A House Full of Uninvited Guests
Cant these charming folk find their own place to live? Sarah asked her husband, a hint of exasperation in her voice. There are plenty of hotels about!
Theyre not here just to crowd us out! George replied. Theyre here because theyve run into trouble once things are sorted, theyll be off.
But as soon as one lot leave, another batch arrives! Sarah grumbled. And did you know that Peter Partington Ive no idea who that is has been living here for two years already?
How long is this going to last? Sarah exclaimed, incredulously.
Whats the matter? George called, lounging in bed.
Out there! Sarah gestured forcefully at the window. The local volleyball match is about to start!
Nice one! George smiled lazily, stretching.
Are you being serious? Sarah drew the curtains hastily. Dont tell me youd want to join in!
No, Id rather have a lie-in, he chuckled. And I wish the same for you!
Sarah sat at the edge of the bed.
Tell me, George, what sensible person organises an outdoor volleyball game in early December?
Why not? George shrugged. No snow, not that cold, and it’s dry out. Perfect weather for a kickabout.
Theyll end up smashing all the windows, Sarah protested. There are no professionals out there that balls going to go everywhere!
If they break one, theyll just fit a new pane, said George, stretching again.
Sarah shook her head, rather sceptically. She seemed about to retort, but from downstairs came a cheery shout:
Darlings! Breakfast is ready! Ive made some lovely scones! Save the cuddles for later! Hurry down before it all gets cold!
Auntie Martha and her scones! George grinned.
Excuse me, but making breakfast for my husband is supposed to be *my* privilege! Sarah sniffed.
You can always make the coffee! George laughed.
Darlings! The coffees getting cold too! came Auntie Marthas voice again.
There you are! Sarah pointed at the door dramatically. Next thing you know, Auntie Martha will be pinching your side of the bed as well!
Dont exaggerate! George said, amused. Your spot in our bed is non-negotiable! Come on, lets go have breakfast before it gets cold.
With a heavy sigh, Sarah donned her dressing gown.
On the way to the kitchen, and even once there, they didnt bump into anybody.
Miraculous, Sarah muttered. I half thought wed never have a moment alone in our own house again!
Surprises do happen! George smirked. But its lively, isnt it? After breakfast, lets catch some of that volleyball match. And later, Roger Hammond said hes firing up the barbecue in the evening!
Fantastic. Smoke, sparks, and burnt sausages, Sarah said, biting into a scone.
You mean the guest cottage? George laughed. Theres a new one bigger, sturdier, and three times the size!
Oh, great. Room for even *more* guests! Sarah was clearly unimpressed. I cant even remember half their names! Might as well stick a badge on them, and a family tree to work out whos who!
Wed still get lost, George teased, given some people are cousins-by-marriages step-uncle, or goodness knows what
Sarah tried to follow the tangled web.
Youd be bamboozled by the time youd read it all!
They paused, as the scones were frankly wonderful. Later, in a better mood, Sarah asked, George, honestly, how long will this go on?
What do you mean? George already guessed, but asked anyway.
All these guests! I know we should be hospitable but theres got to be a limit! I tried counting just yesterday, and lost track after twenty!
Theres thirty people here right now, and nobody even seems to be planning to leave! This wasnt what I imagined married life would look like.
But this is family life, love! And these people, you could say, are our family, George responded.
Oh yes, family by way of somebodys aunts second cousin, twice removed! Sarah retorted. Even your brother from whom we inherited these houseguests isnt related to half of them. Its more his wifes relatives.
There are proper terms for all these connections, if you dig deep enough. I just dont know what they are! George replied. But honestly, theyre all good people.
Couldnt these good people find their own place? There are plenty of B&Bs! Sarah pressed.
Theyre not here to inconvenience us. Theyve fallen on hard times. Once lifes sorted, theyll move on!
And immediately therell be someone else! Oh, and did you know Peter Partington never even met the man has been here for two years? He even found a job at the village shop. And Auntie Martha, whose scones we just devoured, does cleaning for three neighbouring cottages.
Good for them! George smiled. Theyre making a go of it!
If this keeps up, Ill move back to my flat in London! Id rather it was just us, even if its tiny, than this invasion!
***
Sarah knew it was a gamble when she started seeing George. He was ten years her senior and at twenty-five, Sarah wasnt a schoolgirl either.
Immediately the question arose: Why hasnt George married before? Is there something about him?
But, equally, why hadn’t Sarah herself married by twenty-five?
Sarah knew her own reasons. She had trained as an architect, but a degree doesnt keep the cupboards full. She wanted to cement her credentials, build a reputation and be fully self-reliant before settling down.
First, Sarah worked for a council office, then moved to the private sector, joining a firm that did large contracts. It was more interesting and paid much better. The downside: dealing with business clients, not all of whom were reasonable, but thats working life.
Romance wasnt a priority with that job.
George, as it turned out, had lived a similar tale. His brother, Andrew, set up a firm straight after university and married soon after that. Unable to juggle work and home, he roped George in to run operations. George had just finished his national service.
