Fathers Cottage
The fact that the cottage was sold reached Emily quite unexpectedly, and entirely by chance. It happened over the telephone, as she called her mother in another town from the little post office in the market square. It was the kind of thing you only ever see in films when you unwittingly become the third person in a private conversation, or rather, overhear two others talking without meaning to. Some cosmic glitch, perhaps, or the operator simply misconnected lines: three callers patched together by mistake, two cities, two voices, sharing in those precious paid minutes the most important news. The cottage was no longer theirs, father had sold it for a handsome sum, and now well, now there was enough, even a little to help out Emily!
Her mums voice, so familiar, together with Aunt Alice her mums older sister filled the earpiece, separated by seventy odd miles and joined through electric currents fizzing down long wires. Physics always confounded Emily; Dad had often pressed her to learn.
***
Dad, whys the sun so different in September?
How do you mean, Em?
I dont know I can’t quite explain, but its softer somehow. Sunny, but not at all like August.
You ought to study your science, Em. The stars and planets have shifted! Here, catch this apple! Dad chuckled and lobbed an enormous, squat apple at her gleaming red, sticky with the sweet scent of honey.
Is it a Pippin?
No, theyre not ripe yet. This ones a Russet Stripe.
She bit into it, the crunch filling the air and her mouth flooding with sugary froth, all the warmth of rain-drenched earth packed inside. Apple varieties, like physics, were something Emily never learned properly. And there lay her greatest trouble these days! For Emily Fletcher, in Year Nine, had nursed a hopeless crush on her physics teacher for nearly two years. The world narrowed to a single point, the heavens parted, and yet matter and space would never fit the lines of a school exercise book. And Dad he knew all and said nothing, reading it in the distant look of his daughter’s eyes and with her loss of appetite. Shed confided the secret in him last year, sobbing like a small child in his lap through the night. Mum was away at the spa, and Alice was at university in another city.
At the cottage, Dad was always happiest, forever whistling little tunes, always on key. At home, he never did; only Mum and Alice ever sang, when they came back. Mum was a striking woman, head librarian at the barracks, tall, elegant, formidable. Her coppery curls she dyed with henna, and every couple of months would emerge from the bathroom swathed in a vast turban, smelling like grass and autumn rain. Everyone noticed her beauty, but Dad a decade her senior and several inches shorter faded into the background. Emily never forgot overhearing Mum say to Alice, Johns rather ordinary, but hes a man, he neednt be handsome, after all. Emily had been offended but never spoke of it.
Especially set beside Mums fiery hair, reckless ways, smashing crockery and commanding manner. Mum loved things neat, tidy, and would sigh at having Dads soldier lads over his old Army mates, often crashed out on the sitting room carpet of their small flat when passing through. After Dads retirement (he was let go in 1960, with Majors rank, in that sweeping army reduction), these men came by and always pitched in to help him build the cottage. They dug, hammered, ploughed never asking for payment. It was a tiny dwelling, just one room and a little veranda, where Emily spent summer days reading. Dad passed up bowls of gooseberries, cherries, or strawberries right to the roof. It was the best time, pure happiness. Mum rarely visited, determined to keep her hands soft, her nails immaculate. Emily admired them, and Dad kissed Mums hands when she dared bring them near any soil.
Those hands were made for lending out books, not digging up carrots, hed laugh, winking at Emily.
***
The first drops of September rain drummed merrily on the veranda roof, lively, not at all mournful. Emily tucked away her book.
Em, come down now, Mum and Alice will soon be here. Well need to get lunch ready, came Dads voice, unusually clear from the garden.
But Emily paused, tilting her face to the swollen grey heavens, rain soaking her cheeks. She hugged herself against the chill. Only up on the roof closer to the sky, further from the world below did she see the suns rays split through the cloud above the neighbours gardens. Physics forgotten and its rigid laws pushed aside, a fresher set of rules awaited Emily in her new university dormitory far away.
She moved into student halls almost at once, though the first week saw her camped in a rented room, sharing with landlady and students alike. Lectures swept her into uncharted depths of literature and language. Tutors drew worship from entire seminar groups an intoxicating charisma. But after classes, homesickness pressed in, thick and lonely, and friends were yet to be made.
Shed snack at the canteen then wander till nightfall through unfamiliar city streets, beauty in the bustle, but cold and aloof. It was as if she, Emily, wasn’t really there, descending the steep hill by the University main building, heading towards a new home, the barking of neighbourhood dogs echoing, stumbling once, scraping a shin in stiff new shoes.
On the kitchen, the air was sweet with Dads apples he’d brought crates for the landlady as thanks. The scent, rich and slightly overripe, brought tears to Emilys eyes until her soul ached and fluttered.
By the time halls were available, it turned out Emily’s roommates were three German students Viola, Maggie and Marion. By evening, the German language would leave her head spinning; shed sneak outside for fresh air, sitting with students who smoked on the steps. The German girls would dash out, bum cigarettes, and always made sure to pay her back, much to the confusion of the English students. They marvelled at her mums pickles, especially the tomatoes tucking in with fried potatoes. When Emilys supplies ran low, they’d break out the sausages they’d brought from home, though never shared them. By May, their placements ended and they returned to Germany, having left piles of winter boots by the bins boots specially bought for the Russian winters, snapped up quietly by the native students.
***
Em, slice up the cabbage, Ill dig up a carrot or two. Broths on! Dad announced one afternoon.
