Uninvited Guests Fill the House
Cant these lovely people live somewhere else? my wife asked. There are plenty of hotels about, you know!
Theyre not just here to crowd us up! I tried to reason. Theyre in a bit of a fix, thats all. Theyll sort things out and be off before we know it.
And as soon as they go, new ones arrive! Besides, I overheard yesterday that some chap named Nicholas Thompsonnever even met himhas been here for two years now!
Julia threw up her hands. How much longer can this go on? Its beyond a joke!
Whats all the fuss about? I wondered, making myself comfortable in bed.
That! Julia gestured energetically toward the window. The volleyball tournaments starting!
Brilliant! I grinned, stretching.
You must be joking! Julia scowled, shutting the curtains. Dont tell me you want to go and watch!
No, no. Id rather have a lie-in, I chuckled. And you should join me!
Julia sat at the edge of the bed. Tell me, which sane person organises an outdoor volleyball match at the start of December?
Why not? I shrugged. No frost, no snow, its dry out. Why not give the ball a go?
Theyll end up smashing half the windows! Julia protested. None of them are exactly prosthe balls bound to end up anywhere!
New windows can always be put in, I said, stretching again.
Julia shook her head sceptically and prepared to add more, but just then, we heard from downstairs:
Darlings! Breakfast is ready! Ive made cheese scones! You can flirt latercome on, while theyre hot!
Thats Aunt Margaretclassic as ever! I laughed.
For the record, making breakfast is a wifes privilege, Julia huffed.
You could make the coffee, I teased.
Darlings! The coffees going cold as well! Aunt Margaret called out again.
There you go! Julia glared toward the door. Will Aunt Margaret be taking my place in bed soon as well?
You exaggerate! I laughed, finding it all rather funny. Your spot in bed is always yours. Come on, lets not let breakfast go cold!
Julia sighed resignedly and slipped on her robe.
We didnt meet a soul on our way to the kitchenor even once inside.
How odd, Julia muttered. I was starting to think wed never get a moment alone in our own home!
Even here you get surprises, I smirked. Still, at least its lively! Well have breakfast, catch a bit of volleyball… And tonight, Roger Thompson is doing a barbeque!
Smoke, char, and something burntagain, Julia groaned, digging into her scones.
You mean the guesthouse? I laughed. Theyve already built a new one! Bigger and better than before.
Fantasticso we can host even more guests! Julia muttered. I cant even remember half their names anymore. We might as well pin badges on themmaybe include family trees, so we know whos who!
Wed get confused anyway, I joked. Their connections go so far backmy brothers wifes cousin by marriage… then the rest is anyones guess.
Julia just groaned. Youd go mad trying to keep track!
The conversation stopped thereAunt Margarets scones were simply divine. Later, in better spirits, Julia asked:
How long is this going to go on, Paul?
What do you mean? I knew what she was hinting at, but feigned innocence.
All these endless guests, Julia sighed. I mean, hospitality is one thing, but this is over the top! I tried to count yesterday. I lost track at thirty! Thirty people staying over, and none of them seem ready to leave. This isnt what I pictured for our life together.
But it is a family life, of sorts, I reasoned.
She rolled her eyes. A family? Whose? Even your brotherwho started all thishalf these people arent even related to him. Theyre from his wifes side!
Actually, if you get technical, Im sure theres a title for all these relations. I just dont know what it is, I admitted. Still, theyre a pleasant lot.
And cant the pleasant lot stay elsewhere? she pressed. There are enough B&Bs in the world.
Its not as if theyre here to scroungetheyre just in tough spots. When things get sorted, they move on!
And new ones show up. Plus, I heard yesterday that Nicholas Thompson has been living here two years, working at the village shop as an accountant. And Aunt Margaret, whose scones we just ate, is cleaning three houses nearby as a sort of housekeeper!
Well, people are making do, I smiled.
If this keeps up, Ill move back to the city. My flats still there. Id rather have just the two of us in my own space than live in this circus!
***
Julia knew marrying me was a gambleI was ten years her senior, and Julia was no naive girl herself; she was twenty-five when we met.
Straight off, people wanted to know: Why hasnt Paul married before? Whats wrong with him?
But the same could be said of Julia. Why isnt a woman of twenty-five already taken? Whats wrong with her?
Julia, though, understood her own reasons. Shed trained as an architect, and one degree doesnt feed you for long. She wanted both experience and a reputationand if she could fully support herself, shed have the right to choose a husband, not just settle for whoever came along.
She started in government, then moved to the private sectormuch more interesting, much better paid. The downside was dealing with clients, who werent always reasonable. But thats working life.
Serious relationships fell by the wayside.
I was in much the same boat. My brother Andrew started a firm as soon as he finished universitythen immediately married. To avoid being forever at work, he roped me in, lumping all the responsibility onto me just as I came out of national service.
