Gran found herself living alone at the ripe old age of eighty. Just last week, shed thrown my older brother, Edward, and his wife out of her flat. Ever since, shes barely spoken to anyone. If I ring to say wed like to pop round, she hangs up sharply. She wont even open the door for anyone these days.
Edward refuses to say why he moved into rented accommodation, but it didnt really come as a surprise when Gran gave him the boothes always been rather irresponsible, spending money as soon as he got it.
Once Gran was living on her own and had a whole flat to herself, the rest of the family called an urgent meeting. Gran, of course, wanted nothing to do with it. There was only one pressing matterhow on earth would she cope alone at her age?
My aunt Helen suggested that her thirty-year-old daughter, Daisy, whos currently out of work, could move in to look after Gran. Everybody knew that Daisy isnt exactly reliable or attentive.
My dads other sister, Aunt Margaret, suggested getting Gran a small bedsit, claiming it would save money. The young ones have just moved out. How can she afford the rent for a three-bedroom flat?
Then Uncle Harry volunteered to take Gran in, planning for his son to move into her place. It all sounded so caringall these offers presented in the name of worrying about Grans wellbeing.
I just want Mum to be safe, Uncle Harry insisted. This way, shell be in good hands, surrounded by family!
But everyone knew Gran had already lived with one of Harrys sons, and now he wanted to put his second in the flat. My dad was the only one who suggested Gran should have a say in the matter, which naturally horrified the others.
Aunt Helen was the most insistent, so eventually everyone agreed Daisy should move in. Daisy started packing her bags, and Gran was given a call informing her of the family councils decision. Gran, who clearly understood what was going on, slammed the phone down.
Daisy set off round to Grans, thinking about all the redecorating she could do once inside. But things didnt go as she expected. Gran wouldnt answer the door. All she found was a jar of homemade chutney left on the mat.
How does she expect to live like this? Daisy grumbled afterward. She says shes never really lived for herself in all her eighty years, and now, of all times, she wants to be independent! Who knows what could happen? What if she gets ill? Living alone at her age is dangerous!
Gran is only thinking of herself, Daisy muttered. No sense of guilt! Shed lived most of her life with parents, with Grandad, with her children, with her grandchildren; now she expects peace and quietto herself! In a flat made for three! Ridiculous! Time to make room for the younger generation!
It was only Dad who came at this calmly. He didnt like the idea of forcing Gran to move or have Daisy thrust upon her. He saw a better solution. In truth, Gran probably shouldnt be left entirely aloneanything could happen. The aunties were right about that. Gran had changed all the locks after kicking Edward out, so no one had keys to check up on her. At that age, every days unpredictable.
With Mums blessing, Dad installed a small camera in Grans hallway. Now, whenever Gran strolled past, any concerned relative could check she was all right. Gran, for her part, made faces at the camera whenever she walked by.
She insisted on paying her own bills, which were never very high since she lived simply, and refused all offers of help, if it meant shed be left in peace. In a strange way, new technology had saved her from further intrusions.
Everything settled, though Gran still wouldnt let anyone innot even for a cup of tea. Just yesterday, I went to see her and found a jar of strawberry jam left on the stairwell for me. I suspect shes still frightened of losing her freedom and independence. Still, I hope one day shell be at ease enough to let us in for a proper visit.
