Diary Entry Betrayed by Ones Own
Once again, I watched in awe as my brother and sister, John and Emily, took to the stage. They were strikingtall, with jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes. The pair were being congratulated, having once again taken first prize in another school competition.
I hurried to be the first to reach them, limping a bit on my right leg. In my hands, I clutched two little knitted bunniesId made one in a dress and the other in checked trousers. I wanted to give them as a present. I knew I wasnt much to look at: heavyset, with sparse hair pinned back any old way, an awkward smile wobbling at the corners of my mouth. But I believed theyd at least smile.
But John and Emily pretended not to see me, weaving expertly through the crowd. I pressed ahead, calling, Excuse me, please! Those are my brother and sister! Let me through! My voice was bright with hope.
Emilys friend, the fair-haired Beth, turned to her and asked, Em, theres some fat girl here shouting shes your sister. Is that true?
Emily glanced back. Oh, her, she thought with a private grimace. Aloud, she replied, Of course not! Johns my only sibling.
Beth snorted. Thought so. Clingy much? Looks like shes trying to force some weird toys on you.
Probably our local fan, Emily laughed sarcastically. Take the toys off her, Beth, and catch up with us. John and I are off to get our awards.
Beth took the bunnies from my hands, saying shed make sure they got them.
Lovely! Ill wait for you at home! Ill bake scones! I said, lopsidedly hobbling away.
Beth tossed the bunnies in a nearby bin and later confessed, She said shed wait at home for you, bake you scones. Shes just like a scone herself. Are you two really not related? Whys she after you?
Of course not! I dont know her! Loads of people want to be close to fame, Emily lied easily.
But, in truth, I was their sisterwell, half-sister. Mum, Helen Johnson, had taken me in after a distant relation passed, leaving me alone at a young age, and handicapped.
Helen, my mum by name only, wasnt closely relatedreally just a distant cousin. Shed brought me into her home despite much moaning from her husband and their two precious children. John and Emily had grown up wanting for nothingspoiled, honestly.
Mum, dont bring her here! Shes fat, limps, and slow. Its embarrassing to even stand next to her! theyd whined.
Helen tried to reason, Shes just a girl, all alone. If people take in stray cats and dogs, surely it wont hurt us to offer a home to a lonely child. We have more than enough room.
They only agreed with much protest. Helen ran a local shop and provided the familys main income; the kids father, Charles, was her assistant and not much for effort, always caught up in dodgy affairs behind her back. If Helen suspected, she kept silenthe was handsome, after all, and his looks carried on to John and Emily.
I grew up chubby and awkward, fair hair with eyes like my siblingsblue, almost transparent.
Her eyes are like watered down milk. Fatty! Emily would laugh.
I looked like a bun, round-faced with dimples. Kind to a fault. But always alone, never invited to their games. Every mishap was blamed on meJohn smashed a vase, Emily tore a blouse, and I silently took the blame, wishing to protect the beautiful ones from getting scolded.
Even Helen didnt scold me, not really, but Charleshed shout: Why on earth did you bring this scarecrow home? Embarrassing! She cant even walk properly and weighs more than a baby elephant! Our real kids are stunning, so you brought this mess here for contrast? No one else wanted her, and you lumbered us with her! Who will ever need her?
Id listen by the closed door, then look in the mirror, wishing to be as beautiful as John and Emily, but knowing I never would be.
Helen eventually put me in a different schooltheyd threatened to skip lessons and ruin their grades if I stayed. Helen saw the fragile bridge between her children and me had nearly snapped and felt powerless.
Time passed. John and Emily went off to university, but I wanted to stay home.
Darling, you could go anywhere you want! Ill pay your waydesigner, translator, anything! Helen hugged me tight.
Like a kitten, I nuzzled her cheek. The affection I had for her was warmer than what her own children showed.
Whenever Helen was late from work, Id be there to greet her, even if it was cold. Her husband and children rarely even popped downstairs to say hello. When Helen tried to tell them off, Emily shouted, Mum, were busy! That idiot waits for you like a puppy because shes got nothing better to do. She has no real dreams!
I looked at Helen with my pale eyes and whispered, Mum, can I work with animals? Dogs, cats, hamsters, pigs. I want to be a vetand theres a school for that here.
In a way, it was natural. I was forever bringing home lost kittens and puppies, nursing them to health. One big shaggy mongrel was the only pet I keptEmily complained, wanting a pedigree, but Helen backed me up.
Then Helens health declined and she had to retire. Her husband zipped off to the local hairdresser, Helens friend, when money began to run dry. The grownup kids were only interested in their mothers savings, which thankfully still existed.
Only I stayed. I cooked for Helen daily, gave her massages, made herbal teas. Evenings, wed sit under the apple tree with mugs of tea, and I was the happiest Id ever felt.
