You know, after eleven years of marriage, my husband walked out on me. And the reason he gave, honestly, was almost laughably straightforward: he said Id stopped taking care of myself. Apparently, it had been bothering him for a while, though hed never once said anything openly about it.
When we first met, I made an effort every single daymakeup on, nice clothes, always had my hair done. I was working, going out, making time for myself. Then the kids came along, routine kicked in, the responsibilities piled up. I kept working, but suddenly I was also looking after the house, doing all the cooking and cleaning, organising doctors appointmentsthe whole lot that keeps a family ticking over but hardly ever gets noticed.
My days started before six in the morning and ended well after midnight. More times than I can count, Id leg it out the door with no makeup on simply because there wasnt a spare minute. Id throw on whatever clean top I could find, not because I didnt care, but because I was flat-out knackered. Hed come home, eat his tea, pop the telly on and fall asleep on the sofa. Not once did he ask me how I was, or if I needed a hand with anything.
As time went on, the little digs started. That I didnt make the same effort anymore. That I didnt wear dresses. That I looked a bit of a state, really. I honestly thought they were just offhand comments. Never in a million years did I think theyd actually be a reason to leave. He never said anything like, I feel distant from you, or We need to talk. He just packed his bags and left, just like that.
The day he left, he said it to my face. That he didnt feel the same way anymore, that Id changed, that he missed the woman who used to make herself look nice for him. I reminded him of everything Id done for our home, our kids, all the work Id put in for us. He told me it wasnt enoughhe needed to be proud of his wife.
He packed his things quietly and that was it. Just a few days later I found out he was already seeing someone else. Someone with no kids, with all the time in the world for the gym and getting dolled up every day. Thats when it hit me: makeup was never really the issue.
These days, I still get up early, still work, still keep our home together. I make an effort with myself when I feel like it, not because anyone else expects it. I didnt stop looking after myself out of a lack of loveI stopped because I was carrying absolutely everything on my shoulders. But he still decided to walk away. Sometimes I think about joining a gym, but I simply havent got the time. Anyway, its clear nowhe didnt really want me, did he?
