Paul, we need to have a serious talk, Eleanor began, her voice sharp as she faced her fatherinlaw, Paul, after only a couple of hours at his farmhouse in Brindle, the rolling hills of the English countryside. She darted nervous glances at Martha, her motherinlaw, who stood a little way off, hands clasped around a damp shawl.
Forgive me, but I didnt pull your son out of the village for nothing. I turned a pointless city boy into something useful. And now you want to turn my own son, Peter, back into a country yokel? I wont let that happen!
Whats happened, Eleanor? Martha asked, her voice trembling. Why are you speaking like that?
Because our Peter, after spending the whole summer with you, isnt the same boy he was before! Do you understand?
We dont, Paul replied, his brows furrowing. What do you mean before? Hes only eight!
Exactly! Eight years old, Eleanor snapped, her tone icy, and after your village hes turned into some sort of roughneck! Hes picked up terrible habits!
Terrible habits, you say? Pauls eyes widened. Has he started smoking?
Smoking? Of course not! Eleanor snapped. What else? Hes started calling cars horsesMum, look, a beautiful horse just whizzed past! Its nonsense! Its an insult to proper speech!
Paul merely grunted, clenching his fist, while Martha shot a displeased look at him.
Your words, Paul Martha murmured, glancing back at Eleanor. Child, dont worry. Horse isnt a curse; its a term of endearment, like a little pony.
Mother, are you serious? Eleanor burst out again. A city kid should never speak like that. I fear hes now swearing, using slang Ive never heard. After that summer, his vocabulary is full of strange expressions. It frightens me! Hes saying things like, Ill grip you by the gearbox! or Youll get a splitsecond in the differential. I cant make sense of it. He even wrote an essay saying he wants to be a tractor driver. You, Paul, taught him these dreams, didnt you?
Me? Paul forced a smile, trying to hide his amusement behind a feigned look of guilt. No, love. Hes just been watching the farm machinery and got a little carried away. Hes still a city lad at heart. He told us he wants to be a financier, maybe even the Chancellor of the Exchequer someday.
Thats what we hope forhim to become a financier, Eleanor sighed. But guess what hes done recently?
Marthas eyes widened. What?
We gave him a modest allowance, £20, as a future financiers seed money, telling him he could buy whatever he wanted for his birthday. Do you know what he bought?
What? Paul asked, wary.
He bought a set of chainsaws, or some sort of chains. He claimed the chains on your old mower were blunt beyond repair and that you and Peter should head into the woods next year to cut firewood for the sauna. Is that true?
Good heavens Martha breathed, shaking her head. That child
Yes, Paul said, reluctantly. Instead of a proper gift, he decided to help us. Dont worry, Eleanor, well reimburse you for those chainsaws down to the penny. Just tell us how much he spent.
It isnt about the money! Eleanor shouted. My boy should be thinking about school, not about firewood, horses, or tractors. He must aim to become a top scholar and head straight to university.
Youre right, dear, Martha said, smiling. Next summer well pull the best books from the village library at the community hall and sit with Peter under the apple tree, reading maths, English, everything. Well make a scholar out of him.
Exactly, Paul nodded. Just bring him over, and well turn him into the smartest child in the county. Hell outwit any local farmer with his knowledge. He already whizzes through his multiplication tables like a champ.
Martha chuckled, He sings his lessons, doesnt he? All the village grandmothers are swooning over him. They say, Peters mum is a proper mother indeed.
Eleanor frowned. What do you mean proper mother?
Its because you bring him to the countryside each summer. Children his age should eat fresh produce, breathe clean country air, bathe in the clear rivernot in some chlorinated swimming pool. He told us hes learned to swim like a fish.
Yes, he mentioned that, Eleanor admitted, finally cracking a smile.
And he rides his bike here without fearing a tipover lorry on the road. Hes no longer scared of bees or dogs, and his allergies have cleared up. We hardly need the doctors office any more.
After a year, youll forget the word almost altogether, Paul said. So, Eleanor, dont worry well ruin him. Hell gain so much health here that hell be set for life. Healthboth body and mindis what matters most.
Fine, Eleanor sighed, conceding. Youve calmed me a little.
When Eleanor left, Martha turned to Paul, a hint of irritation in her voice.
So, do you think theyll bring Peter back next summer?
Theyll have to, Paul answered uncertainly. Good thing Natalie didnt wander into the shed and see the tractor Im assembling for Pete. Shed have lost it. But otherwise everything will be fine. Hell still be saying horse for cars, just like I did as a boy. I remember my grandfathers words sticking to me like plaster
