Honestly, its all a bit of a mess and Amy, my boyfriends sister, is completely in bits about it. She says, Its all my fault, obviously! I never imagined anything like this could happen. Now, I havent got a clue what to do. I dont even know how to sort it without looking like a fool.
So, Amy married a couple of years ago. After the wedding, the plan was for the newlyweds to move in with her husbands mum. His parents have a big flat with three bedrooms, and hes an only child.
His mum said, Ill keep one room for myself and the rest is yours! Were all decent people, so Im sure well get on just fine.
And her husband said, We can always move out if it goes wrong! I dont see the harm in having a go living with my mum. If it gets out of hand, we can always rent our own place
Turns out, it was much easier said than done. Living together was trickier than theyd thought. Both Amy and her mother-in-law did really try, but things just kept getting more tense. Little gripes built up, then every so often someone would blow up and the rows started happening more and more.
You said wed move out if we couldnt make it work! Amy would say, always on the verge of tears.
Oh come off it, her husbands mum would say, sort of rolling her eyes, These are little things. Its silly to start packing up just because of a few niggles.
A year after the wedding, Amy found out she was pregnant, and ended up giving birth to a lovely boy. But the timing wasnt great. Her mother-in-law had just left her old job and, being close to retirement age, couldnt find a new one no one wanted to hire her. So, like it or not, Amy and her mother-in-law were always in the flat, right under each others feet, day in, day out, driving each other round the bend.
Amys husband would just shrug it off and listen to them both complaining, but he was the only one earning at that point.
We cant just leave my mum on her own; she doesnt have enough money to get by. I cant just abandon her and I cant afford to rent somewhere else and support her as well. When she finds something, well get our own place, I promise.
But Amys patience was running out. Eventually, she packed up her and her sons things and went to stay at her mums house, telling her husband she wasnt about to set foot in his mums again. If the family mattered to him, he ought to sort things out.
She genuinely thought hed be desperate to fix things and bring everyone back together, but she got that well wrong.
Its been over three months since Amy moved in with her own mum, and her husband hasnt made any real effort to bring her home. Hes still living with his mum, keeps in touch via FaceTime when hes home from work, and just pops round for visits on the weekend.
So now, hes got two women looking after him, and he only has to do the fun bits with his son, leaving all the hard work to Amy. From the outside, it almost looks like hes landed on his feet! His mum seems content as well honestly, it doesnt seem shes lost out on much!
But Amy is really struggling. She loves her husband, even though she knows hes out of order.
What exactly did you expect when you left then? her husband says, Come back if you want.
But the truth is, Amys not about to leave her mum and find some new place; shes on maternity leave and just doesnt have the cash for it.
So what now? Is this the end for their family? Do you think shes got any chance of heading back to her mother-in-laws and holding her head high, or is that just not on the cards anymore?