So I had to earn my degree while managing the company at the same time. But I coped. Truth is, I barely remembered what a social life was. When Andrews first son was born, I sometimes didnt even make it home at night.
Once, I asked Andrew, Are you ever going to work again?
Paul, Ive had enough, he admitted sheepishly. I dont want to be a businessman.
Well, what do you want to be, then?
I want to work with my hands, proper shifts, and come home every night to my wife and son, he said dreamily.
Will you be able to live on those wages? I asked.
Were planning to move to Cornwall, Andrew said, pulling out paperwork. Ive signed the firm and all assets over to you. Youre running things wellkeep at it.
Leave a bank account so I can send you your share of the profits, I muttered, still reeling from the news.
After that, life got even more interesting for me.
At thirty-five, I realised my life had reached a steady pointit was time to think about family.
Spark flew right away between Julia and me, and after sorting through the red flags, love followed. Six monthswhy wait?and we got married.
We lived in Julias flat at first.
Love, I do adore you, but my place is a lot more convenient, shed say shyly. Its five minutes walk to my office, and Im awful at getting up in the morning!
Fine by me, I shrugged. I never bought a flat myself; easiest to rent. I could have, but never knew what or where. I want you to choosemy wifes choice is mine.
Ive always dreamed of living outside London, she said, But Im not sure theyll let me work remotely! Its not the norm; during lockdown, they still made us come to the office.
Just put it to themremote work, or youll go to a rival firm! I smiled. Or we could start our own firm, take them on!
Ill have a word first, Julia smirked.
I already have a place in the country, I said. Though…
Andrews only request before moving was: Paul, my wifes family might come up and need somewhere to stay while they sort things outdont turn them away. Theyre decent people, but dont let them take you for a ride either!
Where am I supposed to put themhotels? I protested.
Oh, by the way, we bought a house last year but never moved in. Thats yours now, too, Andrew waved, then left for Cornwall with his family.
Some of my wifes relatives are already staying. Its a big place, and theres a guesthouse out back. I doubt youll even notice each other.
Julia had no idea what to expect, but when she moved into the country house, she was met by a crowdenough to be intimidating. But everyone was so cheery, eager to help, and excited to see us.
After just a month, Julia had heard a thousand sad tales that had brought people here: some escaping messy divorces, others running from abusive partners; some were thrown out by their children, some by faithless spouses. Some only needed somewhere to stay during flat renovations, others had been swindled out of their own homes. Still others came for studies or because there was simply nowhere to go.
Guests ranged in age, profession, and temperament; one was even a professor, driven out by a student hed foolishly taken up withhe was now waiting for the proceeds from a split property.
Despite the chaos, the atmosphere in the house was warm.
Julia, meanwhile, still had to work. But a particularly fussy client wore her patience thin. One day, as Julia Zoomed her client in the kitchen, Geoffrey Martinone of the guestsoverheard and stepped in front of the camera:
With all due respect, your concerns reveal an utter lack of foresight! This young ladys done everything perfectly. Youll live there quite happily! If you ignore her advice, dont blame us when your house falls apart.
The client relented. When the call finished, Julia asked, How do you know this stuff?
Geoffrey grinned, I was an architect for thirty-six years! Pop over whenever you likefor advice or a natter.
As helpful as Geoffrey was, the sheer commotion and constant presence of people grated on Julias nerves. This wasnt how shed pictured rural married lifea little peace and quiet, thats all shed wanted.
But it was like living in a communal hall.
***
Darling, we can move back to the city if you prefer, I said gently, but youve not quite understood these guests.
What am I missing? Julia frowned.
You were upset when the guesthouse burnt down. But did you know its already rebuilt? I grinned. And the cost?
Must have been expensive, she guessed.
Not a penny, I made a circle with my fingers for emphasis. They funded it and built it themselves!
Julias eyes widened in disbelief.
They pay utilities and costs for themselves and us. They do the shopping, cooking, cleaningand even fix things that break. Effectively, were living here at their expense!
Some have jobs, others odd-jobs, and their advice and skills are invaluable: engineers, accountants, solicitors, economists, plumbers, electricianseven a professor of biological sciences!
And an architect too, Julia added, remembering Geoffrey Martins help.
Hed shared tips shed never heard before.
My companys profits doubled recently, and all thanks to advice from these guests! I said. Im tempted to put them all on the payroll! And the funniest thing? I said, answering my own question, They never ask for anythingjust living here as one big odd family!
At that moment, a ball crashed through the kitchen window, scattering glass everywhere. In dashed Tom: Robs off to the city for a replacement pane! Dont worry, itll be better than new in two hours. Sorry! He grabbed his ball and dashed off.
Thats life here, I chuckled.
I suppose Ill get used to it, Julia managed with a dazed expression.
Within a month, she hardly noticed the crowdsthese people no longer seemed like guests, but family.
