On Holiday With Shameless Family: Putting My Foot Down
Ive put up with this for two weeks, Alex! Two full weeks in this shed they dare to call a hotel.
Why did we agree to any of this?
Because Mum begged us. Poor Agnes needs a break; Agnes has had a rough time of it, Alex mimicked their mothers voice.
Agnes, Mums sister, certainly hadnt had it easy, and yet Kate found it impossible to muster any sympathy for her. Not a drop.
Aunt Agnesalways the poor relation who everyone supposedly owed. Kate was wrestling with her suitcase, kneeling on the lid, trying to force the zip closed, only for it to violently spit out the edge of a beach towel.
Through the thin plywood partition (proudly called a wall in this run-down guest house), a shriek rattled throughBenjamin, Agness six-year-old son, hysterical as ever.
I dont want porridge! No! I want chicken dippers! he bellowed, as if someone was cutting his limbs off.
This was swiftly followed by the heavy smack of a spoon, clattering crockery, and Agness languid, smoky voice:
Come on, love, just a little for Mummy, eh? Veronica, nip out to the shop, will you? Hes desperate for those dippers. My feet are killing me, I just cant manage.
Kate froze, knuckles white on the case zip. Veronica! After everything, Mum would end up running errands for her, again.
Alex, Kates brother, sat on the only wobbly chair in their pokey room, brooding over his phone and clearly not even attempting to pack. His stuff was still in a heap by the wall.
You can hear that, cant you? Kate asked, nodding at the partition. Shes sending Mum off again. Veronica, fetch this, Veronica, help with that. And Mum just leaps up, every time.
Dont worry about it, Alex mumbled, not looking up. Were home tomorrow.
I cant believe weve endured two weeks, Alex. In this dump they pretend is a hotel. Remind me again why?
Because Mum would do anything for poor Agnes, Alex replied, rolling his eyes. Agnes needs a break; Agnes has suffered, he mimicked.
Kate perched on the bedthe saggy springs groaning. Yes, Agness lot was a rough one, but Kate couldnt force herself to care. Not anymore.
Agnes, Mums sister from her mothers side, forever the poor relation. Lost her first child as a babya family-shrouded tragedy barely spoken aloud. Then there was a husband, partial to the pub, who drank himself into an early grave. Now she roamed between men, had two children with different fathers, all living in Grans old flat, plus her current soulmateher eighth, by Alexs tally.
Work never featured high on Agness agenda. The world was there for her to adorn, to suffer, and to be kept in a degree of comfort by othersfirst and foremost, Kates Mum, Veronica, who (according to Agnes), was made of money.
Kate paced to the window. The wonderful view her mother had promised: bins and the back wall of a rusty chicken shed.
The trip was Mums ideaA proper family holiday. Agnes needs the company; lets help her get away and relax.
Helping meant Veronica paying for most of the booking, doing the shopping, and cooking for the lot of them, while Agnes and her new matesome woman called Maisie, whom shed instantly bonded with over a shared passion for lounging by the poolbarely lifted a finger.
Get ready, Kate said to Alex. Were out for dinner tonight. Mum wants a last night together.
***
Naturally, they had no say in the restaurant; Agnes demanded something fancyI want to eat somewhere posh for a change. The place on the marina had to shove two tables together to squeeze in the whole noisy clan Kate privately dubbed the circus.
Agnes, squeezed into a sparkling dress threatening to burst at the seams, took the head of the table with Maisiea booming, peroxide-blonde woman with a knee-jerk laughfor company.
Waiter! Agnes barked without bothering to look at a menu. Bring us your finest! Grilled lamb, salads, and a bottle of that lovely rosé!
Veronica, Kate and Alexs mother, was perched at the end, smiling wanly and looking completely worn out. Not a single moment of rest for two weeks: Benjamin in a temper, Agnes with another ailment, and little Alice complaining of boredom.
Mum, treat yourself to the fish, you know you fancied it, Kate urged gently.
No, no, much too dear for me, her mum brushed off. A salad will be enough. Let Agnes have a treat, the year shes had.
Kates jaw clenched. Oh yes, poor Agnesall year! Meanwhile, Benjamin, the self-appointed six-year-old prince, was thumping his spoon on his plate.
Feed me! he demanded, mouth gaping at the iPad.
Agnes paused her chat with Maisie and obediently shovelled mash into her sons mouth, crooning, My little darling, have a bite, get your strength up.
Hes six, Auntie Agnes, Kate couldnt help herself. Dont you think he could feed himself now?
The table fell silent. Agnes swivelled her head.
And who asked you, dear niece? she spat. Lets see how you manage with your own one day! My boys got a delicate soul, he needs looking after!
He needs boundaries, not a tablet at dinner, said Kate. He howls the house down the second he doesnt get his way. Youre raising a spoilt brat.
Maisie jumped in, hands flapping. Oo, listen to her, Agnes! Thinks shes Sigmund ruddy Freud! Kids todayeh!think they know better than their elders.
Kate, leave it be, her mum whispered, tugging her sleeve. Dont ruin the evening. Please.
