So, imagine this: Margarets on her way back from the supermarket, arms laden with shopping bags, chattering away with her neighbour, Patricia. When they turn the corner onto Margarets road, they spot a truly swanky car parked right by Margarets gate. Margarets posture immediately straightens. You know that look, proud as anything.
Oh, would you look at that! My future son-in-law, here bright and early, she beams.
Patricia glances at the car, her lips twisting into a sly little smirk.
So youre already calling him your son-in-law, are you? Steady on, he hasnt even proposed to Mary yet! And you never really know, do you? What do we actually know about this bloke? For all we know, hes dodgyor some slick conman.
Margaret just waves her off, lips pursed.
Oh, dont be so negative. Hes a gent, thats for sure, and hes got proper intentions towards Mary. Anyway, enough chat, Ive got things to do. Need to put the kettle on for our guest. And just as well, brought some posh chocolates to go with the tea.
She grabs her groceries and hurries to her front door, practically running. Patricia watches her go, her expression all sour grapes.
So thats the reason! she mutters to herself. No wonder she picked up the priciest ham, fancy chocolate, and proper cheddar. Shes rolling out the red carpet for that guest. She cant wait to marry off her daft Mary.
***
Margarets all smiles by the time she walks inside. And what does she see? Her daughter Mary sitting on a stool in the kitchen, and right next to herhim, the guest.
The would-be son-in-law leans right in, gazing deeply into Marys eyes. The minute Margaret clatters the door, he straightens up and backs away, as if theyd been caught out. Obvious whats going onthose two are all over each other!
Hes the model of politeness, as always. Turns out, hes brought Mary some flowers, a box of chocolates, andbless hima boxed perfume.
He practically bows to Margaret, eager to please. And she cant take her eyes off him.
Oh, darling, isnt he lovely! Bit of grey at the temples, but that just makes him look even more distinguished. He looks like a proper lord! she later gushes to Mary, almost breathless from excitement.
Mary gives her a little smug smile, clearly quite pleased with herself.
He is very well-bred, Mum.
So, come on thenwhat did he come for? Finally brought gifts and flowers to actually propose? Margaret prods.
Marys mood shifts instantly, her smile fading.
No, Mum. He hasnt proposed. He just wanted me to go out for the evening with him, to the theatre in town.
Margarets face drops.
Oh, is that all… Trying to rope you into another night out, eh? We know what these city types are likemessing around in town with god knows who, then driving out here to string along new victims.
A date, he says… Oh, Mary, I think youve landed yourself a real Casanova. Hes been driving up here for two months now and still hasnt uttered a word about marriage!
Mum
What, Mum? Youre thirty already! And hes pushing forty! Why on earth wouldnt you just get married? He keeps ditheringwhats he waiting for? If he cant make up his mind, he might as well clear off!
Mum, well sort it. Leave it.
You just hush and listen to your mother! Margaret snaps, marching over to Mary and yanking away the bit of ham shes nibbling.
Put it back! You still need to watch your figure! And that hams expensivehell be back for tea tomorrow, and Ill have nothing to serve him. Lets save it.
Mary just looks at her mum with those striking blue eyes and quietly asks,
Mum, why are you wound up again? Whats wrong this time?
Margaret shoves the ham into the fridge, clattering plates as she tidies up.
She even swipes the plate of cheddar out from under Marys nose and snatches the bowl of chocolates too. With a huff, she glares at Mary and fires out,
Im worried! He keeps coming round, everyone in the village is talking, and what if he just ups and leaves us? And youre not twenty any moretheyre starting to call you an old maid, you know!
And after this this aristocrat of yours has been and gone, the other fellas will never come calling again!
Dont fret, Mum, Mary says with a smile. Hes not going anywhere, honestly.
***
A week later, picture Margaret in tears, packing up Marys suitcase. She always believed Mary was such a good girlwell, turns out shes got news.
Marys expecting. When Margaret asks how and when it all happened, Mary just grins mischievously.
