My former mother-in-law is basically stalking my family.
Shes 52 and was my late wife Julias mum. I got married when I was 23Julia got pregnant just before the wedding, and we had a daughter, Anna.
Two years later, everything fell apart: Julia got seriously ill and passed away soon after.
So it was just me and Anna. I decided to move to a different town, closer to my parents. It made sensemy work days were ten hours long and they could help out with Anna. That was the deal.
I got promoted soon after and bought a house about half an hour from my mum and dad. From that point on, Anna was looked after either by my parents or by a nanny I hired (I insisted they have some time off; I didnt want to overload them). Anna is eight now.
Thats when my ex-mother-in-law decided to move to the same town as us, because she wanted to be near her granddaughter. To be honest, it took me by surprisenot because of her reasons (I get why!), but because she moved literally miles and miles to be here!
I thought, Fair enough. Julia was her only child and Annas her only granddaughter. I suppose she doesnt want to be all alone.
But since shes moved here, there have definitely been issues
For starters, shes in my house most of the day. Honestly, shes just always thereeven when I get home from work. And if that wasnt enough, she pops over every weekend Well, pops over isnt even the right phraseshes basically there from morning till night.
Shes there even when Annas at school. Shes always got her reasons:
Theres no one to tidy up, so I stay. Dust builds up every dayno house runs properly without a woman present.
The flowers are drooping, leave them much longer and youll have to chuck them.
There were burglars snooping around yesterday, but they didnt break in here because I was about.
And dont worry, I wont take any of your money.
Sometimes, I swear she thinks Julias ghost is living with us in our new house. Ive even overheard her chatting away to someone when theres obviously no one else around.
After so many discussions with her, Ive started feeling genuinely embarrassed by her behaviourits such an invasion of my space. She always acts like shes listening to me, but
Last week really tipped me over the edge. So, Ive actually been seeing someone for about a year and a half. Last weekend was supposed to be our first night in, just the two of us. Anna was staying at my parents, and I invited my girlfriend over.
We did the whole thingdinner, film, all that. We were just curled up on the sofa when suddenly, I heard this weird noise and a bit of a rustle in the hallway. I turned round, honestly terrified, and saw the blurry shape of my ex-mother-in-lawshed just let herself in, no knocking, nothing.
What now, are the flowers wilting again?
But before I could even say anything, she absolutely lost itgot angry and started accusing me of betraying Julias memory and disrespecting her.
I was furious. I told her exactly how I felt, took her spare key, and made it clear she wasnt welcome anymore:
You are no longer welcome in this house!
Thing is, she doesnt have anyone else, and a bunch of peopleincluding my parentsare telling me I should reconsider. I get itbasic decency and all that. Ill probably have to find a compromise and let Anna spend some weekends with her, since she is her only grandmother. But as for my house? Thats my sanctuary now, and shes not coming in again. Full stop.