The interminable meal blurred on. Agnes and Maisie loudly discussed men and swapped tales about the neighbours, moaning about the tragedies of womanhood. Alice retreated into her phone, occasionally shooting daggered looks at the oldies. Benjamin started whinging for pudding, and was instantly appeased with the biggest sundae on the menu.
When the bill came, Agnes gave a dramatic gasp:
Oh, Ive left my purse in the room! Veronica, would you mind paying? Ill pay you back as soon as we get home.
You never pay her back, thought Kate, watching her mother quietly hand over her debit card. Seen it all before.
***
Back at the guest house after midnight, Kate darted to the shower to try to wash the sticky disgust from her skin.
The water was little more than a dribble, swinging from cold to scalding with no warning. She dried off and headed to their room, but stopped at the half-open kitchen door, where loud whispers drifted out.
Did you see that little madam? Maisie screeched. Sitting there with the face on her! He doesnt know how to use a spoonas if shes some expert. If it wasnt for you, Veronica, shed be mucking out stables somewhere, not flaunting herself in restaurants. Arrogant, empty-headed thing. No boyfriend, no brains, just airs and graces.
Kate stopped breathing, heart pounding in her throat. She waited for her mother to bang her fist on the table, to declare, Shut it, Maisie; dont you dare talk about my daughter like that! At least to get up and leave.
But only a weary sigh from Agnes echoed through:
Oh tell me about it, Maisie. Shes a hard one, that Kate. Just like her fathers familyalways so superior. Not like mine. Alice may be stubborn, but shes got a kind, open heart. Kate just looks at us all like were dirt. Puts me right off my dinner, she does.
Youve spoilt her, Veronica! Maisie crowed. Shouldve given her a proper smack years ago. If she were mine, shed have been booted out by now, let her see what lifes really like.
Kate pressed her forehead to the door frame. Her mother was still silent. Sitting there, drinking tea (or perhaps something stronger, judging by the boozy tang), listening to them drag her only daughter through the mud.
Kate straightened abruptly. She threw the door wide openbang, against the wall.
Instant silence.
Three of them sat at a plastic table, littered with leftover food and wrappers: Agnes sulking in her burst seam dress, Maisies red, swollen face gleaming, and Mumher head shrinking into her shoulders.
So Im the empty-headed madam? And you, Auntie Agnes, are the saint among us?
Agnes hiccupped, eyes bulging. Maisie lumbered to her feet, looming.
Whats this, eavesdropping now, you brat? Maisie snarled. Listening in, are we?
I wouldnt need toI could hear you on the next street, Kate said, stepping into the kitchen, eyes fixed on Agnes. Your dinner go down all right tonight, Auntie? Bit stuck in your throat, was it? Didnt look it when Mum was paying for it.
You ungrateful little! We take you in, and you turn your nose up!
Im not throwing money in your face, Im calling out your cheek! Youve hung off Mums purse strings your whole life. One bloke, then another, kids, made-up illnessesMum slaves away so you can have a holiday, and you bitch about her behind her back!
Your daughters a loud-mouthed brat who swears like a docker and treats you like a doormatyet you have the cheek to moralise at me? Your son screams till he gets his way because youve never once said No. And you sit there, day after day, making demands as though its all owed to you.
Agnes stared back, speechless.
Kate! Veronica squeaked, leaping up. Stop this, right now! Go to your room!
No, Mum, I wont. Kates voice was cold, every word a final crack in something already broken. You sit here and let them ridicule me, your own daughter. And you just let them. Is this the family I have?
Maisie shoved her chair back. Thats enough, you little cow. Ill teach you to mind your elders
Her heavy hand swung at Kates head, but Alex appeared from nowhere, catching her arm mid-air.
Touch her, and youll regret it, he said, low and deadly calm. Aunt Agnes, pack up. Were leaving.
Whos we, exactly? Agnes screeched, clutching for control. Im not going anywhere! We still have two days left! Veronica, do somethingyour children are out of control!
And then, out of nowhere, Veronica finally found her voice. She marched to Kate, seized her by the shoulders, and shook her.
Why would you start this, Kate? Mum cried, tears springing to her eyes. Why couldnt you stay out of it? Youve ruined everything! Were family! How dare you cause a scene like this in front of everyone?
Kate removed her mothers hands gentlybut firmly.
Im not ashamed, Mum, she said quietly. You should be, for letting this happen again and again.
With that, Kate turned and left the kitchen. Alex followed silently.
They packed in heavy silence, while next door Agnes wept theatrically (My wretched life!) and Maisie grumbled, loudly calling Kate and Alex little devils. Alice, woken by the rumpus, whined about being kept up.
We cant get home tonight, Alex said, zipping his bag. First coach out is in the morning. Means catching the dawn at the station.
Dont care, Kate tossed her makeup into a carrier. Anywheres better than another second here.
Mum?
Kate paused, T-shirt still in hand.
She made her choice. Shes in the kitchen, comforting her sister.
***
Kate doesnt speak to her mother these days, nor does Alex. They never forgave her. Veronica called a few times, saying shed forgive them if they apologised to dear Agnes. But Kate and Alex agreed: they didn’t need forgiveness on those terms.
Enough is enough.
If Mum wants to keep living in Agness shadow, so be it. But Kate and Alex are much happier without their entitled relatives.
