You stay home all day and do nothingafter those words, I decided it was time for consequences.
Before I married, friends would often warn me that a man begins to show his true colours once hes made you his wifeas if he suddenly owns you. But, just like any young and hopeful woman, I believed my husband would be different. Even before we tied the knot, he was considerate, never uttered a harsh word, treated me with gentleness, and always sought my company. I truly thought wed be an exception to the rule. I was wrong, as many women realise too late. The truth is, once a man feels hes won a womans heart, things sometimes change.
Only a few months after our wedding, James started making unpleasant remarks about my mother. Why does she ring so often? Why does she pop around every week? he would grumble. Wanting to keep the peace, I reluctantly agreed with him. I didnt want conflict at home, so I asked Mum to call less and visit only when he was out. Id call her back when I was alone just to hear a friendly voice, but I felt more isolated than ever.
Then, when I fell pregnant, circumstances worsened. I lost my job at the bakery because my pregnancy was at risk, and I had to rest in bed most days. Without my contract being renewed, I depended on Jamess income. Rather than showing understanding, he began criticising me: You sit at home all day, doing absolutely nothing! I swallowed my wordspregnant and frightened of being left on my own.
After our daughter Lily turned a year and a half, Jamess demands escalated. He started expecting me to wait by the front door when he came home, greet him with his slippers, and always have a piping hot meal ready the moment he walked in from the rain. The care of our childfeeding, bathing, comfortingwas apparently all womans work. I was exhausted beyond measure.
Finally, Id had enough. I packed up mine and Lilys things and moved in with Mum in Kent. I didnt speak to James for two months. Life carried on; I got a new job at the library and with each passing week regained a bit more of myself.
One afternoon, James appeared at Mums doorstep, looking pale, thin, and noticeably worse for wear. He knelt down and begged for forgiveness. I looked at him and calmly said, If you want us to come home, you need to learn how to help. Youll sign up for a cookery course and start doing your fair share of the housework. When I come back, I expect to find you as much a part of this family as anyone. With little hesitation, he agreed. Time would tell if he would change.
The lesson I learntand which James soon discoveredis that respect cannot be demanded, but must be earned each and every day, by sharing the load and appreciating your loved ones. When you treat someone truly as your partner, not a possession, both your lives become infinitely richer.
