Dont Stir Up the Past
Margaret often found herself pondering her life, especially after turning fifty. She couldnt call her marriage happy, all because of her husband, Edward. Theyd married young, truly in love, or so she thought. Somehow she missed the moment things started to change with him.
They lived in a small village, in the house of Edwards mother, Dorothy. Margaret tried to keep the peace, respected her mother-in-law, and Dorothy always treated her warmly. Margarets own mother lived in the next village with her youngest son, but was often unwell.
Dorothy, how do you get on with your daughter-in-law Margie? nosy villagers would ask her when bumping into her at the village shop or by the post box, sometimes just passing by on the lane.
Nothing bad to say about Margie. Shes respectful, keeps the house lovely, and is ever so helpful, Dorothy would reply without fail.
Oh, come off it! Since when was there peace between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? the village women would mutter in disbelief.
Thats your concern, Dorothy would retort and carry on her way.
Margaret had a daughter, Emily, and the whole family rejoiced.
Margie, that Emilys the spit of me! her mother-in-law would say, trying to find her own features in the granddaughters face, while Margaret laughed. It didnt matter to her who Emily took after.
When Emily was three, Margaret had a son, Oliver. The usual joyful chaos returned. Edward worked, Margaret looked after the children, and Dorothy was marvellously supportive. Life drifted by calmly. Edward didnt drink, at least not like some husbands. Other wives could often be found dragging their drunken other halves home from the pub, muttering curses as they struggled along High Street.
As Margaret was expecting her third child, she discovered her husband was unfaithful. In an English village, nothing stays secret for long word spread about Edward and Sarah, the widow. Margarets neighbour, Pauline, couldnt resist sharing what shed heard.
Margie, youre carrying Eds third, and hes off with other women! she blurted, quite unkindly.
Really? Ive not noticed a thing, Margaret replied, surprised.
Well, how would you, with two young ones, another on the way, the house, Dorothy, and all the chores. He pleases himself. Everyone knows hes got something going on with Sarah. She doesnt even try to hide it.
Margaret was deeply upset. Dorothy knew, but kept quiet, pitying her daughter-in-law. More than once, shed lectured her wayward son, but he always shrugged her off.
Mum, you havent seen anything. Gossip is just gossip thats what old women do, Edward would say.
One afternoon Pauline rushed over.
Margie, I just saw your Edward slip into Sarahs garden. I was coming back from the Co-op. Do you want to end up left alone with three kids? Go and give Sarah a piece of your mind! Youre pregnant, Ed wont dare lay a hand on you!
Margaret knew she didnt have the spine for a fight, especially with Sarah, who had a reputation for being tough and combative since her husband drowned while drunk. She paused to think, but eventually decided to go.
Ill look Edward in the eye, get the truth out of him. He always swears its nonsense, that people just gossip, she told Dorothy, who tried to persuade her otherwise.
Margie, dont go think of yourself and the baby
It was late autumn, already dark. Margaret knocked at Sarahs window, waiting for her to come out, but Sarah answered from inside.
What do you want? Why are you banging on my window?
Let me in, I know Eds here. People have told me, Margaret called out.
Oh, as if! Not opening the door to you. Dont make me laugh go home, Sarah replied, and Margaret could hear her chuckling.
After lingering for a moment, Margaret left, realising Sarah wouldnt let her in. Edward came home after midnight, tipsy. He didnt drink often, but sometimes he did. Margaret was awake.
Where were you? I know you hang round Sarahs, drinking with her. I went round, she wouldnt open the door dont pretend otherwise!
Oh, stop making things up, Edward protested. I was with Dave at the pub, time just got away from us.
Margaret didnt believe him, but kept her peace. It was late, and she disliked arguments. What could she do? Innocent until proven guilty, as the saying goes. She spent the night restless, thinking:
What could I do, with two young ones and another coming soon? Mums ill, and my brothers family is crammed in that house already. Theres no room for us.
Her mother always said the same whenever Margaret complained about Edwards infidelity.
