Youre robbing my sonhe cant even buy a lightbulb.
On Sunday morning, I was lying under a blanket on the sofa. My husband had gone round to his mums to change a lightbulb. Of course, the real reason for summoning her son wasnt just electrics:
Son, havent you forgotten that Olivers birthday is today?
My husbands hopeless with money. His salary barely lasts the week. Fortunately, he gives me cash for the bills and the food shop, but the rest melts away on new video games and whatever gadgets go along with them. I dont make a fussbetter he has a bit of fun than spends his nights drinking in the shed or heading out clubbing. Besides, I once read that the hardest part of a mans childhood is the first forty years.
Im not telling you all this to gain your sympathyjust to explain why his pockets are always empty. Im not in the same mess. I even manage to put some savings by, and its often me he comes to in a crisis when he needs a bit of a loan. But I always refuse when its for his mother, his sister, or his nephews needs.
Of course, I hadnt forgotten it was Olivers birthday, so Id already sorted his present the week before. Before my husband set off, I handed him the gift, plonked myself down, and put a film on. No chance I was goingthe in-laws and I dont exactly get on.
They reckon I dont love their precious boy simply because I wont let him fork out for them or babysit his sisters kids. I did once agree to look after the kids for an hourended up with them dumped on me all afternoon and got to work late because of it. I had the nerve to complain, so my mother-in-law and sister-in-law branded me shameless and rude. So nowadays, every request for childcare gets a polite no. Didnt bother me if my husband wanted to play with his nephews, thoughI quite liked the little troublemakers myself.
Soon after my husband left, he returned with the entire clan in tow, including the kids. His mum barged in, still in her coat and scarf, not a hint of embarrassment, and declared,
Weve decided that, since its Olivers birthday, hell get the tablet he picked out for himself, and its worth £400. You owe me £200 for your half of the present. So hand it over.
I mightve got the lad a tablet, sure, but not one that dear.
Naturally, I didnt give her a penny. To my astonishment, my husband then started laying into me for being tight-fisted. I shrugged it off, turned on the laptop, and called Oliver over. In five minutes, we found and ordered him a gadget he genuinely wanted.
The boy ran off, thrilled, to show his mum who was out there waiting in the hallway. As for my sister-in-lawshes got sticky fingers, everything tends to vanish around her. Mother-in-law, meanwhile, acted like my genuine gesture was an outrage.
No one asked you to do thatyou were supposed to give us your share. Youre with my son and hes always flat broke, cant even afford a lightbulb. Give me £200 immediatelyyou know thats his money!
She actually started rummaging through my handbag, which was on the side table. I glared at my husband and snapped,
Youve got three minutes to get them out before I do.
He didnt dawdle. He grabbed his mother and ushered the family out of the house. Three minutes was all it took.
So honestly, Id rather my husband wasted his wages on games, because before, his mother just had her hands in his wallet anyway. Better he spends it on his own fun than letting those leeches take the lot.
Sometimes I sit here and thinkId have been better off marrying an orphan.
