You Stay with the Child—I’m Going Alone to My Brother’s Wedding Yesterday, my husband came home from work acting strangely. When I asked him about the wedding, he looked down right away. He said he’d be going alone… “What about me?” I was stunned. And my husband told me, “Love, my January paycheck was awful. So I’ll probably go alone to the wedding. You stay and look after the little one. It’s only three days—I’ll be in a hotel, need to eat, and of course, buy a present for the bride and groom.” We’re a young family, living in a tiny one-bedroom flat. My mother-in-law gave us this place. I’m on maternity leave; our daughter is nearly two. I’m in no rush to go back to work—there’s no one to watch our daughter. My in-laws gave us a place to live, so I am grateful for that. My own mum has always looked out for herself, even working extra shifts. She told me she’d only babysit in a real emergency, or if I got a job—never just so I could dress up and get my hair done. In that case, I’m on my own. I know my mum well. She travels abroad every year and spends her weekends in spas or beauty salons. We’ve never had family drama. When my husband’s home, I get to do my own thing, but to be honest, he doesn’t love it—he lets me out rarely, and never for long. Then the wedding invitation came. My husband’s younger brother is getting married in another city for three days. I asked my mum to help and stay with her granddaughter. A wedding’s a big deal after all; it’s only three days—and my daughter’s an easy little girl. My mum refused a lot at first but then sighed and finally took three days off work. I was so relieved—two years stuck at home with a toddler, at least I could get a break at the wedding… But then my husband made his announcement and shattered my excitement. This occasion was important to me. I nursed the baby for a year without ever leaving the house. In the end, no one wanted to watch her, not even for a wedding. Meanwhile, my husband often goes to company events and trips away. It’s true, I barely know his brother—just saw his fiancée in a photo. I was so disappointed. My husband just didn’t seem to care. “Look, love, first of all, your mum is not exactly thrilled to mind our daughter. Let her rest, and you stay home. Why make someone uncomfortable? If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to. You barely know my family anyway. What’s in it for you? Your job is to be at home and look after our daughter. I’ll go and come back.” So, I decided that neither of us would go. Why should my husband decide what I should do? Who do you think is right in this story? Personally, I think both the girl’s mother and husband are a bit selfish. Of course, a grandmother isn’t required to babysit, but she could think about her daughter’s needs too. And her husband just doesn’t understand—his wife sacrificed so much for their child; she needs a break too. If he loves his wife, he needs to show some understanding… The young woman here is so sad, completely dependent on her husband, with no help in sight. We’d love to hear what you think. Hopefully, she finds her voice and tells her husband how she feels. Remember, ladies, this is a free country—you can speak up. Nothing terrible will happen if you set boundaries. And if he threatens divorce over something this small, then those feelings were never real. We should respect each other—and bring joy where we can.

Stay at home with the child. Ill go on my own to my brothers wedding.

My wife came home from work yesterday, acting a little off.

I asked her about the wedding and she immediately dropped her gaze. She said she was going to the wedding alone…

What about me? I was taken aback.

My wife replied, Darling, I hardly got paid this January. So Ill probably go to the wedding on my own. You stay here and look after our daughter. Itll be all right. Ill be gone for three daysneed to stay in a hotel and eat, after all. And Ive got to buy a present for the bride and groom.

Were a young family, living in a one-bedroom flather mother gave us the place. Im still on paternity leave, as our daughters not even two yet. I havent been in a rush to find work, reallyno one about to watch our little girl. My in-laws provided the flat, so I cant complaingot to count my blessings where I can.

My own mums always looked after herself, picking up extra shifts. She told me straight: if I truly need someone to watch the little one so I can work, shell come. But dont expect her to babysit just so I can swan off for a trim or buy a new suit. Thats apparently a bridge too far.

Its no mystery to memy mother is just like that. Every year she jets abroad; on weekends shes off to get her hair done or for a massage. She likes a bit of luxury, if you ask me.

Nothing dramatic has ever happened in our family. If I need to run errands when my wifes home, fine, but she doesnt exactly jump with joy about it and only lets me out for quick trips here and there.

Then the wedding invite landed on the doormat.

My wifes younger brotherHarrywas getting married in another city. Wed have to be away for three days. So, I asked my mum if shed stay with her granddaughterjust three days, and our daughters such a calm little thing, hardly ever cries.

My mother was reluctant, but with a heavy sigh, she ended up taking three days off work to help. I was delighted, to be honestIve been housebound for near on two years with a toddler. A wedding felt like a little break for me…

But all those plans went up in smoke after my wife made her announcement.

It wouldve been a big event for me. Id spent over a year at home, barely setting foot outside. Turns out, no one really wanted to look after our child, and my wife often goes to work dos and has business trips.

I wont pretend to know her brother wellId only seen his fiancée in a photo.

I was gutted. My wife clearly didnt see the big deal. She thought it was perfectly reasonable.

Well, love, first off, your mother isnt terribly keen to have our daughter at hers. Let her catch her breath these few days, and you stay put. No use putting her out if she doesnt fancy it. Besides, you dont really know my side of the familywhats in it for you? Your jobs to mind the child. Ill go and come back. Simple.

So I decided: neither of us should go. Why should my wife decide what I do?

Who do you think is in the right?

Frankly, I think both my wife and her mum are a bit much. Certainly, a grandmother isnt obliged to look after her granddaughterbut she could think of her son as well as herself.

And my wife has no idea how much Ive given up for my daughter. Even I need to catch my breath now and then.

If you love your partner, you ought to have some understanding.

Its all a sorry state for the man in this story. Hes utterly dependent on his wife and has no one else to turn to.

Id be curious to hear what others think. I hope the man manages to sort things out and finally speak his mind with his wife.

Gentlemen, rememberwe live in a free country! Speak upnothing disastrous will happen. Its not as if your wife will up and file for divorce if you take a stand. And if she does, maybe that was never real love. At the end of the day, we ought to respect one another and bring a little happiness where we can.

Personal lesson: If theres one thing Ive learnt, its thisyou cant keep swallowing your feelings and expect others to guess what you need. Speak up, make yourself heard, and dont lose sight of your own happiness. Thats the only way to have a fair partnership and a peaceful home.