My husbands parents simply refuse to let things bethey keep trying to reunite him with his ex-wife. Dont you understand? They have a son together! my mother-in-law always complains.
So, let me tell you from the start. Im married to a man whose parents just cannot accept hes divorced. Its been over four years now, but theyre forever plotting their little reconciliations. He and I tied the knot three years ago and honestly, our life is quite lovely.
According to my mother-in-law, her son acted rashly, made a horrible mistake, and now ought to do everything possible to make peace with his ex-wifes familyall for the sake of their son.
When I met Adam, his divorce was already final and apparently agreed on by both sides. Shed remarried, seemingly blissfully, and according to Adam, another man was the real reason for their split.
Maybe we rushed into things by getting hitched. My mum was all for itshe said we should get married. His ex was expecting and, in his words, I wasnt even in love. I just went along with it. If she hadnt gotten pregnant, I wouldnt have married her. Thats what Adam told me.
I never felt threatened by his ex. Early on, I made it my business to watch closely. It was pretty clear Adam didnt miss his old family or care for his ex-wife anymore. His ex didnt seem bothered by him either; now shes settled in her new marriage and only speaks to Adam about their son.
But Adams mother simply cant cope with that situation. Nor can his father. Theyre always thinking of ways to glue the family back together, and theyve always viewed my relationship with Adam with thinly-veiled disapproval.
Youre still young. You could have anything ahead of you. Why tie yourself to someone elses family? shed ask me when we were on our own.
I told her straight: If Adam were married, Id stay away. But hes not, and thats that. She wanted to say more but Adam walked in and she went quiet. Thats when I realisedthere was never going to be a warm, fuzzy friendship between me and my mother-in-law. Honestly though, I didnt lose much sleep over it.
Adam and I married and moved in together. I kept my distance from his mum besides the usual family gatherings, and even then, I could always count on a lecture about Adams ex-family. Hed try (with not much luck) to hush his mother, but it always flared up again.
We werent in any hurry to have children. I just didnt see myself as a mum at that point, and Adam already had a son, which seemed to satisfy my mother-in-law, at least for a while.
Once Adams divorce was final, his mum got to work. Shed invite the ex-daughter-in-law round for the holidays, gaze at the two of them like shed just watched a Shakespeare romance, and heap compliments on her at every turn.
Adams ex barely seemed to carejust turned up and that was it. You could feel how disinterested she was.
But my mother-in-law kept trying to make Adam jealous or rile me up. Shed ring me up asking, Do you know where Adam is? And if I had no clue, shed say, He must be with her! Or shed send him on some errand to his ex. All sorts of little tactics.
Im honestly not a jealous person, but it grates on me. Anyone looking at Adam and his ex would see theres nothing therejust two people who share a son. Managing a child together doesnt make anything easier, mind. Adam dutifully sends money to his ex, chats to his son sometimes, and occasionally his lad comes to visit us. The ex isnt out to cause troubleshe doesnt demand money or mess around with access. They both act grown up about everything. Its just: things didnt work out, and now they get on with their lives and respect each other.
Shame my mother-in-law cant see it that way. Shes forever scheming, coming up with new ways to make drama. I dont know whenor ifshell give it a rest. Adam thinks shell calm down once I give her another grandchild, but honestly, Im not holding my breath.
