Although Hannah was a devoted daughter-in-law and a caring wife, she managed to destroy not only her marriage but also her own spirit.
Hannah was an orphan who had grown up in a children’s home in Manchester. She married at the young age of eighteen. She had no idea what it meant to be a wife or to live within a family, as she had no married friends to look up to. Upon moving into her husband’s flat in London, she eagerly absorbed everything about how to become the perfect wife, taking her cues mostly from her mother-in-law.
Its clear that Hannah had heard countless tales about overbearing mothers-in-law, but she believed that, since she had no mother of her own, her husband’s mother would look after her and want the very best for her. To some extent, she wasnt entirely wrong, as her mother-in-law genuinely wished her no harm, but things turned out differently. Her mother-in-law energetically began teaching her the unwritten rules of family life and once remarked, Its always the wifes fault if her husband strays.
Why? Hannah always thought the blame should fall on the one who chooses to be unfaithful. Reality, however, proved more complicated. According to her mother-in-law, a wife was to blame for her husbands infidelity because shed probably let herself go, no longer attracting her husband as a woman. She advised Hannah to keep a wasp-waist even as she aged, so Hannah jotted down in her diary, never gain weight, and started going to the local gym.
Hannah had always been slim and graceful, but fear of putting on weight drove her to harsh diets. Once shed met this requirement, her mother-in-law offered new wisdom: In a proper household, both the husband and wife work.
Hannah didnt question it, as she already wanted to seek employment herself. She was willing to take on any job. When she asked her mother-in-law how to manage during maternity leave, she replied, Thats your problemhow you manage is up to you!
Hannah didnt bother to write that one down, but a few years after getting married, when she was on maternity leave, she also found part-time work as a childminder. While Hannah was content, her mother-in-law and her husband complained that she wasnt bringing in enough money.
Hannah thought it wouldnt be much of an issue if she spent her modest earnings at the hairdresser, but that followed with yet another proverb: Theres no point getting dolled up when youre on maternity leave! Do your hair and put on makeup once youre back at work, but now you must be economical!
Hannah handed every penny she earned over to her husband. It was a clear pattern throughout their married life: A good wife manages all the domestic work herself! her mother-in-law would remind her.
And so it was. Hannah did all the chores by herself. She would reach utter exhaustion but somehow managed to cope single-handedly. Fainting spells became an ordinary part of her life. Often, after finally getting the youngest child to sleep by nine in the evening, she would get up to clean and prepare meals for the next day. Meanwhile, her husband was already on his tenth nap, having told everyone he was utterly exhausted from earning a living.
So it was almost inevitable that Hannah ended up in hospital. She never allowed herself the time to notice the mounting aches in her body, failing to spot the signs of a serious illness until it was too late. She spent over two weeks in hospital, with neither her husband nor her mother-in-law coming to visit her even once. Thankfully, Hannah had taken her phone with her and managed to call her friend, who brought her everything she needed. Upon leaving the hospital, Hannah put in for a divorce without hesitation.
Through her hardships, Hannah learned that losing yourself while trying to live up to others expectations brings nothing but disappointment. In the end, she realised learning to care for oneself is as vital as caring for others, and true self-worth comes from within, not from the approval of those around you.
