23rd March
I stood in front of the open fridge again, rubbing my temples in disbelief. Once more, almost all the food had vanished. It had barely been cooked before it disappeared. For months now, Id been baffled, sure that Williams healthy appetite was to blame, but it was getting absurd. Id only done the shopping two days ago, and already I was reduced to eating toast and sipping weak instant coffee.
Trying to talk to William about it was never fruitful; it only led to rows, his frustration about still being out of work boiling over into everything. Its been nearly two months since he lost his job, so while I slog away at the office to cover the groceries, he stays home and supposedly looks for work though youd never know it from the situation. Id long resigned myself to coming home knackered, with no energy left for a proper meal, and it felt as if William just assumed Id sorted myself out before walking through the door.
Yesterday hed shouted from the lounge about going home to help Adam his voice unwavering, as if it was a given. I barely registered it, feeling achy and feverish myself, and the next morning I woke with a pounding head. I rang work and switched on my out-of-office, deciding Id better rest up and get over whatever bug was knocking about. I took some paracetamol and climbed under the duvet.
The clattering in the kitchen woke me: pots and pans banging, fridge door swinging open again and again, someone even humming loudly. I dragged myself reluctantly from bed to investigate, and there, rifling through my kitchen cupboards, was Williams sister, Elizabeth. We’ve never really spoken, and her surprise at seeing me clearly not expecting me home was evident.
Elizabeths always had this notion that William should provide for her, as much as for his own family. Its strained our budget more than once, with William slipping her money when he shouldnt. Now, apparently, she felt entitled to do the weekly shop for her brood in my kitchen. She loaded up plastic containers with my food without so much as a glance my way.
Morning, Sarah, I said as calmly as I could, though my voice wobbled.
Oh! Why arent you at work? she asked, startled, clutching my block of cheese guiltily.
I stared at her, too tired to raise my voice. Im ill. Did William know youd be here?
He gave me a spare key, she replied, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
So, its not William with the voracious appetite, its you and your sticky fingers.
Hes my brother. Ive every right to pop round and take food for his nieces and nephews.
Except your brother is unemployed, hes not provided anything recently, and meanwhile I am apparently responsible for feeding two households without even being told.
She shrugged, half-defiant, half-apologetic. I cant manage on my own, you know. Im supposed to grovel for a few sausages?
Hand me the keys, Elizabeth, or Ill call the police. You seem to forget, William has no legal claim to this flat.
Youd honestly call the police over a bit of cheap sausage? Unbelievable! Here, take your keys, you old miser! Ill tell William what a delightful wife he has.
Thats fine. Makes no difference. Im sure he can quickly find someone more to your tastes.
As soon as she left, I collapsed onto the sofa and couldnt help but cry. All this time, William had let me believe he was eating everything, when in reality his sister was cleaning me out and hed covered for her. No one would believe it if I told them Williams sister nicking the groceries and leaving nothing but a stale loaf behind. The worst sting of all was knowing William was complicit, excusing her greed as his own appetite.
But then, what should I expect? His familys always swanned in, grabbing what they fancied with not so much as a word. His mothers exactly the same takes all she wants, expects everyone to look after her. I spent ages sat in silence, thinking about my future, and in the end I called William to let him know I wanted a divorce.
Please, lets talk when I get home, he begged, but Id made up my mind. Theres nothing left to discuss. I can see clearly now.
People like that dont change. The only thing I regret is wasting my youth on someone so selfish. Now, sitting here, I wonder why I didnt end things sooner. William has become a stranger to me, and really, he must have been for some time.