The tiny kitchen windows fogged up from hours of boiling. A giant cabbage spread its pale leaves across the chopping board. Emily tore off a leaf, munching; everything tasted best fresh from earth. She chopped with brisk, cheerful strokes, cabbage scenting the air. She let in autumn’s sour leaves, bonfire smoke and sharp apple. Through the window she saw Dads back, slow and stiff, leaning into the soil she knew his back ached. Emily ran out, flung her arms around him, clinging close. He turned, hugged her silently, planting a kiss atop her head.
That evening, Alice arrived alone Mum had a blinding headache and stayed home.
***
Years swept by university completed, a brief student marriage, a career start at the Innovations sheet in the nearby aircraft works, Dads first heart attack, Emilys daughter born, even divorce. So much happened within five years. Emilys husband left her for another woman; she lived with little Mary-Anne in a rented flat, scraping by. Dad tried to visit every fortnight, bringing groceries, playing with his granddaughter.
Em, dont be cross at Mum for not coming as often as I do, right? The journey makes her dreadfully queasy And, well, I think she may have a gentleman friend again
Dad! At her age? Surely not!
Dad laughed, bitterly. Then fell silent. Suddenly, Emily saw he was completely grey and much diminished. Even the whistling had stopped.
Dad, let me take leave next week. Lets go to the cottage while its still warm just the three of us, you, me and Mary-Anne?
***
The cottage was blanketed in leaves; Octobers last week, the mild Indian summer. They stoked the stove, brewed tea with blackcurrant leaves. Emily made potato cakes, Dad raked leaves, Mary-Anne helped then scattered them about, giggling. Butter spat and sizzled. From deeper in the orchard came Dads familiar whistling.
At dusk, they built a bonfire. The lane was empty, the cottages nearby deserted. Dad skewered thick chunks of bread with cherry twigs, helping Mary-Anne toast them over flames. Emily warmed her frozen hands; shed always been entranced by fire.
She remembered her first student work-party in Yorkshire, singing by guitar, dizzy with love for a feeling rather than a person a giddy adoration of starlit sky, silent fields, wafting chords, faces half-lit by flames, mysterious, deeper than daylight. There shed met her future husband. At work that week, shed been called before the Workers Committee for vetting into the Labour Party. Shed crammed party manifestos and rules all evening, then been interrogated instead about her divorce, probed about her character. Emily stammered, almost in tears, until a colleague leapt up, indignant:
This is a meeting of bullies, not party loyalists!
She would cringe to remember it years later.
They doused the fire as full darkness fell. Then outside the garden gate, a car pulled up. A door slammed. Mum had arrived, glamorous in a bright new coat, dropped off by a colleague from work. Mary-Anne rushed to her granny, Dad scowled, perfunctorily kissed Mum.
Whos this colleague? he asked.
Oh, John, dont fuss just a lift, you dont know him.
Dinner conversation faltered, Mary-Anne got fractious. Mum asked Emily about work, distracted, lost in her own thoughts. Dad sat silent, watching Mum his shoulders slowly sinking as the evening soured.
***
A year later, Dad was gone. Massive heart attack, passing quietly across two sunny October days. After the funeral, Emily took time off to stay at the cottage. Mary-Anne was sent to her grans.
Everything slipped through her hands. The apple harvest was heavier than ever. Emily gave away buckets to neighbours, boiled cauldrons of apple jam with mint and cinnamon Dads favourites. Dads old friend, Mr. Henry Byde, arrived to help, as he always did from their nursery trips in Kent for special fruit trees.
Ill stay a couple of days, Emily, dig over the plot and trim the trees, if thats all right?
Oh, Mr. Byde, youre too kind, thank you!
That old Emily from Dads lips drew tears, and it was then the heavy unmistakable despair settled in the finality and solitude. Shed half expected Dad to return, wished it all a bad dream. In those first days, half-awake at dawn, shed reach for memories, and the painful truth rolled in Dad was gone.
Guilt followed, for not saving him, for not doing enough.
Dont sell the cottage, Em, promise me. Ill keep coming, help as always. See that tree there the old Bramley your dad and I picked that one together, you were just a tot. On the way up to Kent, John talked more about you than Alice, you were a funny little thing. He always said, These trees will outlive me. He spent ages inspecting seedlings; Id get impatient
Mr. Byde stayed three days, dug over the plot, pruned apples, manured the soil, and with Emilys blessing planted three yellow chrysanthemum bushes by the step.
Theyd do better a bit earlier in the year, but its mild, theyll take! For Johns memory Youll need to cover the roses and clear leaves too, next time I come.
They hugged goodbye. Rain began to spit. Emily watched him go from the gate until he turned, waving her inside. Rain thickened, hissing gloomily on the roof. A gale slammed the gate, yellow petals spread on the step. Everything here was Dads, and always would be: the rain, the trees, the autumn scent the very earth. So he was close, always. Emily would learn, bit by bit. Shed visit with Mary-Anne through autumn till the first frost only two hours by coach. Then in spring, once the snow thawed, perhaps get the heating installed at last better start saving. And next spring, shed go to the Kent nursery with Mr. Byde, pick out a white currant bush, Dad had always longed for one
***
Six months later, just as the first snow fell in April, the cottage was sold. Emily discovered it quite by accident, on the phone from the post office, calling home after another nursery trip to Kent. In the cramped booth, a sapling white currant was wrapped at the roots in a damp old childs vest, resting in her shopping bag on the floor.