It meant George had to study at night while managing the business by day.
To his credit, George handled it all. But he had little time or energy for a social life. When Andrews son was born, George didnt always make it home at all.
Going to pull your weight here, mate? George asked his brother one day.
Im fed up, George, Andrew admitted sheepishly. I dont want to be a businessman any more.
Grand news! What do you plan to do?
I want to work with my hands, have fixed hours. Go home to my wife and son every night, Andrew said wistfully.
Will that pay the bills? George asked.
Natalie and I are planning a move up to Yorkshire, Andrew explained, showing the paperwork. Im turning the firm and the lot over to you. You run it it suits you!
At least give me your bank details so I can send you a share of the profits, George replied, reeling from the news.
After that, Georges life got even busier.
At thirty-five, George realised hed finally reached a steady point. He could start thinking about a family.
He and Sarah clicked right away. Once theyd reasoned through the red flags from each others pasts, love blossomed. After six months they didnt see the point in waiting and got married.
They started out in Sarahs flat.
I love you to bits, but being here is simply easier for me, Sarah apologised. Its five minutes walk to the office, and I am *not* a morning person.
Not an issue, George replied. I always rented; never bought since I didnt know where to settle. Its up to you, love. You tell me where and well get a place!
Id always dreamed of a house in the countryside, Sarah admitted, but Im not sure my firm would let me work remotely!
You should demand it or threaten to join their competitors! George teased. Or we could start a firm of our own!
Ill have a word first! Sarah laughed.
I already actually own a place in the country, George said hesitantly.
The one favour Andrew had requested before leaving:
George, Natalies family in Yorkshire is huge. If ever any of them need somewhere to stay while they sort out problems, dont turn them away. Theyre good people, but dont let them walk over you.
Where am I meant to put them? The local B&B? George asked.
Oh, nearly forgot I got a second house a year ago, but we never moved in. Ive put that in your name too, Andrew said with a wave, before heading off to Yorkshire.
Some of Natalies distant family are living there, but its huge, and theres a guest cottage as well. We should all fit in fine.
Sarah couldnt have imagined, moving into Georges country house, just how many people were staying there. The welcome committee alone was overwhelming.
Yet everyone was friendly, eager to help, and warm-hearted.
In the first month, Sarah heard dozens of sad stories: a brutal divorce here, someone escaping an abusive marriage there; someone thrown out by grown-up children, another cheated out of their only home, students between flats, a couple waiting for house renovators, one academic abandoned by a student lover and awaiting his own flat.
The household was a strange mix of all ages, jobs, and personalities even a retired professor. Despite the chaos, the mood in the house was mostly kind.
Meanwhile, Sarah had to keep working. But a difficult client was giving her a hard time with a pointless list of complaints. Stephen Harris, one of the houseguests, overheard her call and, without hesitation, nudged her aside and addressed her client through the webcam:
With all due respect, sir, your comments betray a limited understanding of the subject. This young woman has done an outstanding job youll enjoy living in what shes designed, I promise! Carry on with your own version, and if the place falls down, dont come running!
The client relented, and when Sarah closed her laptop, she turned to Stephen. How do you know all that?
Darling, I was an architect for thirty-six years, he smiled. Come to me for advice any time!
Though Stephens help was invaluable, the endless bustle and crowd sometimes frayed Sarahs nerves. This wasnt the home life shed pictured.
Instead, it was bedlam.
***
Love, if you really want, we can move back to London, George said gently. But perhaps you havent realised everything about our guests.
What do you mean? Sarah asked.
You moaned when the guest house burned down, but you know theres a new one already. Guess how much it cost? Georges eyes twinkled.
Quite a bit, Id imagine, Sarah replied uncertainly.
Nothing not a pound, George made a zero with his hand. They put up the money and built the new guest house themselves! And all our bills for everyone are covered by our guests, not us. They shop, pay for their food, and if anything breaks, they fix it.
Sarah gaped.
Were living here essentially at their expense! Some are working, some picking up odd jobs. And their advice and help are often priceless!
Weve got engineers, bookkeepers, barristers, plumbers, electricians even a professor of biology.
And an architect, Sarah smiled, thinking of Stephens kindness.
His tips had greatly benefited her work.
I doubled the firms profits recently, just by asking one of them for advice! George admitted. We could make a company just from whos living here!
And the funniest thing is, George grinned, they never ask for anything. They simply live here as one big, peculiar family!
Just then, a volleyball flew through the kitchen window with a crash. In dashed Tom: Davids off to town for new glass already! Dont worry, itll be sorted in a couple of hours better than before! Sorry! Grabbing the ball, he dashed off again.
Thats how it goes, George said, grinning.
I think Ill get used to it, Sarah said, feeling dazed.
Within a month, she hardly noticed the crowd; she didnt see people as guests anymore, but as dear members of one big, extended family.
Sometimes, the best families arent the ones youre born into, but the ones you welcome into your home and your heart.