He used to give me a lift to the woodsberry picking and all that. Hed wait for me just outside, to drive me home. Really, he just couldnt get enough of mewho can blame him, I am gorgeous!
Right, right Margaret sighs. So, was it in the woods then? How did I let that slip in your upbringing, eh?
Marys tucking into the precious ham and cheddar, smiling away.
None of that matters now, Mum. Best part is, hes marrying me!
Well invite absolutely everyone to the wedding, mark my words! Margaret insists. “Oh, how will I let you leave for the big city, youre my only one, darling.
Ill visit all the time, Mum
Neighbours are banging on the door, voices echoing down the street:
Margaret, your daughters getting married and you kept it quiet!
Shes off to town! Margaret shouts, rushing round the house.
Oh, and weve come empty handedits not right, you should have said!
No gifts needed, shes just moving to town with her fiancé.
Oh, what lovely news!
***
Off goes Margarets only daughter, whisked away by her chap to the city.
Mary rings up, telling her mum all about the impressive house her (future) husbands got.
Margaret waits and waits for news about the wedding but after a month, nothing. Then two, then six. And then one day, Patricia comes flying to Margaret with the latest gossip:
I saw Mary in townwith a pram!
With a pram?! Margaret nearly faints on the spot.
She barely remembers how she threw on her coat and flew out the door, catching the bus to the city.
Marys had a baby girl, and never even told her! Imaginenot telling your own mum about becoming a grandmother!
Margaret calls Mary the second she gets into the city. Luckily, theres signal in town, unlike back in the village.
It takes Mary a while to answer, constantly cutting the calls, which makes Margaret fume even more.
So, where are you then? Margaret shouts down the line at last, drawing plenty of looks. Im at the stationcome get me! And please, explain why youve had a baby and I had no idea?!
Mary finally arrives, alone, hailing a black cab, eyes down.
Mum, Im sorryI just didnt know how to tell you. Ive had a daughter. Named her Ivy. She looks just like you
Were living in Pauls house now. Hes got such a beautiful place!
And?
Margaret eyes her daughter fiercely.
Are you ashamed of me, Mary? Just tell me if you are!
Mary pales. No, Mum! Honestly, its not that! And I never would be. The thing is Paul lives with his mother.
That house, and the car Paul drives, all belong to her. And Paul follows her rules. Shes not letting him marry me.
***
Margaret marches into that house absolutely determined to set things straight.
What sort of nonsense is this? A grown man, brings home his expectant girlfriend, and the mother refuses her sons hand in marriage!
Not bothered by Paul or even her new granddaughterwhom Mary tries to hand overMargaret storms around, looking for this Mum, who turns out to be tinkling away upstairs on a grand piano.
Margaret clears her throat and demands attention, but the woman ignores her, so Margaret marches up and shuts the piano lid with a thud.
The poised woman turns, giving Margaret a frosty glare.
Whats the meaning of this? she asks sharply. Who are you?
Im Marys mother! Margaret barks. Isnt it a bit much to be banging away on the piano when theres a baby trying to sleep?
You mean Ivy? Shes already had her nap, the pianist snips coldly. And anyway, it depends who you think is disturbing whom, doesnt it?
So you think the babys bothering you? Margaret protests. Heres a simple solution: why dont you move out and let the young couple have some peace and quiet?
Why should I leave my own house? the woman scoffs.
Because youre making life miserable for the young family.
Miserable, am I? she drawls. Well, nobodys forcing them to stay. The doors opentheyre welcome to leave any time.
So you dont even care about your granddaughter? Margaret exclaims.
The woman just looks at her coldly and says,
And you are Margaret, was it? Listen, Margaretwhy should I worry about your daughter and granddaughter when theyve got you and Paul? Ive already given your daughter my most precious thing: my son! My right-hand man, my driver, my support. Isnt that enough? Or are you planning to throw me out of my own home as well?
If you so much as try, Ill call who I need to, and youll be thrown out as a troublemaker. Push me much more, and all four of you can dash back to your little villagedaughter, granddaughter and son-in-law in tow!
