about to head out the door.
What are you up to, love? What did you see at school? Oliver grumbled.
Nothing at all, Ethel replied. Im not even asking your permission; Im just doing what I want. We sit at home all the time, no outings. Im fed up with cooking, cleaning, laundryfeels like Im a servant in my own house.
Oliver smiled placidly, Dont complain, love. Think of me as a domestic tyrant, if that helps. In fact, go on and buy yourself a new dress; you deserve to look nice.
Thanks, I will, she said, feeling a little spark of excitement about the upcoming reunion.
The night before the event, sleep eluded her. Twenty years had slipped by since that first day of school, and the thought of meeting old classmates stirred a nervous thrill.
On the night of the reunion, Ethel stepped out of a taxi, pressed the buzzer at the wroughtiron gate of the gated estate, and a minute later the door swung open. James stood there, tall, handsome, looking every bit the respectable gentleman.
Welcome, dear guest, his voice rolled velvetsmooth, and she felt a shiver. Come in, unless youre still such a coward, he teased.
Hello, Ethel replied, walking inside.
James pulled her into a hug and planted a kiss on her cheek.
You look fantastic! Youve become even more beautifulscarily gorgeous, he said, eyes glinting.
She felt her cheeks flush, lowered her gaze, and followed him toward the house. He caught her hand, and they entered together.
Ethel! shouted Milly, leaping forward to give her a hug.
People drifted away as the evening wound down, and eventually everyone took their leave. James lingered, and as the last guests filtered out he turned to her.
Stay a bit, could you give me a hand with the dishes? he asked, sweeping his arms over the table.
Im not sure, she replied, hesitant.
Whats not sure? Milly chimed in, slyly. Someone has to help.
Fine, Ethel muttered, finally yielding.
When the house finally emptied, James seized her hands.
The dishes were just an excuse to keep you, he whispered.
Why? she asked, breathless.
I dont know, he murmured, rubbing his cheek against hers. Seeing you now, I realised how much Ive missed you all these years.
His hot breath brushed her neck. Ethel, youre youre something else, he said, shedding his jacket and pulling her onto the sofa. Youre fresh, beautiful, unlike the women Ive been withwives, other girls who only want my money.
The words hit her like scalding water.
Other girls! Lord, Im not some pastime for you. I would never betray my husband for any of that nonsense, she snapped, pushing him away, scrambling to her feet, and bolting out of the house. She reached the gate, and her phone rangOlivers voice bright as ever.
Sweetheart, on your way? he asked.
No, love, Ive called a taxi. Ill be home soon, she replied, trying to keep her tone even. Youre the best, you know that.
Cant wait to see you, Oliver laughed.
She got into the cab, and as the door shut Jamess angry shout echoed from the doorway.
Dont think youve escaped, youll always be the same pretty thing! He cursed.
Ethel slammed the cab door, the vehicle lurched forward, and she thought,
Let him stew in his own anger. Let his house stay cold. I finally broke free from his grip, forever.
