Im 89 years old. Someone tried to scam me on the phone. But Im an engineer.
That Tuesday morning, I was enjoying a cup of peppermint tea while working through a sudoku puzzle. Im 93 now, and my mind is as sharp as it was back in the 60s when I was programming computers.
Mrs. Thompson? came a slick voice on the other end. Were calling about some irregularities with your account. Weve detected suspicious activity.
Ah. Another one.
Oh dear, how frightening, I replied, slipping easily into my best frail old lady act. What should I do, young man?
We just need you to confirm your bank card number.
Of course, of course just let me find my glasses I let a pause stretch out. Actually, why dont you tell me the last four digits, and Ill confirm if you really are from the bank? Just to make sure youre legitimate.
An awkward silence followed.
Thats not how it works, madam. We need the full number.
I see, I sighed. Could you tell me something first? The line youre calling fromis it a standard VoIP protocol or do you use end-to-end encryption?
Another pause.
Madam, we just need you to
I only ask because, while were speaking, I continued calmly, Ive traced your IP address. Interesting calling from an internet café. Did you know I spent forty years designing security systems? Im a systems engineer. You learn a few things in that line of work.
I madam
Oh, and another thing, I added. Ive just activated a script on my line. Right now, its pulling data from your device. Shall I read out your contact list, or would you prefer I just forward it straight to the authorities?
I heard him swallow.
Thats illegal
Illegal? I chuckled. Young man, I was writing code before your gran could walk. And by the way, Im recording this entire conversationmetadata included. Do you know the best bit? I can see your screen. Hello, David. Nice profile picture. Does your mother know what youre up to?
Click.
He hung up.
I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my tea. Then I called my grandsonthe one who always jokes that I dont get technology.
Oliver, I told him when he answered, I just outsmarted a scammer who tried to rob me. Still think your old gran doesnt understand the internet?
Sometimes age brings a wisdom that no scammer can outwit, and a good sense of humour is often your best shield.