Paul bursts in, having overheard the raised voices. He hustles Margaret into the kitchen, where Marys already poured the tea.
***
Tea fixes everything, doesnt it? Margaret scowls at the old dragon, who just sips her tea with a sly little grin.
Ill outlive you yet, Margaret thinks, as the two women lock horns silently.
Paul senses his mother-in-laws tenacity and shoots anxious looks to Mary under the table, practically begging her to intervene.
Mary knows a talk with her mum is overdueMargarets like a stubborn old ram, always charging right in.
Mum! she says, pulling Margaret into Pauls study while the dragon thrashes away on the piano upstairs. We need a proper chat!
About what? Margaret fumes. I can see youve got nowhere after all this time! That woman has you both wrapped round her little finger!
Shes not my mother-in-law, Mum, Mary says quietly. Shes actually Pauls wifehis first and only wife.
Margarets outrage is almost comical.
What? How could you end up in this situation?
Mary looks ever so sad but determined.
Mum, look how wealthy Paul is. Thats because hes married. Twenty years ago, when she was almost fifty, he married her. She never wanted kids, said children werent for her.
Margarets stunned, blinking as she surveys the grand surroundingsgold wallpaper, velvet drapes, fancy furniture, books everywhere. Its a palace! All of it obviously costs a fortune.
It all belongs to her, Mary continues. I didnt understand at firstmoved in thinking she was Pauls mum. Then, when I tried fighting her off, just like you, Paul confessed the truth.
That snake! Margaret huffs. And why are you still here?
You know why, Mum. Paul wants a real familya wife, a child She never agreed. He stuck by her, but hes getting on, and she eventually allowed him to have well, a mistress. Me. But they havent been together as man and wife for years, theyre basically flatmates.
Thats enough! Margaret stands up. Pack your things, grab your daughter, and lets go homeback to the village!
But Mary, chin lifted, stands her ground.
What? Absolutely not, Mum. Im staying with Paul, right here! One day, hell be a widower, and then hell marry me for real.
And until then, shell make your life hell!
So be it, Mum. Its my choice, my life.
Suit yourselfbe a doormat, live without any rights, see if I care! Im off. I cant do this anymore!
***
Now, for Margaret, the days stretch on endlesslydull, empty, meaningless. She lives off village gossip now.
Patricias daughter got married, had a son. Margaret pops round to see Patricias grandson, sighing and thinking about Mary and little Ivy.
Eventually, her heart cant take the longing. She locks up the house and heads to the city.
She lurks just beyond the gate of that big house, hides herself, and watches.
And there she sees her granddaughter, Ivy, toddling about the garden with two fluffy poodles, giggling and shouting, Granny, Granny!to Pauls wife.
Well, thats rich, Margaret thinks, seething with envy. Shes nothing to the girl. Im the real granny!
Margaret comes out of hiding and hammers on the gate.
***
They dont chuck Granny Margaret out. Even the lady of the house just says, Its a big placeplenty of room for everyone.
She and Margaret stop arguing, not really friends, but occasionally exchanging snide jokes while weeding flowerbeds or playing hide and seek with Ivy.
Oh, youve turned up then? Frightened Im mistreating your daughter? Good job reallyshes a total wet blanket, needs protecting. If I wanted, I could boot her out any time. Suppose she takes after her father, eh? Youve got a bit of backbone, Ill give you that, though its not much.
Ill give you wet blanket if you dont watch it, even if you do own the place. And who says my backbones weak? Margaret mutters.
Well, its you who ran here for your daughter, not the other way round. Could have stood your groundshows youre soft.
Im tougher than you. Honestly, I only came here because youre looking peakyany day now youll be bedridden and someones got to take care of you. Ill do it, out of family loyalty. As long as Mary doesnt get stuck with it.
Hah! Dont make me laugh. Im in top shape, eat well, see the best doctors. Never even had kidsno stress! So why do you think youll outlast me, Margaret?
And so, life goes on with Margaret, the new granny in the city, finding her place in this very English family mess.
