Hey love, let me tell you a bit of my story its a long one, but I think youll get why I ended up where I am now.
When I hit fifteen, Mum and Dad decided they absolutely had to have another baby. So my little brother, James, came along. Everyone was all smiles and congratulations, but I wasnt in the mood to celebrate at all. I still cringe when I think back, but Ill share it with you anyway.
Mum was thrilled about having a daughter not because she adored me, but because I became a freerange babysitter. As soon as James turned one, she stopped nursing him overnight and went straight into fulltime work. My grandma would pop round in the mornings, and by the time I got home from school she was either asleep on the sofa or already back at her own place. James was essentially my charge. Hed cry a lot and I never seemed to know how to calm him down.
There was zero time left for me. I was changing his nappies, washing him, feeding him, and constantly whipping up fresh meals. If Mum and Dad walked in the house at night to find dishes piled up or laundry still hanging, theyd start on me, calling me lazy and a freeloader. Then Id finally sit down to my homework, which I hadnt had a chance to do earlier. School was a nightmare the teachers, pitying me, would hand me threepointer grades and Id get even more scoldings.
Dad would shout, The washing machine does the washing, the dishwasher does the dishes what are you doing all day? All you think about are parties! Mum would just nod along, as if shed forgotten what it was like to spend a few hours with a restless kid and actually get some housework done.
Sure, the machines do the heavy lifting, but someone still has to load the washer, hang the clothes and iron the ones from yesterday. I wasnt allowed to fire up the dishwasher during the day it sucked too much electricity so I had to handwash the kids plates. No one envied my daily floormopping, especially with James buzzing around, crawling and running everywhere.
Things eased a bit once James started nursery. Mum and Dad insisted I pick him up and feed him when I got home, which at least gave me a couple of hours in the afternoon to breathe. I tried harder at school and finally managed to finish a term without those pitiful threepoint marks.
I always dreamed of studying biology it was the only subject that sparked me. But Mum and Dad werent having it. The universitys in the city centre, youll be commuting an hour and a half each way. And when will you be back? James still needs to be looked after. Dont even think about it, theyd say.
Because they wouldnt budge, they found the next best thing: the vocational college just a short bus ride from our flat, where I learned to be a pastry chef. I can barely remember the first semester I was flatout miserable. Then I got into it, started enjoying making cakes, biscuits and all sorts of desserts.
From the second year I was working parttime on weekends at a little café down the road. Mum and Dad complained at first that I wasnt home, but at least I was carving out a bit of metime. After I finished my course, they gave me a fulltime contract.
Not long after, a new head chef joined the café. We started hanging out after closing, and Mum and Dad went back to their endless nagging. Dad would show up after my shift, trying to stop me from meeting my boyfriend for a walk. One weekend they organised a family gathering invited Grandma, Aunt Sue and her husband, the whole lot. They put me right in the middle of the room and told me to forget about getting engaged, dating or any sort of conversation.
Arent you quitting the café? Aunt Sue laughed. Ive got you a kitchenhand job at Jamess school.
Best news of the day! Mum shouted. James will always be looked after, and you can pop home straight after school. Youll finally have time to help us out.
Giving up a job where I was actually valued, paid fairly and even had a boyfriend working there? I imagined a bleak future: a drab school canteen with greasy schnitzels and sticky noodle bake, evenings spent on chores, my whole life revolving around James.
Until your brother finishes school, dont even dream about boys, Dad warned, as stern as ever.
The next day I spilled the whole thing to my boyfriend and we hatched a plan. Hed always wanted to open his own café, but he was short on cash. We thought about a bank loan or finding investors. At home I told Mum Id need another two weeks before I could quit. She agreed to wait out my notice period.
We never got the loan, but a friend of his worked as a manager in a big restaurant and offered him a new project in Manchester. He flew over for an interview, convinced the boss to let us chat over video. While I was talking about myself, he sent over a box of the desserts Id made hed kept them in a cooler.
On my last day at the café, I slipped out early, packed a bag with all my papers and savings, and hopped on the train to Manchester.
Now Im living my own life, doing what I choose, not what anyone else forces on me. I love James and truly hope well have a good relationship someday. I dont hold a grudge against Mum and Dad, but I know that if I stayed under the same roof in the same town, Id still be under their thumb. I wasnt strong enough to stand up then, so I ran. Im hoping our new city falls into place and that we both find happiness.
