The Aunt Visits, Wife in Tears
Robert is woken by the sound of the doorbell. On the other side of the bed, his wife stirs awake as well. He gently touches her shoulder.
“Love, stay in bed, Ill get it,” he says softly. Making his way to the door, he mumbles quietly, “Who could that be at this hour?”
Opening the door, he finds his aunt standing on the doorstep, clutching a large bag. Behind her, her husband his uncle is anxiously pacing.
“My dear nephew!” his aunt exclaims, throwing her arms around him for a hug that nearly sweeps him off his feet. “Arent you glad to see me? Come on, give your auntie a squeeze,” she insists, holding him tight.
“So much for peace and quiet,” Robert thinks wistfully as he drags his aunt’s bags down the hallway.
The rest of the night is total chaos. The aunt refuses to sleep on the sofa, saying its far too uncomfortable, then suggests her nephew should find something better for her.
All the while, Roberts wife Alice stands in stunned silence. In under an hour, his aunt has managed to turn their whole flat upside down. At last, everyone settles for the night; his aunt and her husband take the bed, leaving Robert and Alice the lumpy sofa.
“How long do you think theyre staying?” Alice whispers, sliding Robert his breakfast the next morning.
“No idea. Ill ask when I get back from work.”
She listens anxiously as the snores drift out from the bedroom and finally says, “Robert, they scare me a bit. Cant you come home early today?”
“Ill do my best,” he promises, and slips out of the flat.
When Robert returns home that evening, hes greeted by a table set for a special meal.
“Come in, nephew, lets celebrate a family reunion!” his aunt calls from the kitchen. Alice whispers, “Im so glad youre back!”
As they sit down, Robert ventures, “Auntie, how long will you be in London?
“Trying to get rid of us already, are you? Oh, listen to this were not wanted here!” his aunt mutters gruffly to her husband.
“Auntie, its not that! Of course, you can stay as long as you want!” Robert says, quite bewildered.
“Well be with you forever now, Robert. Weve already sold our flat. Youre the only family we have left. Surely you wouldnt turn your own aunt out onto the street? Its just for whatever time weve got left surely you can manage?” She dabs dramatically at her eye with a handkerchief.
Roberts jaw drops in shock as Alice bursts into tears and leaves the table. The room fills with awkward silence. His uncle calmly continues eating his salad.
“And what are you being so quiet for?” Auntie snaps at her husband. “You just sit there shovelling food down. You could at least say something.”
“I completely agree with you, dear,” says the uncle quietly.
“Youre hopeless!” she shouts. “I run this family and all he does is agree with me. What kind of man is that?” She turns to Robert. “Are you happy, darling nephew?”
“As long as you need to stay,” Robert manages, but even as he says it, he can hear Alice crying in the hallway.
He picks at his food without enthusiasm. His aunt and uncle eat with such gusto that he almost expects the plates to crack.
When his aunt has polished everything off, she leans back, satisfied. “Thats better. Robert, I was only joking, sweetheart. Were only here for a hospital appointment three days, perhaps. And you, my nephew, have handled yourself brilliantly. You were terrified, I could tell, but you stayed calm. You remembered what matters family. When Im gone, youll have my flat. No children of our own, so youre the only one Id leave it to.”
Roberts relief has never been greater, and he grins from ear to ear. “Auntie, may you live to be a hundred.”
In those days the aunt and uncle visited, Alice was reduced to tears daily, always fretting that she couldnt please his aunt: the soup wasnt right, the chops were too tough, the washing wasnt done properly, and the floor was mopped the wrong way.
When its finally time for them to leave, the aunt whispers to Robert, “How did you wind up with such a soft little thing? Is she expecting, by any chance? She seems to cry constantly.”
As soon as the door clicks shut behind them, Alice bursts into a dance of joy. “Perhaps theyll never come back,” she says hopefully.
“I wouldnt count on it I think Auntie quite liked it here!”
“I cant cope anymore,” Alice groans.
The bell rings sharply.
“Oh no, not again?” Robert jumps up only to realise, laughing, its just the alarm clock. He smiles, ready for a brand new day.
