Monday, 2nd May
Sometimes I wish decisions about family were more black and white, but they never are. Today, my thoughts have been tumbling around one particular problem that seems to get no closer to a solution.
My husband recently inherited a small flat in the centre of London from his late aunt. Its nothing grand in truth, its rather tired and rundown. Still, its a property in the city, which surely means something these days.
We have three children and plenty of space in our own home: a lovely three-bedroom place, nicely situated with plenty of room for all of us. Our eldest, Charlotte, is nineteen now. Shes at university and rapidly turning into a grown woman, talking of careers and sometimes, I think, of settling down. Then theres Thomas, whos twelve and still thinks football is the centre of the world, and little George, whos all of five a proper whirlwind.
With the inherited flat standing empty, I suggested to my husband that perhaps Charlotte might take it over it could be her own little corner, helpful perhaps with her studies and independence. She is at that stage where she needs her own space, and if she eventually gets engaged, it would be perfect.
But my husband balks at the idea. He says its unfair to the boys, to let our daughter have the flat when in a few years the others would want their own slice of the pie. He thinks the best way forward is to sell the property altogether and split the proceeds evenly among the three children. It just seems a bit shortsighted to me what would a few thousand pounds do for them now, really? At best, Charlotte might end up with a cheap car. The boys are too young to even access the money until theyre adults.
Its that old saying, isnt it? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Id rather we made sure one child at least had somewhere to live, a base in London. By the time Thomas and George grow up, perhaps circumstances will change and we can help them find their own homes. Keeping the flat seems a real, tangible start for at least one of our three.
My husband worries it will sow discord between the siblings, that Charlotte will always have this advantage and her brothers will resent her. I cant see it the boys are so young that Im certain by the time theyre aware of the situation, well have had time to help them too. Children, after all, rarely see these things as adults do.
Weve said nothing to Charlotte yet. Theres no use putting more confusion in her head when the flat is still inhabitable. It needs a mountain of work, and frankly, our savings are stretched thin as it is. It feels foolish to tell her she might have a flat, only to have to take it away again.
So here I am, weighing my convictions against my husbands worries. Should I stand firm and keep arguing for Charlotte to have the flat, or am I being stubborn? Is his plan to share out the inheritance fairer, even if less practical? Or perhaps theres an option neither of us can see.
Maybe theres some wisdom out there I havent considered. For now, my mind is caught in loops and no nearer to peace.
