Mum, Smile
Emily never liked it when the neighbours popped round and asked her mother to sing a song.
Come on, Anne, sing us something your voice is as lovely as your dancing, theyd say. Her mum would start to hum a tune, the neighbours would join in, and sometimes they’d all whirl around the garden in a strange, waltzing circle, like leaves blown about the lawn. Even the roses would seem to bob along in time.
At the time, Emily lived with her parents in a little English village, in a small, slightly lopsided house with her younger brother, Tommy. Her mum was cheerful and welcoming after the neighbours left, shed always say:
Come by again next time. That was a good old chinwag, and theyd promise to return.
But Emily hated when her mum sang and danced, and felt a peculiar shame she couldnt quite explain. She was in Year 5 back then, and one day she blurted out,
Mum, please dont sing. And dont dance, either… I get embarrassed.
She never truly understood why. Even as an adult now a mother herself she cant put it into words. But Anne had simply answered,
Emily, you mustnt be embarrassed. When I sing, it means Im happy. Best to feel joy while it lasts I wont be singing all my life just while Im young.
But Emily hadnt realised then that happiness can flutter away without warning.
When Emily was in Year 6 and Tommy was only in Year 2, their dad left. He packed a battered brown suitcase and disappeared for good. Emily never quite knew what happened between her parents. Not until she was a teenager and finally asked,
Mum, why did Dad leave us?
Youll understand when youre older, her mum replied.
What Anne couldnt tell her daughter yet was that shed come home from the village post office, having forgotten her purse full of pounds, and found her husband in their bedroom with another woman Vera, their neighbour from two doors down. The door had been left wide open. Anne had been surprised it was only barely gone eleven in the morning, and her husband was meant to be at work. But there they were, Ivan and Vera, sitting on the edge of the bed, wide-eyed and grinning as though she was the unexpected guest at a peculiar tea party.
That evening, when her husband returned home, an argument burst through the house. The children, playing outside, heard nothing.
Ive packed your things in a bag. Take them and go. Ill not forgive this, Anne said sharply, her voice hollow.
Ivan knew forgiveness wouldnt come, but tried anyway.
Anne, come on, lets forget it its nothing. Weve got kids together.
I said, go. Anne stepped out into the garden, shutting the conversation (and her heart) behind her.
Ivan heaved up his possessions and slipped away. Anne watched in secret from around the corner of the house, her soul burning with betrayal. She stood in the long twilight, whispering, Well manage, the children and I. But she wept. And never forgave him.
So she remained, alone with two children. She knew it would be difficult, but hadnt realized quite how wrenching it would be. She took on two jobs: cleaning the village primary school by day, kneading dough through the small, floury hours of morning at the local bakery. She barely slept. Her smile vanished like milk in the rain.
Although their dad had left, Emily and Tommy still saw him. Hed taken a house just four doors down. Vera, his new partner, had a boy the same age as Tommy they sat in the same class at school. Anne never forbade the children from visiting their father; they played together at his house or in the road. But when hungry, Emily and Tommy always came back home. Vera offered no snacks, no warmth just playtime.
Once in a while, Veras boy came along to Emilys house. The neighbours watched from behind their net curtains, puzzled. Anne always fed everyone, never resentful of her childrens half-brother. But Emily never saw her mother smile again. She was kind and caring, but quieter, wrapped in her own silence.
Sometimes, coming home from school, Emily wished her mother would talk to her, so shed chatter nonsense about lessons,
Mum, guess what? Thomas brought a kitten to class today. It wouldnt stop meowing! Miss couldnt figure it out she scolded Thomas, then we told her about the kitten in his backpack. She sent him out with the kitten and called his mum to the school
Mm. I see, was all Anne would manage, staring out at the drizzle.
Emily saw that nothing could lift her mother. Shed even heard her sobbing in the middle of the night, her silhouette unmoving at the window, moonlit and still, as though waiting for something only the night could bring.
Grown up, Emily would finally understand,
Mum was simply exhausted, always working, never sleeping. Must have run herself out of vitamins. Still, she never let us go ragged; our clothes were always neat, clean, and pressed shed muse many years later.
Back then, she would simply ask,
Mum, smile, please. I havent seen you smile in ages.