Endure it, love, once youre married and have children, endure. Do you think it was easy for me with your father? He drank and chased us round the house, remember hiding at the neighbours? God eventually took him, but I held out. Your Ed doesnt drink much and doesnt hit you. Its always been the lot of women to bear things.
Margaret didnt agree with everything her mum said, but realised there was nowhere else for her to go. Dorothy also tried to reassure her.
Love, what would you do with the children? Lets just manage with Ed together.
Margaret had her third child, Grace, a poorly little thing who was sickly for quite a while. Margarets worry during pregnancy seemed to have affected Graces health, but eventually she calmed, and Dorothy gave her lots of love.
Margie, have you heard, Pauline rushed over again, ever the village grapevine, Sarahs taken in Michael his wife threw him out.
Well, good luck to her then, Margaret replied, relieved Edward might stop running to Sarahs.
But only a month later, Pauline was back.
Michaels left Sarah, gone back to his wife. Now shes looking for another man You hold on to Edward, or hell be off again, Pauline warned.
Soon, life settled; Edward mostly stayed home, and Dorothy was glad. Still, if a mans got a wandering spirit, he rarely settles down for long.
On her way back from the shop one day, Dorothy bumped into her old friend, Eleanor.
Dorothy, what got into your Ed? Margies a lovely wife and mother you always say so yourself. What more does he want?
Whats wrong, Eleanor Eds up to his tricks again, is he?
Oh, more than ever! Hes with Veronica now, the divorcée who works in the café
Dorothy didnt tell Margaret, but scolded Edward secretly. Margie found out anyway, courtesy of Pauline. Tears and pleas made no difference. Edward carried on seeing other women, though he never planned to leave his family. He knew hed never walk out on his wife and children, but he wasnt faithful either. It was convenient wife at home, children, mother, everything ticked over, and someone else for fun.
Dorothy now openly berated him, but a grown man hardly listens to his aging mother. Edward would shout, telling her to mind her own business.
Mum, I provide for my family. I bring in wages. You two just believe idle talk, Edward fended her off.
Years passed. The children grew up. Emily, the eldest, married someone from town where shed studied at college, and settled there. Oliver finished university in the city and married a local girl.
Grace, the youngest, was about to finish school, looking ahead to college in town. Edward was subdued now, home and work. He spent much of his time on the sofa his health was failing. He didnt touch drink anymore, not that he was ever heavy with it.
Margie, my heart feels strange, a bit of an ache in my back, hed moan. My knees are playing up, do you think thats arthritis? Perhaps I should see the doctor at the surgery.
Margaret didnt pity him. Her heart had hardened long ago under the burden of tears and disappointments before Edward finally quieted down.
Now his health betrays him he simply sits here and complains, she thought. Let his former women look after him.
Dorothy had passed away, buried beside her husband. The house was quiet, but sometimes the children and grandchildren would visit. This brought joy to both parents. Edward would complain about his health to them, and even blame Margaret for not caring for him. The eldest daughter brought medication, fussed over him, and then scolded her mother.
Mum, dont be hard on Dad, hes ill, Emily insisted, though this hurt Margaret her daughter was on her fathers side.
Emily, hes brought this on himself. His reckless youth has caught up with him. Ive lost my own health along the way, fretting over him, Margaret tried to explain.
Oliver too would encourage his father when visiting, spending more time with him men stick together, after all.
The children didnt quite understand their mother when she explained how their fathers infidelity had affected her, and how shed stuck it out for their sakes. How could she leave them without a dad? How hard and hurt shed felt. Yet what did she hear?
Mum, dont dwell on the past. Dont upset Dad, Emily would reply, and Oliver would echo her sentiment.
Mum, whats done is done, Oliver consoled, patting her arm.
Margaret sometimes felt slighted by the children siding with their father, but understood thats life.
The years showed her that holding onto past grievances only brings needless pain. Life keeps moving forward, and sometimes, acceptance and peace are wiser than reopening old wounds. Cherish what remains and choose kindness, for we cannot rewrite yesterday, but we can lighten the burdens of today.