John and Emily both started familiesHelen even helped them buy homes. Then disaster struck. John came home at four in the morning, blubbering about debts. He needed a huge sum.
What now? Where will we find so much? Did you ask your father? He hasnt any moneynever has. Even if I give you everything, its not a tenth! What will we do? Helen clutched her chest.
John shrugged. Well, Mum, if thats the case, then you can forget me as your son.
Helen hugged him, shocked.
His craftily suggested solution was to sell the family cottagethe proceeds would cover it.
But John what will happen to us? Me and she hesitated, Anna? Where will we live?
He scoffed. No interest in that fat idiot. Shes grown up, time to provide for herself. Anyway, youll come live with me and Sarah! Shell love it. John grinned, but I knew his wife didnt welcome the idea. Still, Helen agreed, so long as I could join. John was forced to say yes. But later I pulled mum aside and said,
Mum, you go on alone. Ive been seeing someone and Ill move in with himhes asked me for ages. Please dont worry about me.
Helen looked shocked but I insisted.
The truth was, there was no boyfriend. I knew they didnt want me with them, and I was scared Mum would worry herself more if she thought I was in the way, her health already so delicate. No, I just loved her too much to risk it.
I found a room by answering an ada lonely widower named Mr. Proctor needed help at his house in the countryside. Chickens, sheep, piglets everywhere. He was thrilled I was a vet, never stopped shoving my rent back in my bagbut I insisted.
Things went well. I had a place to stay, work respected me, animals adored me. No creature feared me, I always found a gentle word for each of them, and bought treats for my patients with my own wages.
Oh Simba, heres a treat from Anna! No need to worry, love. Call me anytime if theres trouble! Id tell clients.
Love, my cats never been greeted like this at the vets! Youre golden, one customer proclaimed.
Yet, I worriedhow was Mum? I called often, but she grew distant; eventually, only John answered, rudely telling me not to call.
I miss her so muchhavent seen her in half a year, I sighed one evening, sharing tea with Mr. Proctor.
Why dont you visit? Ill take youI still have my old Ford Fiesta, ancient but she runs! Got my licence and all, the old man kindly urged.
So, we drove to Johns address. Knocked and knocked. Finally, a tall, peroxide-blonde in a short robe opened the door, yawning.
Who are you? Selling something? We dont need anything! She tried to slam the door.
You must be Sarah? Johns wife? I said.
Yeah, and you are?
Im Anna! His sister! I stepped forward, but she blocked the way.
So? What do you want? Im off to my facial appointment and Im busy.
I just want to see Mumthis is Mr. Proctor, a friend. I wont stop long. Is she in?
Shes not here. John took her to a homeshe went downhill, couldnt cope. Johns working, I have my own life, so I dont know what place it is. Never even visited. Hold on, Ill call him. John? That Annas here. Some weird old mans with her. Want their address? Fine. Heres a note. And dont come round again.
I barely listened, grabbed the address, dashed downstairs with Mr. Proctor.
How could they not tell me? Id have made room for Mumanything. But I suppose, with no home of my own, they just I trailed off, devastated.
Shouldve told us! Mr. Proctor huffed. You two could have stayed with mebig house, plenty of room. This isnt right at all.
We found the care home. MumHelenwas a shadow of her former self, frail and lost. Once full of vigour, always helping people, she now lay staring up at the ceiling, hopeless.
Mum! Its me, Anna. Im sorry I didnt come sooner. I love you! Lets go homeMr. Proctor has chickens, youll have fresh eggs. Ill help you get better. Please, mum, speak to me! I love you so much! Tears spilled as I gripped her soft, bony hand.
By some miracle, we were allowed to take her home. On paper, I was still her daughter, and Mr. Proctor made a very fierce case, threatening to call every old army friend he had if they didnt let Mum go with us. John had fixed it so shed never come back, but the law was on our side.
Ten days later, Helen stood on her own, gazing out the window at the yardhens clucking, a rooster crowed, fresh grass and milk on the airand the sweet scent of scones that I baked for her every day. Limping in, I burst into tears and told her how sorry I was for everything, for not coming sooner, for not giving her the life that John and Emily did. She hugged me in silence, as though she finally saw the funny, awkward girl shed once brought home, the only one who stayed when the beautiful ones abandoned her at the end of her life.
Its all right, Anna, my darling. Everythings all right now, she whispered.
Ladies! Fancy some tea? Mr. Proctor called, ambling in with a beaming smile.
We went in together, hand in hand, stepping into a new lifea family forged not by blood, but by kindness and care.
If Ive learned anything, its this: sometimes the family who love you most arent the ones who share your name, but the ones who share your heart.