Anne loved her children deeply, though her affections were quiet. She rarely hugged them, but shed praise them when their report cards were good or when they caused her no trouble. She always cooked a strong Sunday roast and kept the house spotless.
Emily felt her mothers love when Anne plaited her hair fingers gentle yet heavy with sadness, shoulders slumping with each stroke. Annes teeth began falling out far too early, although she never got dentures.
When Emily finished school, she never considered university. She didnt want to leave her mum behind, not when money was so thin. She got a job at the local shop, barely a five-minute walk from their cottage. She tried her best to help; Tommy was growing fast and needed new shoes every season.
One ordinary day, a stranger called Michael wandered into the shop. He wasnt local his accent carried hints from a distant shire.
Whats your name, lovely? he asked, grinning. You must be new, I havent seen you here and I pop in when passing.
Emily. I havent seen you either.
Im from over in Fernleigh thats about eight miles out. Michaels the name.
And so they met. Michael began to drive in regularly, waiting for Emily after work. Theyd walk among the hedgerows or sit in his old Vauxhall. Once, he even took her to his own village for Sunday lunch. He lived with his mother, who was gravely ill; his ex-wife had packed up and taken their daughter to London, unwilling to play nurse to her mother-in-law.
Michael had a fine house, sprawling and drafty, with all the odd corners of a countryside home. He laid out a lavish tea clotted cream, roast beef, a tin of Roses chocolates. Emily liked it there.
His mother kept to her room, but the house buzzed with the scent of baking and jam.
Emily, will you marry me? Michael asked one evening. Youre the best thing Ive known. Ill be honest, Ill need your help with Mum, but Ill do my part.
Emily didnt show her gladness, but inside she glowed. It was nothing to help care for his mother.
Best of all, Ill get to eat as much beef and cream as I like! she joked to herself, then out loud, Alright, Michael. I will.
He beamed. Emily, I love you, I truly do. I thought you, as a young lass, would never want an older, twice-burned man like me. Ill never mistreat you. Well be happy.
And so she moved in. There was more happiness than shed dared hope, and soon enough, two boys arrived in quick succession. She never went out to work again; the house was big, the work never-ending, though Michaels mother died two years in. Still, the chickens needed feeding and the cows milking, and Emilys hands learned the country ways. Michael would fuss if he caught her hauling buckets herself.
Leave the heavy lifting for me, hed grumble affectionately. You mind the cows and the eggs, Ill mind the pigs.
He was a generous husband.
Lets take some beef, cream, and milk to your mum, hed say. No sense her buying things we have in plenty.
Anne would accept the gifts with gratitude, but never a smile. Even around her grandsons, she stayed solemn. They visited often Emily felt her mothers sorrow and wished she could bring her back to life.
Emily, perhaps you should visit the vicar at church, Michael suggested. She liked the idea.
The vicar promised prayers and said, Ask God that your mother meets a kind soul on her path. Emily did just so.
One day, Anne asked her,
Daughter, might you lend me some money? Id like to get some teeth put in.
Oh, Mum! Of course, Ill pay for everything, Emily was overjoyed, though she knew Anne would insist on repaying.
A few weeks passed. They spoke on the phone Emily hadnt found time to visit, her husband was busy helping his Uncle Colin, who had just moved into the village after his wife booted him from their home in town. Michael was arranging things for him, and the house was nearby, well-built and sturdy.
Occasionally theyd stop in, Emily and Michael, to check on Colin.
One day, Michael came home and said, I think Uncle Colin might be courting someone. I stopped by and overheard him nattering on the phone
Good! No sense being on his own in that big house. Needs a lady to keep it straight, Emily approved.
Soon, Colin himself came by.
Wanted to invite you both round for tea. Found my first sweetheart we were at school together, you know. Shes moving in tomorrow. Pop by the day after.
Two days later, Emily and Michael arrived at Colins house, bearing a jam tart and flowers. When Emily stepped inside, she froze in disbelief. Her own mother, Anne, stood before her, bashful but beaming. Anne looked wonderful transformed and glowing.
Mum! Im so glad Why didnt you say?
I didnt want to mention anything before in case it didnt work out.
And you, Uncle Colin, why didnt you say?
I was afraid Anne might change her mind. But now were so happy.
Michael and Emily were overjoyed that Anne and Colin had found each other. And now, at last, Anne sparkled and she smiled, all the time.
